Mother-in-law books expensive family vacation and tells sick daughter-in-law to stay home, then is upset after her son stands up for his wife and refuses to attend: 'I was over it'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Nov 15, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Dealing with chronic illness is already exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally, but for this woman, the real strain is coming from her in-laws.

After moving states to be closer to her husband's family, she's found herself repeatedly let down. Despite being retired, they never visit, rarely offer support, and expect her and her husband to make the hour-long drive every time… even though she's currently undergoing infusion treatments and can barely tolerate the trip.

So, when her MIL called with a "fun idea" to celebrate the shared birthday she has with her son by taking a week-long family vacation rolled into Thanksgiving, it sounded sweet… until the details came out. The MIL told her husband to come but suggested his very sick wife just stay home and rest. And when they pushed back… Surprise! She'd already booked a resort, spent thousands of dollars, and insisted the whole holiday would be ruined if they didn't show up.

Translation: she never planned to include her daughter-in-law at all.

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  • After months of being excluded and minimized, the woman finally snapped (politely, sarcastically, and gloriously) before hanging up. Now the in-laws are blowing up their phones, calling her disrespectful.

    The internet has thoughts.

  • Esky
    via Elle Hughes For Unsplash+

  • "AITA for hanging up on my MIL after she booked a family holiday that excluded me?"

    Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - I (30F) have recently been really sick and in and out of the hospital getting infusion treatments.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - My husband has been my rock through it all. Last year, we moved states because my in-laws asked us to.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - They have a micro family and want to stay close. Since our move, they've never once come to visit us except after we bought our house.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - They visited for an hour and left to "beat traffic". We've driven to them over 15 times (an hour each way), and they still expect we go to them even though the drive now wipes me out and risks my health.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - I don't have any family or close friends here besides them, and despite my husband asking several times for help, they always make excuses as to why they can't visit even though they're both retired.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - What's going on now is, my MIL and husband share a birthday. She recently called him saying it would be fun if the whole family went on a week long trip to celebrate and couple it with Thanksgiving.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - When my husband said he'd need to check with me since have appointments and you know, his job, she told him it's best I "stay home and rest" while everyone else went.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - He immediately told her no. He wasn't leaving me when I'm this sick especially during the holiday.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - He asked if we could postpone until I completed these rounds of treatment and just stick to something local.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - That's when MIL dropped that she'd already booked a resort three hours away, spent "thousands," and that if we didn't come, we'd be ruining Thanksgiving and her birthday.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - When he asked why she'd book it without confirming with us, she said it was the only week his brother was free.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - That's when it really hit me. She never intended to include me and possibly my husband.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - Her only concern was his brother's availability whom she seems everyday. It felt like she either purposely booked the trip to guilt my husband into going without me or as a way to exclude us.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - I was over it, exhausted, and just done with the lack of effort/care from her. I asked my husband if I could talk to her and in the calmest, most sarcastic tone I said, "please don't cancel your vacation.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - I really, TRULY, hope you have SUCH an amazing time on YOUR birthday. So much so that you forget we're even there.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - Because we won't be. Bye." Then I hung up the phone. My husband took the phone and put it in his pocket.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Cheezburger Image 10576273408
    via Kev Costello For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.


     

  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - He told me, he had no notes and we carried on with our day. Now MIL, FIL, and BIL are calling nonstop, leaving messages saying I was rude and disrespectful.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Clearingthegarage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ow58vi/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mil_after_she_booked_a/ - So, AITA for hanging up on my MIL after she booked a family holiday that excluded me?
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Esosorum A micro family? What is that, a family for ants?
    via Esosorum
  • OP Clearingthegarage A family of 4. Mom, Dad, and 2 brothers. My husband only knew 1 grandparent growing up who passed 15 years ago. The others passed before he was born. They have no cousins, aunts, uncles or even distant relatives.
    via Clearingthegarage
  • Cute-Profession9983 Time to put the house on the market and move to greener pastures
    via Cute-Profession9983
  • BaseSame5632 Your MIL didn't just "forget" to include you. She planned a whole trip around the one person she actually cared to accommodate and expected your husband to fall in line. Given your health situation, her behavior was incredibly dismissive. Your response was firm but honestly pretty measured considering how blatant the exclusion was.
    via BaseSame5632
  • NTA. Going2beBANNEDanyway I have a feeling this MIL is very self centered, is willing to upset other people, but gets super angry if she is on the other end, and never apologizes for anything? Just a wild guess.
    via Going2beBANNEDanyway
  • Umm_what_I_think_is NTA, and I think you should talk to your husband about moving out of the area, possibly closer to your own family if that would be desirable. I'm especially alarmed at the way they tried to convince your husband to go on holiday without you... maybe they secretly want to drive a wedge between you and your spouse so they can get you out of the family? You know the whole 'get him alone so they can start subtly trashing you' angle. Alternatively your husband's brother is the gol
    via Umm_what_I_think_is
  • Right_Cucumber5775 Now, time to talk to your husband about selling and moving back to your village. You gave it a chance with his side. And it's not working. Go back to your family and support. You need that support much more than his parents want you two around.
    via Right_Cucumber5775
  • G-reeper66 I hope your health recovers and you and your husband have a truly wonderful life together. Get your house on the market and move to somewhere you can heal and relax as much as you can, your inlaws have shown their colours but excluding you and not visiting. Prioritize your own little family above all else. Sending you and hubby healing energy
    via G-reeper66
  • LumpyYogurtcloset254 Your MiL is the AH and so is the rest of your husbands family. If you can move back away from them and go LC. They wanted you to move back as a maneuver to control your husband and he's amazing and didn't let that happen. I'd bet with more context BiL falls right in line with what mommy says.
    via LumpyYogurtcloset254
  • andmewithoutmytowel "Mom, I am so SO sorry my wife was so disrespectful to you. Next time I'll make sure she does something more respectful than hanging up the phone - like have her schedule a family vacation that specifically excludes you over Christmas. Caio!"
    via andmewithoutmytowel
  • CassandraApollo Yes, MIL is TAH, she planned it for herself and her wants. And y'all moving closer to them was simply a control power play.
    via CassandraApollo

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family drama kids wife relationships parenting husband entitled people karma mother in law daughter karen son vacation
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