Childfree man refuses to give up a full day of his vacation in Florida to babysit his siblings’ three kids so the couples can have a “double-date day,” sparking family drama: '[She said] if I have no plans, there’s no reason I can’t watch the kids'

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    Young father swimming with his son in the pool
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    AITA for refusing to babysit during vacation, even though I have no other plans?

    Throwaway acct for obvious reasons My family owns a small vacation house in Florida and the whole family spends a week there every other year.
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    This year's trip is coming up in 3 weeks. The people coming are my brother (32M), his wife, and their 2 kids (8M and 5F); my sister (26F), her husband, and their kid (4M); and me (28M, single and childfree).
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    We're each paying our own way. The other day, my sister called and told me that she and brother had planned a "couples day" with their spouses in the middle of the week.
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    The idea was that the 2 couples would spend the day on the water and then go to a nice restaurant for dinner.
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    She asked if I could watch the kids during this time. I said no. She thought I was joking until I doubled down, and then she got audibly annoyed.
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    She kept asking why not, why can't help out this one time, why am I being so selfish.
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    Look, I like my nephews and niece, and they're good kids. But I'm not a "kid person".
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    Three children swimming in the pool with googles
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    I've babysat them before, and hated it, even though I love them. I don't want to spend vacation babysitting, even if it's only for one day (and it would be the whole day).
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    She asked what other plans I had that day, and I said none. That made her mad, and she kept saying that if I have no plans, there's no reason I can't watch the kids.
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    I said I would spend the day enjoying myself, whatever I ended up doing, and it wouldn't involve kids.
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    She got so mad she hung up on me, but she and brother have both been texting asking me to change my mind.
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    In the past, my parents have watched the kids while the couples have a date night, but they're not able to come to vacation this year.
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    I feel like it's not my responsibility to watch their kids, and I have a right to say no, but that I also might be an asshole for refusing to help this one time.
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    Dajmibuzi_dzieki I agree, this would be incredibly hurtful to be excluded by my sibling this way. It's not even like OP is a significantly younger or older to the point they wouldn't enjoy the same activities. If OP had a significant other, but no kids, would they be invited to activities? Or would they both be expected to baby-sit still?
    via Dajmibuzi_dzieki
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    OP Agitated-Major6028 I'm willing to bet that if I had partner then we'd still be excluded and expected to watch their kids. I get the impression that "couples day" was a convenient way to frame "day away from the kids”
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    Two couples walking on the beach
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    Necessary-Fly-1095 NTA. And I'm saying this as a mother of two small children. Even if you haven't made any plans, it's your vacation, and you can spend the day doing literally nothing. I get wanting a date night (with kids those become a luxury), but you can't force or guilt people into babysitting for you. I just have one question - you're young and single, so why tf do you want to spend your vacation with them, knowing that they will try to gang up on you and make you change your mind?
    via Necessary-Fly-1095
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    OP Agitated-Major6028 Honestly, good question. Many of these comments are making me realize this vacation wouldn't be much fun even if I wasn't expected to babysit
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    IHaveBoxerDogs NTA, but the entire vacation sounds like it won't be fun for a single guy.
    via IHaveBoxerDogs
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    OP Agitated-Major6028 Honestly, you're right. I love my family, but if my parents won't be there, I don't know that I even want to go on this trip. It'll mostly revolve around the kids, and I prefer hanging out with my siblings as just adults. Time to plan a solo hiking trip, maybe
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    Viola-Swamp Do they always group themselves together and "other" you? My husband's siblings are older than him, and are very much a unit while he is the outsider, the afterthought, the one left out. This makes it seem like you have that dynamic too, and it's not worth wasting your PTO to spend time with people who treat you like a hanger on in what is supposed to be your own family. Plan a different vacation for yourself, maybe with friends.
    via Viola-Swamp
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    OP Agitated-Major6028 That's the thing, they usually don't. That's why I wanted to go on this trip in the first place. But if this is how it's gonna be, I think I'll just sit this one out. I think me being "other" than them (no kids) was really only brought into the equation so they could have some pretense to leave the kiddos with me to have their own time
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    Still-Song-2258 Why would you waste your vacation days going with your siblings and their kids?
    via Still-Song-2258
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    OP Agitated-Major6028 Good question. As I responded to another comment, these comments are making me realize this vacation would not be fun even if I wasn't expected to babysit. It'll probably be entirely kid focused. I'd rather spend my vacation doing anything else
    via Agitated-Major6028
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    NTA AdorableStress7951 It's honestly wild how some people who are coupled up and/or have kids treat single people as expendables in their lives for not being at the same life stage. I'm so curious about how this line of thinking originates because this isn't uncommon, even going past free babysitting, and just being excluded more socially in general.
    via AdorableStress7951

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