Mom demands son applies for visitation rights with 14-year-old brother, he refuses due to his brother's dad: 'My gut is telling me that I don’t want to'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 14, 2025 12:00 PM EST
a teenage boy stands above another teenage boy outside in the mountains

Putting family first isn't always easy.

Many would argue that it should be the simplest decision in the world to prioritize your close relatives, but real life proves time and again that circumstances can make that difficult in a way that is going to make things turn out worse for everyone. There are plenty of people out there who do not get the privilege of a secure family unit, which can often make it more complicated to do what every single family member wants when it comes to the hard decisions. It isn't a pleasant position to be in.

What is even more difficult is that some people are expected to make these difficult choices at a fairly young age, further complicating the already complicated phases of adolescence and young adulthood. When this happens, the most important thing is that a young person makes sure that their voice and opinion is heard.

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  • a pay phone and a water fountain behind a locked barred gate
    via Roger Starnes Sr

  • In this story, a teenager felt stressed as his mom had asked him to apply for visitation rights with his younger brother once he turned 18. She was currently incarcerated, and wanted to make sure that her kids were able to spend time together.

    While the older son loved his brother, he felt unsure about making this move due to his brother's father, who had never had a good relationship with him or his mother. Living with his mom's boyfriend, his brother already visited occasionally as well. He looked to others for advice.

  • WIBTA if I said I didn’t want visitation rights for my brother?

    Trying to make a long story short, my brother (14)'s dad hates me (17) and my mom.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • My mom had ended up with weekend supervised (by her boyfriend) visitation rights, and now she's incarcerated for the next 3-5 years for something she did in her past.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • However, my legal guardian is her boyfriend and we still get him some weekends when he's not busy with extracurriculars.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • Recently, she's started saying she wants me to apply for visitation rights when I turn 18 in 5 months.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • My mom is basically a saint, she had me at 17 and has always done what's best for me and my brother.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • a man in a black crew neck shirt shouting
    via Tycho Atsma

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She would never want me to trouble myself, even when I didn't see it as a bother.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • That's why I know this wouldn't be that big of a deal. I'm currently repeating junior year so it's not like I would be transitioning into college, but being held back was like a wake up call for me to actually apply myself and now I really want to get into college.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • My heart and brain are telling me it wouldn't be a problem and would end up positive, but my gut is telling me that I really don't want to.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • I haven't seen his father in like over 8 years, so I don't know if he'd actually give me a hard time if I went through the court.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • I love my brother a lot and I know he loves being with us on the weekends he can come, but I really have a bad feeling about going. through this.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • The me from 6 months ago would probably say she'd do it without hesitation, but now I feel really selfish and guilty about not wanting to do it.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • Would I be an asshole? Sorry for the word vomit.
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • a teenage boy stands above another teenage boy outside in the mountains
    via Ernest Malimon

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Serious-Room-4366 Do you need to have visitation rights to take him to see her?
    via Serious-Room-4366
  • OP Reasonable_Abroad167 I actually don't know, I hadn't thought of that but that's probably the reason why
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • Archaic-Giraffe I am not sure that you would be allowed visitation rights since your mom is not living with you. But if that's a possibility, you have to decide if you want to remain close with your brother or if you want to let him go. If you choose not to continue seeing him, he may feel abandoned and you may lose him forever. Not to rain on your parade, but if she had always done what was best for you, she wouldn't be in prison now.
    via Archaic-Giraffe
  • OP Reasonable_Abroad167 That's the thing, if it were that I wouldn't be able to see him without it then I would do it no hesitation, but my mom still has court ordered visitation and (idk how this works) he still comes over on weekends. I don't see this changing when I turn 18, so that's why I feel like it's not something I have to do but don't know if it would be wrong for me to say no I know it looks bad from an outside perspective, but the reason behind her "crime" was to be able to provide f
    via Reasonable_Abroad167
  • Sometimes-Demure Do you have a legal advocate you can speak with? I feel like there are details missing.
    via Sometimes-Demure

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family drama visitation brother dad family reddit thread Reddit wibta mom prison custody
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