Woman babysits 4-month-old so friend can trick-or-treat with 7-year-old son, returns baby early when she can't stop calling: 'She continues to FaceTime me every 30 minutes to an hour'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 10, 2025 11:00 AM EST
a woman cradles a young baby as it falls asleep

For most new moms, clinginess is second nature.

It makes perfect evolutionary sense for a mother not to want to spend too much time apart from her young baby, even if this is not the most practical way to feel all of the time. When we think of all the effort that it takes to bring a child into the world, it is understandable that a mom wants to keep them close in their earliest stages of life. Add to that the idiosyncrasies of every baby's personal schedule, and it can feel very difficult to let them out of her sight.

Nonetheless, there usually comes a time when a mom cannot justify being with her child 24/7. When this happens is personal to every mother and baby, and it depends on various circumstances. If in doubt, it is better to wait a little longer before entrusting an infant's care to somebody else for a little while.

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  • a woman wearing a witch mask holds out a halloween bucket shaped like a pumpkin
    via Ivana Cajina (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This is what frustrated one woman who tried to do right by her close friend by agreeing to babysit her 4-month-old overnight so she could spend some quality time with her 7-year-old son. The mom and older child were going to go trick-or-treating while the woman, who was childless but had a lot of experience with kids, looked after the baby.

    Despite the mom asking for this favor, the woman found that she ended up disrupting the night of everyone involved by constantly contacting her for updates on the baby. She thought that her friend didn't trust her to take care of him, so in the end, she sent him back home early. This upset the mom, and she wondered if she had done something wrong.

  • AITA for giving my friend her baby back before I was supposed to?

    I'm genuinely struggling with this, so I'll take any honest/direct feedback I can get. I (F26) am childless (which I think may be relevant here).
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • My close friend "A" (F27) had her second baby,"R" almost 4 months ago, and her first, "T" (about 7 years old), has been having trouble adjusting to his new sibling.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • She'd been feeling a lot of guilt around this, so I let her know that once she's comfortable, I'd be down to babysit "R" so she could have some one-on-one time with "T".
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • She knows I have 12 niblings, (I was literally born an aunt) so she's comfortable with this.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • She took me up on the offer on Halloween so she could take "T" trick-or-treating. She asked if I could keep "R" overnight so she and "T" could take part in some tradition or other.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • I adore the baby, so of course, I said yes. Halloween rolls around, "A" drops "R" off at my apartment at around 4:00 PM, and everything's fine.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • After about an hour, "A" facetimes me to check on the baby. Another 45 minutes go by; "A" facetimes me again.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • No problem. This baby is really young, so I totally get the anxiety. She continues to facetime me every 30 minutes to an hour, even while she takes "T" trick-or-treating.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • She'd get to a spot with no signal or wi-fi, try to call, the call would drop, and she'd call back-to-back until facetime stopped dropping the call.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • a woman sits at a rainy bus stop and checks her phone
    via Serg Magpie

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • At some point, they finish up trick- or-treating and go to do their Halloween tradition. Whatever it is, it runs late.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • She's still wide awake (and facetiming) at around 10:00 PM when I'm getting ready for bed.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • I ask her if she just wants me to bring "R" home. She insists that she doesn't want that.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • I let her know that both "R" and I are about to be asleep, and (I definitely start getting a little a-holey here) maybe this would be a good time to finally focus on "T".
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • She continues to facetime every 30 minutes to an hour. I answer or call her back every time.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • Cheezburger Image 10574447616
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • She does not care. I finally get fed up at some point. "A" is clearly tired, "R" can't sleep because his mom won't stop calling (I won't put my phone on silent while I'm babysitting someone's newborn, for obvious reasons.), and I'm irritated.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • After we hang up the last time, I pack up "R" and his things, and I take him home.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • She's genuinely upset with me. I thought I was doing the right thing, because she was clearly struggling with being away from the baby.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • "T" was asleep by the time I dropped "R" back off, so it's not like I disturbed their time.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • I don't have kids, maybe that's why I can't gauge the issue, but someone please let me know if I was an AH for bringing the baby back home.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • a woman cradles a young baby as it falls asleep
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Positive_Comfort1216 NTA. I'm surprised she would even ask you to watch her baby overnight. She should have asked you to watch the baby at her home so you could leave once she was done with holiday stuff and the baby could sleep in their own bed. I think that was way too young for a baby to be away overnight. She should have stopped calling when it got to bedtime if she wanted the sleepover to be successful.
    via Positive_Comfort1216
  • OP OK_Kitchen6737 I was surprised when she asked for an overnight too, ngl. The only thing I can think of is that she thought she'd be okay, because "T" was a while ago, but I don't remember her being this anxious at all after having him.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • Head-Emotion-4598 You are NTA. The only thing that I think I would have done differently is to warn her: "A, the baby and I \need\ to go to sleep and you keep waking us up. If you call again before 7am, I'm going to pack him up and bring him home." Clearly she wan't really ready to be away from the baby, (which I get) but I really feel bad for T. Because you just know that in between those calls she was most likely distracted with thinking about the baby. So he probably didn't get any real atten
    via Head-Emotion-4598
  • OP OK_Kitchen6737 I definitely should have given her notice before I took him home. Someone else mentioned that that's where I went wrong; how I went about it was probably a little aggressive.
    via Ok_Kitchen6737
  • RedCaptain 17 NTA, and if you can gently find a way to check in with her about postpartum anxiety that may end up being helpful. She may be fine but it doesn't hurt to check in/ bring awareness if she was struggling to go 30 min without checking on baby while knowing they were with a trusted friend
    via RedCaptain17
  • SquirtleSquadGroupie Also!! You're a damn good friend! Babysitting her newborn and answering calls every 30min!!!
    via SquirtleSquadGroupie

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friends mom aita baby kids halloween trick or treat parenting babysitting reddit thread Reddit son
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