Mom pressures teen daughters to give up extracurriculars their dad pays for, since she can't afford the same for her stepkids, daughters refuse: ‘I stopped going to her house’

As a rule of thumb, parents should encourage their kids to explore their interests, try different hobbies, and find out what they enjoy doing, rather than bring them down. Unfortunately, many parents fail to follow this basic parenting pro tip, and for many reasons, end up suppressing their kids and their creativity, curiosity, and fascination with the world. 

The reason the mom in the story below is trying to do just that is because she can't afford to pay for the same extracurricular activities for her stepchildren. She claims it isn't fair that her two teen daughters go to dance, photography, and art classes that their dad pays for, while their stepsiblings can't do the same. So instead of encouraging the kids who can afford to explore the world, she prefers that none of them do.

Luckily, the two teen daughters know how to stand for themselves and refuse to let their mother bring them down. Even if it means living with their dad full-time, they would rather do that than let their mom crush their dreams.

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut Bar Mor Hazut
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  • 01
    IP
    via Karola G

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • 02

    AITAH for telling my mom I won't change my mind about going to her house when she just wants to take from me and my sister for her other kids?

    My parents got divorced over 10 years ago and me (16) and my sister (15) would spend a week at a time at each house.
    via Kordrry
  • 03
    My dad has more money than mom. And he always paid for more stuff because of it.
    via Kordrry
  • 04
    Every activity we did he paid for. He was the parent we had to go to for field trip money and other things like that too.
    via Kordrry
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  • 05
    Mom never minded us doing the activities we liked or going on every field trip before she got married again.
    via Kordrry
  • 06
    But after it became a huge problem. I was 9 when she got married again and her husband had three kids from his other marriage.
    via Kordrry
  • 07
    They just live with him and my mom so I don't think they know much about their mom.
    via Kordrry
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  • 08
    But once my mom married him it was suddenly a huge problem that we had the activities we did when her stepkids couldn't do them too or they couldn't do what they wanted.
    via Kordrry
  • 09
    Her stepkids were so jealous of us and we'd fight about it. Mom tried. to make dad take us out of our activities but dad said no and they talked to a judge dozens of times because mom kept insisting we had to be taken out of classes.
    via Kordrry
  • 10
    Then she started complaining about us going on every field trip. Mom tried to pressure us to change activities because once her stepkids started doing free activities, there was jealousy because my sister's dance classes and my art classes were talked about more by family.
    via Kordrry
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  • 11
    didn't want to give up art and photography. My sister didn't want to stop dance.
    via Kordrry
  • 12
    She's trying to make a career out of it which mom knows but it also annoys her more because one of her stepkids has that wish too but they can't afford it.
    via Kordrry
  • 13
    It got worse when my half sisters were born. Mom kept trying to force dad's hand on activities and she would ask us every time we went to her house to sacrifice for the sake of her stepkids feelings and/or for the sake of family harmony.
    via Kordrry
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  • 14
    It's one of the reasons I never called mom's husband my stepdad. He's complained about it a lot too but he's easier to ignore.
    via Kordrry
  • 15
    Mom isn't. It's why I say her stepkids instead of my stepsiblings. These people don't add good to my life they just made it more complicated and I don't like having them around.
    via Kordrry
  • 16
    Mom hasn't been a good addition to my life either but that hurts because I still love her and she frustrates me.
    via Kordrry
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  • 17
    But she doesn't listen to me or my sister. She gets mad at us for telling her we don't like it when she expects us to give up on stuff for her other kids.
    via Kordrry
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10576860416
    via Karola G

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    She even told my sister to stop being selfish when she told her the way she keeps putting that kind of pressure on us makes it feel like she cares more about her stepkids than us.
    via Kordrry
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  • 20
    None of it was good and we were fighting people at her house all the time so I just stopped going, after checking with my dad.
    via Kordrry
  • 21
    The way my parents custody papers are worded says that at 16 we can choose a full time house between mom or dad.
    via Kordrry
  • 22
    So that's what I decided to do. My sister understands because I was fighting mom and her stepkids more than she was and who knows what could happen if we just kept fighting like that.
    via Kordrry
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  • 23
    My mom lost her shit when my sister showed up without me for her parenting time and every time since she does the same.
    via Kordrry
  • 24
    My mom told me we need to sit down and talk about it but I refused and I told her she's not changing my mind.
    via Kordrry
  • 25
    She told me she doesn't understand and I need to spend time with her and the rest of my family.
    via Kordrry
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  • 26
    I told her I don't and it's the rest of her family, not mind and that she made it that way.
    via Kordrry
  • 27
    She told me I should change my mind and I said I won't because she keeps trying to take from me and my sister for her stepkids' sake and I'm done and I'm tired of fighting about it and I just want them all to go away and leave me alone.
    via Kordrry
  • 28
    Mom told me my reasons were selfish and that I have acted selfish throughout this because I didn't care about anyone else's feelings.
    via Kordrry
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  • Do you think this fight is justified, or does Mom have a point in wanting all her kids to have equal opportunities?

    Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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family drama aita photography kids classes mother siblings stepchild parenting family sister dance daughter money women parents children Father
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