Father demands daughter fund his 78-year-old sister's lavish lifestyle after he's gone, cuts her out of the will when she says no: 'She has children that should be doing that'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Nov 7, 2025 5:00 PM EST

Family and money never mix well. One woman recently shared that her father asked her to promise to take care of his sister financially after he dies. The daughter refused, saying it wasn't fair for her to take on that burden, especially since her aunt has adult children of her own who should be responsible for her well-being.

The aunt, who once lived comfortably but never planned for her future, now relies heavily on the woman's dad for financial support. Despite already giving his sister over $100K in inheritance money years ago, the father still feels obligated to help and expects his daughter to continue that legacy after he's gone.

When she refused, saying she'd worked hard to be financially independent and didn't want to bankroll someone else's poor planning, her father took it personally. 

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  • He told her she’d be written out of the will and that her share would go to his sister instead.

    Now the internet is divided. Some say she’s right to set boundaries, while others think she could’ve handled it with more empathy. Either way, this family feud proves that even the best intentions can turn messy when inheritance and guilt collide.

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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.


     

  • "Don’t want to assume financial responsibility for my 78-year-old aunt - dad is writing me out of the will as a result - AITAH?"

    My father and I just had an argument because he asked me to "promise to take care of my aunt after he dies" and I refused to commit to that.
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  • He is now writing me out of his will. I'm posting here because I'm genuinely unsure which of us is in the wrong.
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  • My father's older sister (my aunt) is a genuinely kind person, but she has not been a significant part of my life due to living abroad for most of it.
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  • She is extremely dear to my father and took care of him like a mother when he was small.
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  • She is one of the most important people in his life. She comes from a culture that loves designer brands, showing off to others, and spending lavishly.
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  • Her children are similar in their values. When my grandmother died, she left her children, including my aunt and father, a significant inheritance.
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  • My father also gave his entire portion, over $100k, to my aunt, in addition to what she inherited.
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  • My aunt gave it all to her daughter (my cousin), who blew it all on fancy clothing and Michelin star restaurants.
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  • My aunt and her husband also never saved up to secure their own futures, and now my aunt is living with her daughter in near poverty and my dad is helping bankroll them.
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  • I've worked my whole life to be self sufficient. I'm frugal and often deprive myself of luxuries to secure my future.
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  • I think it's unfair for my dad to ask me to financially take care of my aunt when she has children that should be doing that.
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  • My father has been decent and generous with me, and he thinks that I should be willing to make the promise to take care of his beloved sister because of that.
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  • I've also been incredibly good to him, doing far more to emotionally support him than I think most daughters do for their fathers.
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    via David Hinkle For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.


     

  • After I said I won't make the promise to financially secure my aunt's future, my father said that he will write me out of the will and give my share to his sister.
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  • I told him that it's his choice to do whatever he wants with his money. AITAH?
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  • Edit: I think my initial post was misleading about my aunt's choices. I don't think she's a big spender.
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  • Her current situation is a combination of being from a poorer country, not planning for her future, and giving everything she had to her kids, who do spend lavishly.
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  • Usual_Style2163 It sounds like there is a communication problem, more than either of you being AH. What does "secure" mean, exactly? Because there's nothing wrong with helping make sure your elderly aunt has food on the table and a roof over her head. To "take care" of someone doesn't mean give them a lavish, unsustainable lifestyle. Maybe your dad wants to indulge the sister that's been a mother to him, sure. But that doesn't mean you have to. And if you are refusing to "take care" of his siste
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  • OP CraftyAd5978 This is exactly the reason I'm not sure who the AH is. I'm comfortable but worked hard to get here and still live a frugal life. I understand why he would want to ensure she has food on the table. She is a kind person. I understand why he doesn't trust her children to provide for her because they are vain and materialistic. But I still don't think it's fair to ask me to take care of her.
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  • Traveling-Techie How old is he? Does he expect his aunt to outlive him?
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  • OP CraftyAd5978 He's about seven years younger than her. She's healthier than him though.
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  • Expensive DollarStore Its his money. If he would rather his sister have it over his own child, that's up to him. But I would not be helping him with anything from then on either if I meant nothing to him.
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  • Mysterious-Fix9135 NTA. I have never jumped on the Reddit cut people off bandwagon, but in this case, he would be dead to me. If he wants to cut you out of his will so his materialistic sister can continue to blow his money on materialistic shit she can't afford, he can stop expecting you to care for him and provide him with emotional support. What an ass. ETA: Ofc he can do whatever he wants with his money. That's not the point of AITAH. Punishing his daughter for being caring, hard- working, a
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  • Aggressive-Pass 7181 NTA. Blackmail isn't love. He'll give the money to her daughter and in no time she'll blow it and they'll be right back in poverty. Your aunt and her kids made choices. Your father should be ashamed.
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  • NTA FreshCheeseLuck you're probably the only person with their head on straight and he knows it. That's probably why her wants your help. Here's a hands off compromise suggestion: Help him research some sort of trust, that can only be used for housing, medical, things that are NECESSARY TO LIVE. This way you're helping him protect her future but not promising to live with her or policing her daily spending habits (or defend her from moochers) Good luck! Update me
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  • DragonSeaFruit He can write you out of his will. He can also spend his last few years in a nursing home, which frankly will drain most of the inheritance anyway.
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  • photogcapture NTA - and your dad is a sucker. He has enabled this behavior. Let him cut you out. You do you, knowing you'll never be like them, and that's a good thing. He has weaponized his money to blackmail you into caring for someone who has never been responsible in the first place. You are saying no to enabling bad habits, because essentially, you'll be caring for the daughter, not the mother. She gave all her cash to her daughter. They deserve each other, and your dad should back off too.
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  • The VillageOxymoron NAH. He can do what he wants with his money just as you can do what you want with yours.
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  • AnyBake69 NTA. But she is 78 and your dad is younger. The assets from will won't be released for quite a long time and your aunt might not be alive by then. There is no harm in playing along and using a portion for hospice care should that day come.
    via AnyBake69

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Tags

family drama inheritance lavish lifestyle codependent will parenting finances aunt dad relationship feud dependent care daughter elderly financial support
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