Entitled woman invites herself to Friendsgiving, arrives two hours late, then stuns host by demanding to borrow their tables, dishes, and décor for her own party, after going no contact when refused, she asks again a year later: 'I was pretty put off'

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  • Friends celebrating at dinner
  • AITA for saying an acquaintance can’t borrow my entire Thanksgiving setup?

    We (30s) have hosted a Friendsgiving at our home for a few years with about 20 friends from our community.
  • Last year, a friend of a friend (an acquaintance that we met once briefly at a gathering) reached out to me a few days before the event and asked if she and her husband (40s) could come.
  • I said sure! They're notoriously hours late to everything and said they'd bring appetizers. Sure enough, two hours after everyone else was there, she reached out to me for my address (they live two minutes away and everyone else is at our house often).
  • We had to hold off on dinner until they arrived, and it was a little awkward, but no big deal.
  • The next day, this person reaches out to me and asks if she can borrow our table, chairs, plates, silverware, wine glasses, and decorations for a Friendsgiving that they're hosting the next day (that we obviously weren't invited to)!!
  • I was pretty put off, and didn't want to deal with having to arrange the logistics of that as they don't even have a car that can transport the table, etc.
  • Thanksgiving table set-up
  • I said that no, we were bringing a lot of the stuff to my parent's gathering for Thanksgiving.
  • I didn't hear anything from her after that. Now, after not running into them or hearing from them for a whole year, she just asked again if they can borrow our stuff!
  • AITA for saying no last year, and WIBTA if I say no again?? Edit since so many people mentioned it: they were two hours late to the party itself.
  • Lots of cocktails and mingling to be had before dinner. We held off maybe another 15 minutes once the turkey was ready to serve and they walked in as folks were sitting down for dinner.
  • JustKindaHappenedxx Who holds dinner for 2 hours for a rude guest? Dinner is served at X. If you arrive late, grab a plate and eat what's left. The day doesn't wait on you.
  • OP spicycrybaby69 They were two hours late to the party, maybe 15 to the actual dinner. Dinner isn't served immediately.
  • AssignmentRelevant72 If you say no and she never speaks to you again.... so what?
  • OP spicycrybaby69 Well I did that and now she's asking again.
  • Woman on the phone
  • AssignmentRelevant72 Say no again for another year.....
  • OP spicycrybaby69 Yes I will be doing that. It shall be called "the annual No-giving."
  • Professor Distinct835 NTA. Perhaps she'd also like you to cook for the Friendsgiving you're not invited to?
  • prairiefiresk Yeah. She wouldn't be two hours late to dinner here. She'd just miss it. I'm not waiting until the food is cold to eat for someone who can't show up on time.
  • OP spicycrybaby69 We didn't just sit around staring at the food go cold. Party starts, people trickle in and dinner is served maybe two hours after the start time. Everything is kept warm in ovens or serving trays.
  • FatterThan|ThinklAm I can't imagine how people have the balls to call near-strangers and ask if they can come to a party. There's no shortage of nerve there!
  • OP spicycrybaby69 Yeah I was surprised and a bit annoyed, but it's a small community and I wanted to be nice.
  • Zigwee It strikes me as so funny that she asked to be invited just to check out your stuff - and then expected you to deliver it? No way. Edited for typo.
  • OP spicycrybaby69 I should have just quoted her a price.
  • Snug_The_Cat NTA this woman is clearly just trying to use you.
  • eowynsheiress This person is unbelievably rude. If you don't have table chairs, plates, and glasses, you cannot host. Period. Borrowing one small item or a folding table is one thing. To borrow an entire kitchen and dining room is another, unspeakably rude thing. Please block this person with alacrity and move on without a second thought! Clearly you are NTA.

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