Dad refuses to buy birthday and Christmas gifts for his kids' half-siblings, claiming they are not his problem, their Mom demands otherwise: 'She's relying on me to pick up the slack’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 15, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Every birthday and every Christmas, kids all over the world wait for one thing and one thing only – the presents.

Sure, the Christmas break from school is awesome, the birthday cake is fun, and who doesn't love all the attention? But the real deal is all the gifts you get, the things for which you have waited so long and finally get to have. Every Christmas and birthday is the perfect opportunity to finally get what you were wishing for, and as a kid, that feeling is as good as it gets.

However, not every parent can afford to grant their kids' every wish, and presents are not as easy to obtain as children might think. So, some parents find themselves, well, improvising. They look for other ways to get their kids gifts, ways that sometimes prove themselves fruitful and other times, unfortunately, not.

The mom in the story below tried to pressure her ex into buying presents for all her kids, even the ones who are not his. She claimed she cannot afford to buy presents for all of them, and that he should pick up the slack since no other dad is involved. He, however, disagrees.

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  • 01

    AITAH for refusing to buy presents for my kids half siblings?

    I have two kids with my ex who we share custody of. She has three more kids with different dads and she's currently expecting another one with another different dad.
    via Shauriych
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10574015488
    via Sergey Novikov

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    So far I'm the only dad involved. This means my kids have more than her other kids.
    via Shauriych
  • 04
    I'll always provide for my kids and be there for them. The other kids are not my problem and I have no them. relationship with
    via Shauriych
  • 05
    Back in February my ex sent me the dates of her other kids birthdays and asked me to buy presents for their birthdays and to send presents to her house for Christmas.
    via Shauriych
  • 06
    I texted back that it would not happen and she could forget it. She told me I had to because her kids only had her now.
    via Shauriych
  • 07
    She ended up no contact with her family and since the dads and their families aren't involved it's just her for her kids while our kids have me and my family added to that.
    via Shauriych
  • 08
    All three of the half siblings have had birthdays by now and I bought no presents.
    via Shauriych
  • 09
    I have no intention of buying them Christmas presents either. She's come to realize I'm not just going to give in either because each birthday she reminded me of and texted me insults after they passed with no present.
    via Shauriych
  • 10
    With Christmas coming closer she's increased her attempts to make me do this. She has tried to make me feel guilty, has tried to bring our kids into it and I just don't feel guilty.
    via Shauriych
  • 11
    These kids are not my responsibility and my ex is relying on me to pick up the slack for all the deadbeat dads she choosing for her other kids and I won't do it.
    via Shauriych
  • 12
    My kids notice the difference in stuff and I always tell them not to brag or be mean about it.
    via Shauriych
  • 13
    But they're not losing sleep or broken up over it because they know the others have different dads and families than them.
    via Shauriych
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10574021632
    via Vlada Karpovich

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    I feel like asking them not to brag or be mean about having more is my obligation done because I'm not raising bullies or mean kids.
    via Shauriych
  • 16
    To me that's all I owe this. My ex is convinced otherwise and has told me often enough this past (almost) year that I'm an AH.
    via Shauriych
  • 17
    13ex_G Depends where she lives but there is usually programs and organizations she can go to, to get presents if she doesn't have anything. Also you guys should use a parenting app for communication if she is going to harass you.
    via Shauriych
  • 18
    OP Shauriych We have organizations for people like that. She might not want to use them. But that's up to her. They're her kids. That's not a bad idea because she's not going to let this go tomorrow and could start saying more shit that she shouldn't.
    via Shauriych
  • 19
    pookapotomus2 Nta. Perhaps she should stop having children she can't afford or choose more involved partners
    via Shauriych
  • 20
    OP Shauriych I suggested she focus on the kids she has already but she didn't like that. I don't think she'll stop having them for a while yet either.
    via Shauriych
  • 21
    stupiduselesstwat Are your kids getting close to the age they can decide who they want to live with? Doesn't sound like a very healthy environment for them, what with their mom who can't stop getting pregnant with quite a few losers.
    via Shauriych
  • 22
    OP Shauriych They have more years left before they'd have any kind of say. It's not good because it's not a good environment for them but it's not something that the courts want to act on right now either.
    via Shauriych
  • 23
    rainbowflexbow I think you're doing all the right things. Do you want 100% custody?
    via Shauriych
  • 24
    OP Shauriych Yes, that would be my ideal and I know it would give my kids a better life and way more stability. But it's not achievable for me right now.
    via Shauriych
  • 25
    jensmith20055002 If you had full custody, this wouldn't be a problem.
    via Shauriych
  • 26
    OP Shauriych I know. But I can't get full custody right now. It's something I'm working on to make sure my kids have a better life. But getting full custody is hard and courts ignore so much that's bad for them because they believe it's better for kids to have both parents even if one isn't doing a good by them.
    via Shauriych

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Tags

christmas family drama aita presents step siblings kids birthday mother siblings christmas presents parenting ex wife family parents children Father
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