‘Food is love. And James and Erica have never loved [me]’: 17-year-old refuses to meal prep for his estranged older brother’s family despite pressure from parents who always played favorites

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Nov 23, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Born when his older brother was already 11 years old, this youngest sibling was always treated like a mistake. Made fun of, pushed around, and regarded as a second-rate citizen by his family, he grew a tough skin when it came to relative relationships, especially with his Golden Child older brother. So when the parents insisted the youngest sibling start meal prepping for the oldest brother in a time of need, the younger brother decided to give him a taste of his own medicine, ignoring him and refusing to extend a helping hand. 

Sometimes, sibling relationships are quite complicated. Envying the close friendships of other siblings around them, estranged siblings often wonder why they're not buddies with their brother or sister. Then, once the holidays roll around again, it's suddenly very clear why they were estranged in the first place. 

Although we can't choose our family, we can choose how to treat them. And after years of neglect and mistreatment, it's no surprise when a family member lashes out in response. You reap what you sow, and when it comes to family matters, there's no outrunning the inevitable consequences of mean behavior. 

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  • Young man cooking in the kitchen
    via Africa Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for refusing to help my brother and SIL while they're struggling by meal prepping a few meals a week for them and their kids?
    via Thesooo
  • I (17m) have an older brother "James" (28m) who's married to "Erica" and has three kids with another on the way. Me and James don't have a relationship. I feel like he resents me for being born or like I stole our parents from him or
    via Thesooo
  • stole our parents from him or something because he was always a huge jerk to me. I'm talking putting stuff where I couldn't reach them when I was little, locking me in my room because he could and
    via Thesooo
  • dropping me off at the neighbors house when he agreed to babysit and was getting paid for it me so our parents could go out. When James met Erica she was a jerk to me too. She made fun of the
    via Thesooo
  • walk I talk because of my stutter and she ignored me unless our parents were there. For a while my parents and James had a bad relationship because of how he (and Erica later) treated me. But they made up and
    via Thesooo
  • became close again and stayed close even when he didn't invite me to his wedding. He/they ignore my birthdays, they ignore me at Christmas, they never invite me to parties they throw and
    via Thesooo
  • it's not an age thing because kids younger than me get invited. It's all a me thing. I asked James why he hates me and he ignored me and when I tried to push him to answer he laughed in my face and told me to get away from him.
    via Thesooo
  • James and Erica have their three kids, who I don't know btw, and they've another on the way. Erica's had a rough pregnancy and my parents help keep their house clean and stuff on weekends and they have sent them money. But my parents don't really cook much.
    via Thesooo
  • Happy elderly couple posing for a portrait
    via Africa Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • And I cook usually on Sundays and meal prep lunches for school and other stuff. I pay for the ingredients I use because I don't really like the stuff mom and dad sometimes buy and it's sometimes because we/they mostly eat takeout for dinner.
    via Thesooo
  • James started asking for food so Erica and him didn't need to worry about that so much. My parents said I should do it since I meal prep already and James said it would be perfect. My parents said to use the
    via Thesooo
  • stuff they buy and meal prep for James' family but I told them I won't put my time into making food for people who treat me like shit. My parents said they're still our family and James was like wtf why are you okay with hurting my family when our parents told him.
    via Thesooo
  • My parents said they were very disappointed in me and this was the chance to build some bridges. AITAH?
    via Thesooo
  • BothTreacle7534. nta its not the victims job to try to start building bridges... Something your parents have to know already
    via BothTreacle7534
  • SassyCatLady442 Nta. Nope. You don't need to meal prep for strangers.
    via SassyCatLady442
  • Lanky_Translator8968 LOL food is love, OP. And James and Erica have never loved you. Tell your parents that it's not your job to "build bridges" with an adult who burnt them, repeatedly, on purpose, for the last two decades.
    via Lanky_Translator8968
  • You are 17. He is 28 and apparently breeding like a rabbit, hence knows where babies come from. Feel free to keep your distance and allow him to experience the full consequences of his choices and actions. That's the only way he's ever going to learn.
    via Lanky_Translator8968
  • Maybe stop doing your meal prep when your folks are around, OP? Maximize the hours you spend out of the house, either crushing school or working and saving money. And
    via Lanky_Translator8968
  • start looking now for your next home, 'cause after your refusal, James is going to want to lean on your folks to kick you out. NTAH but get really serious about your launch plan, OP
    via Lanky_Translator8968
  • Upbeat Selection357 How come the "still our family" doesn't apply to him? Why aren't they disappointed in him for the way he treats you?
    via Upbeat Selection357
  • ParticularRich484 You don't even know these "people". Bro or not, my answer would be NO. Remind your parents that they don't even like you. No way in hell would I do that for people like that. Not your monkeys-not your circus
    via ParticularRich484

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