Helicopter-mother demands that her sister let her sheltered teen daughter, Emily, move into her spare bedroom as a "practice dorm" for the 8 months before college, niece begs aunt to refuse, sparking family tension: 'Not giving Emily a safe transition'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 20, 2025 7:00 AM EST

A student's first dormitory could be considered the door into young adulthood. It's the place where we learn to cook, clean, enter, and leave by ourselves, with no one giving us a step-by-step instructions manual. We no longer have to inform our parents of our every move, and much like Lady Liberty, it is a symbol of experiencing freedom for the very first time. But that's exactly the point, dorms are the teacher. There is no need to fully prepare beforehand! 

This helicopter-mother has always analyzed her daughter's every move, not allowing her much room to breathe. She was raised extremely sheltered, so getting accepted to her dream college (miles away from her mother's grip) felt like a massive weight lifted from her shoulders. In just 8 months, she would be living alone, independent, and free to do whatever she pleases. Something unfamiliar to her. However, to her surprise, she soon discovered that her mother had contacted her aunt, demanding that she go stay in her spare room. As a "practice dorm", or so she calls it…a way of practicing living away from home before actually needing to do so. No offense to this mother, but what adult would want to be responsible for someone else's 17-year-old teenager, sister or not!?

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  • Even this woman's niece begged her not to let her move in, clearly not ready to leave home yet. This mother's intentions are not abundantly clear, but something tells us that she wants to keep an eye on her daughter from a distance before she officially leaves for college in 8 months. However, she can keep an eye on her from the kitchen… She doesn't need to make her move out of her own house as a preparation lesson! 

  • Teenage texting while lying on her bed
    via halfpoint

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITJ for refusing to give my niece a “practice dorm” in my house?

    I (34F) bought my house three years ago after saving for a decade. It's a small but cozy two-bedroom, perfect for me and my quiet lifestyle.
    via Optimal_Leather9084
  • My sister (39F) is a single mom to my niece, Emily (17F). Emily is a great kid, smart, gets good grades, but she's extremely sheltered.
    via Optimal_Leather9084
  • My sister never lets her go out, never lets her stay over with friends, and basically watches her like a hawk.
    via Optimal_Leather9084
  • Recently, Emily got accepted to a university one hour from us. My sister freaked out and started insisting that Emily "practice living away from home" before she moves to the dorms.
    via Optimal_Leather9084
  • Fair enough... until she said: "She should move into your second bedroom for the next 6-8 months." I laughed because I thought she was joking.
    via Optimal_Leather9084
  • She wasn't. I told her I love Emily but I'm not turning my home into a rehearsal dorm.
    via Optimal_Leather9084
  • Woman opening up her curtain in a bright bedroom
    via alemedia

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I work early mornings, value my privacy, and frankly, I don't want to be responsible for someone else's teenager.
    via Optimal_Leather9084
  • My sister got angry and accused me of being "selfish" for not giving Emily a safe transition.
    via Optimal_Leather9084
  • She said, "You don't even use your guest room. Why can't you help family?" Emily texted later saying she didn't want to move in and begged me not to agree.
    via Optimal_Leather9084
  • Now my sister is telling our relatives I'm "abandoning my niece at a vulnerable time" and that I "care more about solitude than family." AITJ?
    via Optimal_Leather9084
  • Ok_Elephant1422 NTJ. Your sister doesn't want Emily to "practice independence." She wants to practice controlling her from a distance. Emily herself doesn't want it. Your house isn't free childcare, therapy, or a training simulation for her parenting issues.
    via Ok_Elephant1422
  • cherrikokie Sister is a helicopter parent and the niece will go no or little contact as soon as she can. NTJ but don't out the neice please.
    via cherrikokie
  • kimlobdell5775 If your niece needs to "practice living away from home, id be asking my sister why she failed as a parent so badly. NTJ, but your sister is.
    via kimlobdell5775
  • No-Shock-2055 NTJ. Hopefully Emily doesn't go to college and go wild and flunk out. A lot of kids who were held hostage by helicopter parents during their teenage years did terribly at handling independence at college. Your sister sounds nuts.
    via No-Shock-2055
  • Two woman talking with dramatic hand signals
    via gettyimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • CoDaDeyLove Plenty of sheltered teens go off to college without a "practice" dorm room. They learn fast. Stick to your guns and don't agree to let her move in.
    via CoDaDeyLove
  • Remarkable-Code-3237 Tell sis that she can practice at her home just as easily. Have niece start doing everything herself. Put a small refrigerator and a microwave in her room. Have her take care of all her personal things including washing her clothes. Cut the apron strings and she can join friends on weekends.
    via Remarkable-Code-3237
  • petalsofrose1956 Oh let your sister say anything she wants. She sounds delulu. Emily will go away to school and never come home again.
    via petalsofrose1956
  • Aggravating Onion_52 NTJ. Tell her to get an AirBnB for Emily if she thinks it's such a huge deal, but your house is not for her to make decisions about.
    via Aggravating_Onion_52
  • Objective_Attempt_14 NTA, mom needs to start encouraging independence now. Fact is she's in more danger since so much independence will all be new. If she had she had some growing up, It would not only not be not as hard, but she would be more likely to make good decisions.
    via Objective_Attempt_14
  • South Hedgehog_7564 You and Emily should really face out your sister. Tell her that neither of you wants this situation but stress that Emily is always welcome at your house if she wants/needs to stay over but that she wants/needs to move into the form with everyone else. Faced with united opposition from you both I imagine | she'll cave.
    via South_Hedgehog_7564
  • BrinaGu3 NTJ. Dorms are 'practice apartments'. There is an RA on every floor. There are additional supports available to students. Mom needs to stop hovering
    via BrinaGu3
  • SmurfettiBolognese And her keeping Emily under the thumb was not selfish at all? NTJ
    via SmurfettiBolognese

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prepared responsibility supervise family drama drama sisters teenagers siblings moving in niece dorms guest-bedroom entitled family college helicopter parent entitled people
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