Colleague berates employee and falsely accuses them of workplace mismanagement, then files a formal complaint with HR: ‘She lost it’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Nov 13, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Human resources exists so employees feel comfortable expressing their grievances and frustrations about office relationships and workplace occurences without fear of retaliation from other colleagues. As much as we want to believe that HR is on our side and exists to help us, that isn't always the case.

It's important to remember that even though you might have a spotless record in the workplace and are the number one crusader for the Golden Rule, others will try at every turn to knock you down a notch so they can excel, even if they do not deserve it.

Our work ethics are symbiotic with our workplace relationships; each one relies on the other, and without one, the other falters and eventually fails. Even when we steer clear of "firecracker" personalities, they have a funny way of finding us in the corner of the office with our tuna sandwich and cup of coffee.

The colleague in the story below somehow finds a way to deflect blame from herself and instead, onto a fellow employee. This colleague then decides to file a formal complaint with HR detailing the actions that she had committed, but with the claim that the other employee committed them. What would you do in this situation?

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10575014400
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "Co-worker screamed at me in front of others. Then she sent a formal complaint to HR accusing me of what she did."

    The title sums up the situation. To give background/context; I'm a manager in a healthcare agency and supervise one discipline of staff.
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  • 03
    The ARNP filled out forms incorrectly/not legally/not valid. I believe it was done in honest error or not knowing the rules.
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  • 04
    My social work staff member was given the forms and knew it was not correct/best practice.
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  • 05
    I was on PTO. She reached out to our quality dept to ask about what to do.
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  • 06
    The MD that supervises ARNPS was informed. Imo, it's not great but it's also not the end of the world.
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  • 07
    The forms weren't filed or submitted anywhere. We could educate the APRN, destroy the form, and assist them having the forms completed by their primary care provider.
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  • 08
    The ARNP was dishonest/not forthcoming and the situation became more than it needed to be. I told my staff to keep minding their business, let medical handle their dept and next steps.
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  • 09
    My staff did the right thing. I told her to keep reaching out/speaking if she saw something not compliant/legal.
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  • 10
    The next 3-4 work days the APRN would call out the social worker in meetings, would call her and tell her to do things that the APRN should have been doing, and generally bossed her around, patronized, and was rude.
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  • 11
    On the 5th day I was working in their office. The APRN asked the SWer to set up a meeting for a family and the SWer did.
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  • 12
    APRN said she had concerns about medications. APRN titled the meeting "provider concerns." She also signed my social worker up for 3 additional tasks that weren't necessary.
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  • 13
    The APRN said she would be at the meeting but something came up with clinic and she couldn't.
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  • 14
    Most people would communicate they are seeing a patient/double booked and can't make it. Most people would provide a written or oral report out.
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  • 15
    Most people would get another medical staff to cover. Most people would reschedule for a time they could be present.
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  • 16
    Instead, she called the admin and screamed about how she has to do everyone's e ing job, she's so sick of how stupid and lazy everyone is, we can't do anything without her there to sign off, etc.
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  • 17
    She was gloating about "having to bite off social work's head" because of how dumb we are.
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  • 18
    The actual things said had very colorful language but I'm not sure of the rules with language.
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  • 19
    As a manager and also a social worker/therapist, I went to check on her a little after the meeting.
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  • 20
    I lightly knocked on her door, she said I could come in. I asked her "hey, what's going on?
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  • 21
    Are you alright?" She started to cry and talk about being overwhelmed. It was done in a way that was still very blame shifting/patronizing.
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  • 22
    Around this time the admin walked in. The admin gently talked to her and tried to explain when you request someone set up a meeting (instead of doing it yourself), and you confirmed you'd be there, that's what is presumed.
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  • 23
    The APRN was mad af my staff messaged and asked if she was joining. When we tried to explain communication/report out, etc.
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  • 24
    would be a helpful thing in the future if this situation happened again. We can't take back what's done.
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  • 25
    Let's focus on ways to make it better and something to try to improve outcomes. She lost it.
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  • 26
    Went off about how I need to manage/learn to manage, we are all so e ing stupid, we are all so lazy and so dumb.
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  • 27
    She's the only competent person and she's the only one who can get anything done. SW can't even hold a meeting without her.
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  • 28
    She spoke about nurses. She was yelling, crying, and slamming her hands on the table. I could tell we weren't going to make headway in discussion when I first tried to listen and respond.
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  • 29
    I stayed quiet the rest of the time. She started saying very mean things about my staff and what we should do, etc.
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  • 30
    I got really mad at this point and said "This is getting ridiculous and not productive.
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  • 31
    I'm going." She said good, go, get the eff out, no one wants you here, etc.
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  • 32
    I left and didn't talk about it to my staff or anyone else. I drove an hour home.
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  • 33
    When I got home I found out she wrote an email about me to HR making a formal complaint.
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  • 34
    She accused me of being a bully, hostile work environment, and a general statement about how I am the worst.
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  • 35
    She sent this very quickly after I left and was on PTO the rest of the week.
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  • 36
    The admin contacted our supervisors, including hers, and HR. She wrote a summary of what happened and how upsetting it was for her.
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  • 37
    She gave me a heads up she had already submitted that. The next morning I thought HR would call me right away but when I didn't hear anything by 10 am I reached out and asked to check-in about the "events" of the previous day.
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  • 38
    I didn't cry or yell when it happened and haven't since. They asked me to write a statement (including traditional info like location, time, date, witnesses, etc.
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  • 39
    Cheezburger Image 10575015424
    via Andrej Lišakov For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 40
    I wrote mine with slightly more detail than above. The admin submitted one. The social workers I supervise submitted one.
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  • 41
    Their office is on the other side of the APRN's when she was yelling about them.
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  • 42
    The other MD in the clinic submitted a statement about what she heard/witnessed. I think the APRN had been rude to her that day, too.
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  • 43
    I didn't hear anything after I submitted and it's been enough time I think everyone has submitted now.
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  • 44
    I reached out to my boss to ask about next steps. I've never ever been in trouble at work.
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  • 45
    My boss said the statements submitted along with mine reflect what I reported. I tried to check-in and advocate for my social worker and it went sideways.
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  • 46
    She told me not to sorry but alas I am. I do think she made the report essentially accusing me of what she did as a blame shift/deflection.
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  • 47
    I submitted emails showing her "picking on" the social worker and bossing her around. I submitted an email she sent to me including her boss with a list of things she thinks I should start doing and shes concerned we are the problem.
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  • 48
    To me, she's clearly targeting social work. It happened the same day as the issue with the form... So...what happens next?
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  • 49
    I can be professional/respectful/polite but me and everyone else in the building know what she really thinks about us.
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terrible coworkers workplace-stories coworker stories toxic-workplace work coworkers askreddit reddit story horrible-management horrible coworkers workplace entitled coworker reddit thread coworker entitled people toxic-work-environment
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