Mother's several-week stay at 26-year-old son's apartment turns into a 4-month residency, he refuses to let her stay any longer: ‘I'm starting to feel like a guest in my own home’

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    middle aged woman sitting in a chair
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    "AITA for refusing to let my mom move in with me even though she says she has nowhere else to go?"

    My name is mark, 26 years old, finally got my own apartment last year after saving for years.
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    It's a small one- bedroom place, nothing fancy, but it's mine and it's the first time I've ever really had privacy.
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    My mom, she is 52 years old recently broke up with her boyfriend and had to move out of his house.
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    She called me crying, saying she didn't have anywhere to go and asked if she could stay for a few weeks.
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    Of course, I said yes, she's my mom. But it's been four months. She hasn't looked for a new place, doesn't help with groceries, and has started treating my apartment like it's hers.
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    She rearranged my furniture, keeps commenting on my food choices, and even tried to throw away some of my stuff because it looked old.
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    I've gently brought it up a few times, but every time I do, she gets emotional and says things like, "Wow, after all I did for you, now you're kicking me out?" or "You'd let your own mother be homeless?" Last week, she invited two of her friends over while I was at work without even asking.
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    I came home to people sitting on my couch drinking wine. That's when I told her we needed to set a deadline for her to move out.
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    She cried and said I've changed and that she can't believe how cold I've become. My sister thinks I'm being heartless, but she lives two hours away and isn't offering to take Mom in either.
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    I love my mom, but just can't live like this anymore. I'm starting to feel like a guest in my own home.
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    a man sitting at a table with his hands on his head
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    AITA for asking my mom to move out even though she says she has nowhere to go?
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    opine704 NTA She DOES have somewhere to go - sister's house. Or how 'bout those friends who were drinking wine on your sofa? Or her own place. She's had zero rent for 4 months = she should have a nice deposit saved up for a rental. She has overstayed, overstepped, and under performed.
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    dell828 BLAME THE LANDLORD... Tell her she is not on your lease, and needs to leave, as you are allowed guests, but she is no longer a guest, and you are now potentially violating your lease, and could be kicked out.
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    Odd_Tea4945 Your mom has "nowhere to go" because she hasn't looked for where to go in 4 months. I think she's quite comfortable at your place, she's making it hers and she's very comfortable not paying for a thing. And she's guilt tripping you
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    If you want my honest opinion, this will go bad for you. She might even say that you're the one that needs to find another place, because she made your home hers
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    If I was in your shoes, I'd give her a deadline. She's going to guilt trip you over and over and you can answer her is not healthy for anyone that you two live together, that she needs her own space to do whatever she likes and you also need your space
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    ReadMeDrMemory NTA. She's an adult. It was good of you to take her in temporarily, but she needs to find accommodation of her own, not just take over yours.
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    VFM001 Nta. She's never leaving if you don't help her find the door. Give her a lift to your sister's place and wish them well...
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    Ti yBaker_ NTA but she's manipulating the hell out of you. I'm going to be a little mean here but it sounds like you need it.
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    Mom does not have your best interests at heart like she should. Instead she's taking advantage of you and everything you've worked for. I'm going to go as far as calling this abuse between the emotional manipulation and financial aspect. Especially with the flying monkey sister involved, who you should be asking when she's taking her turn hosting any time she tries to start with you.
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    You need to stand up for yourself and make her leave. The timeline isn't going to work. Her reaction to that conversation after 4 months of freeloading is proof enough of that. It's time for her to go. She might be your mother but she's not supposed to be your problem.

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