Parents demand 26-year-old niece give free private lessons to their kids, dropping the kids off for tutoring without even asking, leading to family dispute: 'I'm done being their private teacher'

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    I’m done with being my family’s private teacher

    So, I (26 F) graduaded from a Technical Highschool a while ago, thus why i've been the designated free private teacher for most of my cousins that have enter to these type of schools.
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    Mind you, i have no issue with this, ik that those schools are hard and draining, so while it wasn't my idea | didn't budge either.
  • 04
    The problem starts with two super entitled relatives (let's call them Rob and Hannah) their son (Frank, 15 M) atends a TS too, but the difference is that unlike my other cousins Frank doesn't cares or even tries with his studies; he's more into the local culture than any other thing.
  • 05
    This is why from all people i get super dettached from him. Now, Rob and Hannah used to ask for my help with days of anticipation, but lately they have just dropped Frank into my house even for the minimum homework, and as you can guess I always end up making all his homeworks/projects/presentations and always have to teach him everything for all his tests.
  • 06
    If this was just once in a while i wouldn't care tbh, even with his attitude, but now has become an everyday problem; like, I haven't had a single weekend for myself, and if i don't help Frank then Rob and Hannah start to stir up drama without the family bc "i'm a bad cousin and wants Frank to fail".
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    In all of this my dad is the only one who actually gets mad, but he can't stick up his nose bc Rob would make everyone fight him (I don't blame my dad tho, Rob it's not his brother, and it's my mom's side of the fam who are making this problem).
  • 08
    To not make this any longer, yep, i have refused to help this many times a week, mostly bc my fracture and bc i have a very delicate health condition that is hurtful af (this is part of why i'm injured btw); but Hannah actually came to my home today not only with Frank, but also with a kid I didn't even knew bc "they need your help for their. english test".
  • 09
    They know abt my wrist, they know abt my decease and they know that i'm not even comfortable with the situation.
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    And you know the worst part?? That Frank is actually on the verge of failing the whole year, so all of this is meaningless.
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    Also, some days ago my PC broke while rendering, and it was the day that Frank needed me to make one of his projects; needless to say, Hannah made a very nasty comment while exiting my house that "now we will have to go to my niece's house, thanks" (i'm always compared to this girl i don't even know by Hannah btw).
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    So next time they try to drop Frank out here i prolly will just pretend i'm not even home, hopefully my mom doesn't opens the door.
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    If this stirs more drama i'll let you know btw. Apologies for the long post, ly!
  • 14
    catsknowtoomuch Next time they come by, tell them to go to Hannah's niece's place... You're not available
  • 15
    OP SilverPotatou That's a good one, i will tell them that next time (so prolly tomorrow or on Monday Imao) XD thanks!!
  • 16
    NoodleNymph201 Yes omg just straight up ghost them at the door next time, they have zero right to dump their kid on you.
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    OP Silver Potatou I'm planning to! XD and it's not only him, my uncle Rob usually stays at my house until VERY VERY late if he has the opportunity
  • 18
    OMGyarn And now you're broken, so when are Rob and Hannah going to help you? I hope your arm gels quickly!
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    OP Silver Potatou They have Never helped at any scale ngl, yet my family expects me to save Frank's school life lol, also thank you so much!
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    Findrin Lock the door and don't answer it. If you don't put your foot down you're going to be the neighborhood daycare and wishing you stood up for yourself when you're preparing 10-12 box lunches for kids you don't even know
  • 22
    OP SilverPotatou You're right abt that, I didn't write it in the post, but Rob have this thing of demanding things for his family and Franks friends, so for example: if they came by with Frank and his bestie and we're eating lunch they wil DEMAND to serve them or to order food for them. Needless to say, i will not open that door again, now all depends on my Mother (we live together and has a soft spot for Rob as a big sis)
  • 23
    Excellent_Ad1132 NTA. Tell Rob and Hannah that it would be worth your time if Frank actually cared about his grades even one quarter as much as they do. However, since he doesn't give a crap, you are done wasting your time on a kid who would be better getting a job at McDonalds, if he is lucky. So, they should stop wasting your time. When they complain, then tell them that maybe Frank would be better off with the niece, especially since you are done wasting your time.
  • 24
    OP SilverPotatou This! This is why I'm mostly done and you nailed it, even if his patents are entitled ah i would carry on for a kid who is actually interesed in his studies, but nah, Frank is more interesed in drop out and don't work at all (he plans to be a NEED)
  • 25
    Bill3187 Tell them that from now on you will charge by the hour, no ifs ands or buts
  • 26
    OP Silver Potatou I wish i could do this, but one of the things of why my family relies on me with the "private lessons" it's bc some of them (counting Rob's family) are struggling, and if i drop this bomb i will prolly will be kicked out from family functions (it has happened. before with other problems, for example: i wasn't welcome to 2023's christmas bc i was planning everything but nobody wanted to pay their share)
  • 27
    boomermonty Send a message. "Tutoring Frank won't work for me". The end. No apology. No explanation. Repeat like a broken record. Also, lock your doors and don't let them drop him off. Learn to protect your boundaries. Especially with intrusive family members.
  • 28
    OP Silver Potatou I will def Ghost them, but sending that message would be specially funny bc i've been ignoring several of Hannah's requests via WhatsApp, like i haven't even opened the chat XDDD so that'd be the hit of grace ngl lol

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