'I don’t think it’s fair for her to take advantage of me': 24-year-old woman living with her brother refuses to keep doing her lazy sister-in-law, Lara's, personal laundry after being repeatedly treated like the "household maid"

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 13, 2025 3:00 PM EST

A fork washed or sock spun now and then is one thing, but expecting someone else to wash your personal laundry is a whole different league of crazy expectations. This 24-year-old girl lives with her brother and his wife, and whilst she is grateful for their hospitality, she equally contributes to the finances and utilities, so as much as it was the couple's home, it is now equally all three of theirs. Meaning, that this younger sister does not need to feel a responsibility to pick up the slack around the house, yet she still finds herself expected to do so…Her sister-in-law has seemed to convince herself that she is the laundry fairy summoned with duties to have her clothing crispy clean every week.

Her lazy sister-in-law doesn't even bother to come up with excuses for not doing her own laundry, besides the reason that she simply does not feel like it. If this younger sister, or her brother, doesn't put a stop to his wife's entitled behaviour, the loving sister-in-laws relationship will vanish faster than our socks in the dryer…and we all know how heartbreaking that can be…

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  • When you let things slide, they become a pattern, and suddenly the criminal no longer recognizes their actions as crimes. So if this sister wants her SIL's behavior to change, she's going to have to take the stand, whether or not her brother sits among the jury. The laundry freeloader has to be stopped before it's too late…or just put some reds in her white load, either way! 

  • Annoyed young woman doing laundry
    via elnur

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for refusing to do my sister in-law’s laundry when she’s perfectly capable?

    I 24F live with my brother and his wife 26F, my sister-in-law Lara. Things have always been a little tense between Lara and me because she's one of those people who likes to take shortcuts and expects others to pick up the slack.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • I'm used to doing my part around the house, but lately, things have been getting out of hand.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • At first, Lara would ask me to help with things like unloading the dishwasher or folding towels, which I didn't mind.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • it's normal to help out around the house when you live together. But then it started getting a little ridiculous.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • Lara started asking me to do her laundry, as i, her personal laundry; her clothes, socks, underwear, you name it.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • I don't mind throwing in a load of shared laundry, like sheets or towels, but she's perfectly capable of doing her own laundry.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • She's not pregnant, she's not sick, and she has all the time in the world. At first, I'd do it when she'd ask, thinking it was just a one-off favor.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • But then it became a pattern. She'd leave her laundry in front of my door, or text me asking if I could throw it in the wash because she just didn't feel like it.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • The first few times, I did it but soon I started to feel like a maid in my own brother's home.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • So I finally put my foot down. I told her I wasn't going to do her laundry anymore and that if she could wash her own clothes, she should be doing it herself.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • Woman on the phone while doing laundry
    via Sarah Chai

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She didn't take it well. She told me I was being selfish and unhelpful because I don't understand how exhausting housework is.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • Mind you, she's not the one doing all the cleaning or cooking, and she's at home all day with plenty of free time.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • My brother didn't say much at first, but later he told me I should just help her out because it wasn't a big deal.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • I don't think it's fair that I should be doing her personal laundry just because she doesn't want to make the effort.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • Now there's a bit of tension between us. Lara barely talks to me, and my brother seems annoyed that I won't just let it go.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • I've been doing my part around the house, but I don't think it's fair for her to take advantage of me like this.
    via ExoticRbs39
  • So, AITA for refusing to do my sister-in-law's laundry when she's perfectly capable of doing it herself?
    via ExoticRbs39
  • Curious_Eggplant6296 Stop doing her laundry. If she puts her laundry in front of your door, move it. If she texts you or tells you to do her laundry, ignore her. Don't even argue with her about it because it's ridiculous. Unless your brother is a total weirdo, he knows it's not your job to do his wife's personal laundry. It sounds like he's used to taking the path of least resistance with his wife and wants you to do the same to keep the peace, but that's between the two of them, not you.
    via Curious_Eggplant6296
  • OP ExoticRbs39 He knows but he won't speak the truth!
    via ExoticRbs39
  • Couple arguing on the couch
    via pixelshot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Logical Force3821 The easiest way to get out of doing a job routinely is to do a BAD JOB of it. Buy some red towels to wash with her whites. Dry her delicate synthetics on the highest dryer setting. Wash her bright colors in hot water. That's the ticket!
    via Logical_Force3821
  • Merle8888 INFO: What's going on with your living situation? I see you're saying you pay 30% of the bills, does that include the rent/mortgage or just utilities and food? Do you work? Does your SIL work? What household responsibilities do you routinely perform without having to be specifically asked?
    via Merle8888
  • OP ExoticRbs39 we don't assign house duties. i do almost everything. she's left with just washing cooking and doing her laundry
    via ExoticRbs39
  • BodybuilderOk7606 Depends if you are staying for free or cheap. If you are then help if you share rent/bills equally then no way!
    via BodybuilderOk7606
  • OP ExoticRbs39 i pay thirty percent of the bills
    via ExoticRbs39
  • Terrible_Ask6658 She's ridiculous. You're not her maid. The entitlement is unreal.
    via Terrible_Ask6658

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Tags

utilities laundry family drama cleaning drama brother sister-in-law living together lazy siblings help out house chores rent chores clothing family payment washing
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