'She won’t respond to me, she won’t play with me': Frustrated new cat mom heartbroken when fickle adopted kitty acts distant, helpful internet strangers come to her aid

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Nov 10, 2025 5:00 PM EST

We all want our pets to love us. To walk in and have our cute kitty come up purring and rubbing themselves all over our legs, snuggle up to us when we're laying in bed, and to sometimes just be docile and loving. But what's the reality? In reality, they're often unscrupulous, mischievous, and naughty. They want the pets, but instead of coming up to you and simply cuddling up to you on the couch, they start scream-meowing from a distant room all to make you get up and pet them. Then half the time you get up, they run away upon seeing you to bait you into roaming around the house desperate to give them one pet or one kiss. They are truly emotionally sneaky, and the cat in the story below is absolutely the same. 

The protagonist is at a loss – she's had this new cat for two weeks, so it's still early in their relationship. But she sees no way out of the labyrinth of suffering. No matter if it's a hooman or an animal, you can't force someone to love you. 

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  • 01

    My adopted cat is now scared of me and doesn’t play with me anymore

    Woman holding new kitten
    via Natalia Sotikova from Natalia Sotikova / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So I've had my adopted cat for 2 weeks now. At first she was shy and skittish and just stayed under my bed for a few days. Then she
    via u/Fathom8547
  • 03
    finally came out and started playing and being vocal. 2 days ago, it was 1 in the morning and she was making a lot of noise,
    via u/Fathom8547
  • 04
    because of this I tried to see what she was making noise about. Me being very tired I tried to put her back in her bed. She kept getting
    via u/Fathom8547
  • 05
    out and the last time I tried to put her in her bed she got out of it and I got frustrated with her. I was trying to go pick her up and
    via u/Fathom8547
  • 06
    Kitten being trained
    via maksime / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    she just started running away, and when I went after her she was just running to avoid me. I trying
    via u/Fathom8547
  • 08
    to grab her when she ran past me and missed and fell. Now she won't respond to me, she won't play with me, or come out from
    via u/Fathom8547
  • 09
    under the bed for treats. What should I do? It's making me feel sad because she trusted me and was loving and friendly but now
    via u/Fathom8547
  • 10
    she is only friendly to my friends when they come over. I think this may have been the last straw for her because, she got mad at me
    via u/Fathom8547
  • 11
    for taking her to the vet, And she also got mad when I had to put tear drops in her eyes, so I feel
    via u/Fathom8547
  • 12
    like me getting frustrated with her was her last straw and is done with me. Can someone please help me?
    via u/Fathom8547
  • 13
    New adopted kitten
    via Azaliya / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    Emergency-Set-1093 you don't force a cat to bed!!
    via u/Emergency-Set-1093
  • 15
    they go in their own terms
    via u/Emergency-Set-1093
  • 16
    dasoomer You need to give it time
    via u/dasoomer
  • 17
    ottawa4us You need time. She was with you just 2 weeks. My rescue hid for almost a month u til
    via u/ottawa4us
  • 18
    she started coming out and exploring the house at night. Give her time and keep calm. Don't try to pet her or
    via u/ottawa4us
  • 19
    pick her up. Just let her come to you. Give her treats. Once she will feel safe around you, she will settle
    via u/ottawa4us
  • 20
    down. As for waking you at night, was she fixed? She may be in heat
    via u/ottawa4us

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