New employee refuses to contribute to a coworker-run “social fund” after coworker repeatedly dodges her requests for a simple spending breakdown, tension rises as coworkers label her stingy: 'Nobody else needs this level of detail'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Dec 2, 2025 11:00 PM EST

If anyone is asking you for a 'donation', you have a right to know where every last cent is going. Whether that's a "mission" for the collector or not. And if they refuse to provide you with a payment breakdown…you have every right to decline the invitation to donate. Now, some people may label you stingy while you place your hand up against the envelope in refusal. But again, if you do not know where your money is going, how does one know it's truly being used for good…and not to pay for some rich man's fifth vacation this year…Well, the fact is, you'll never know unless you demand to, and that's exactly what this employee did!

After being fairly new to the company, and already participating in the coworker-run "social fund", this employee was eager to get her budgeting underway, and in addition, wanted to know exactly where and how her work donations were being used…But when she asked the fund's collector to send her a breakdown of the transactions, he avoided the question as if it were the plague, constantly changing the subject. Whilst somehow still having the nerve to ask her for this month's donations. Just because he had a calculating smile spread across his face, did not mean that she was not on to him…and whatever little scheme he had running. 

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  • Her coworkers labelled her as selfish, unwilling to contribute to the office…The thing is, she was quite happy to contribute; she just wanted to know what the money would be spent on. Is that a fair enough ask, or is she starting off her new job in an untrustworthy and demanding light? 

  • Two coworkers having a conversation outside the office
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  • AITA for refusing to cover a shared cost after my coworker wouldn’t show me the break of what the money had gone towards so far?

    I (24F) recently started my first full time job after graduating. My company has an optional team social fund where each member of our small department contributes a set amount every month to cover birthday treats, team lunches, and small surprises.
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  • It sounded harmless, so I joined when my coworker Liam asked. He manages the fund and everyone just sends him their contribution directly.
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  • Not that i suspected anything but last month, I asked if he could give me a breakdown of what the money had gone towards so far, because I'm trying to be better about tracking my spending.
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  • My mom drilled into me that I should always know where my money is going. He said, Yeah, I'll get it to you later.
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  • He didn't. Few days later, he didn't send anything but he reminded me that my monthly contribution was due.
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  • Individuals exchanging cash
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  • I asked politely for the breakdown again. No reply. I waited a few days and sent a follow up, nothing.
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  • He responds to other messages in the work group chat, but mine about the fund get ignored.
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  • Last week he came to my desk and said, Hey, you still haven't sent your part for the fund this month.
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  • I told him I'd be happy to once I got the breakdown I'd asked for, nothing complicated, just a list of what's been purchased with everyone's contributions.
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  • His whole demeanor shifted. He sighed loudly and said, Nobody else needs this level of detail.
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  • It's supposed to be casual. You're making it weird. I told him it wasn't personal, it's just my budget and my comfort.
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  • He walked away mid sentence. Now a couple coworkers have hinted that I'm overthinking everything and making extra work for Liam.
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  • One even said I was being stingy for not just paying like everyone else. I'm starting to feel guilty, but it also seems like a basic thing to ask when I'm handing over money every month.
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  • Team of colleagues high-fiving
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  • AITA for refusing to contribute again until he shows me what the fund is actually being spent on?
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  • Professional_Copy517 HARD NTA If it was an innocent situation like "oh. Ive never really tracked it, I'm sorry, if you don't want to participate this month that's okay" or, "oh i never thought to track it closely But i probably should track it anyway, I'll start and you can see it next month" he would not have reacted that way. No one flies to unhinged nonsense unless they're trying to cover something up by deflecting/diverting attention from themselves. Except emotionally immature, entitled men
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  • OP Super-Ad-2617 Definitely not giving him my money
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  • ZookeepergameOk1833 Optional social fund. Sorry just started, not in my budget right now. Optional. End of discussion. NTA, but don't ask, just say no
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  • NTA. Scarletts Letters Liam's embezzling or at the least, mismanaging the fund. He's lashing out because you're about to end his gravy train.
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  • OP Super-Ad-2617 Thanks, i'll do just that
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  • Remarkable-Manager56 It seems like her colleagues are more willing to pressure her into contributing than asking Liam about the spendings.
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  • perpetuallyxhausted INFO: What's the amount that they're asking you to contribute? If it's like $5 I'd say you might be doing too much but if it's like $50 a month then your stance is fair. Also, how many people in the office contribute?
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  • Cryanbutcher Something is telling me they're asking for like $5 a month from each person which is why you're not answering how much..... if that's the case, YTA. Liam's organizing, coordinating and executing, just say no to begin with.
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  • Disastrous-Bet757 If he's got the time to know who hasn't paid, he's got the time to put all of the income and expenses into a spreadsheet. NTA
    via Disastrous-Bet757

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coworkers finances social-fund workplace breakdown payment
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