17-year-old adopted son discovers parents set up college fund for 14-year-old sister, but not for him, he confronts them after they refuse to talk to guidance counselor: ‘That's none of your business’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Dec 2, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Choosing to adopt a child is a huge decision that cannot be taken lightly. As soon as adoptive parents sign the papers, and the second they are handed a baby, that child is theirs. That baby is their kid, and they are the parents: No inbetweens, and no takebacks. 

While you can't force parents to love their adopted children, you can't really call them good parents if they don't. A child is a child, and they deserve to be loved, no matter how they joined the family.

When the parent in the story below pretty much abandoned their adopted son when they discovered they were going to have a biological daughter, it became clear that they would never be good parents. Parents who favor one child over the other after they were the ones who decided to adopt, must be judged and put in their place.

The one who did it was their adopted son, who decided to confront them after discovering they set up a huge college fund for his younger sister, but not for him…

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  • AITAH for asking my adoptive parents if they have a college fund for me like they have for my sister?

    I (17m) was adopted as an infant. My parents were in their late 30s and had tried to have bio kids for years.
    via Kellixtry
  • Teen Boy Alone, Title: "I have four parents who don't want me"
    via LindaYolanda

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It didn't happen for them for more than a decade so they looked at infant adoption.
    via Kellixtry
  • My birth parents chose them to be my parents. My parents were present at my birth and my adoptive mom held my birth mom's hand as I was born.
    via Kellixtry
  • Then I went home with my adoptive parents and the rest was history. Three years after they adopted me, my parents found out my adoptive mom was pregnant with my sister (14f).
    via Kellixtry
  • I don't know if the treated me different after that or if they were always a little less in love with me than some adopted kids get.
    via Kellixtry
  • But I always felt that my sister was the clear favorite and their real child. My parents adore her.
    via Kellixtry
  • They spoil her. She got all the cute nicknames like little sweetheart, baby star to list a couple of them.
    via Kellixtry
  • They were also really obsessed with how much she looked like a perfect mix of the two of them.
    via Kellixtry
  • Mom's eye color and nose, dad's hair color and round face and other features. A few of my cousins used to rub it in real good that my parents had their real kid now and if they could send me back they would.
    via Kellixtry
  • My family knew the said it but nobody ever seemed to care very much. I didn't get cuddles and kisses like my sister, didn't get the quality time with each of my parents like she did, didn't get crazy spoiled like her either.
    via Kellixtry
  • They didn't completely ignore me and I did get gifts. But they spent less on me and bought less for me too.
    via Kellixtry
  • Maybe it was the fact I'm a guy and she's a girl idk. I told my parents a few times that I felt left out and they didn't change anything or acknowledge it was true or not true.
    via Kellixtry
  • It was just like oh and then they moved on. My sister noticed the difference and she'd make fun of it.
    via Kellixtry
  • She used to say she wished she had a real sibling and not a fake one.
    via Kellixtry
  • Or how our cousins were her real family and not me. A year ago | found out my parents had a huge college fund for my sister.
    via Kellixtry
  • They were talking to my aunt (mom's sister) about it and how they had invested from a few things and taken from their savings for it.
    via Kellixtry
  • They never mentioned having one for me which stung and I thought about it a lot.
    via Kellixtry
  • Cheezburger Image 10581740800
    via cottonbro studio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I got asked in school if I had money or would I get help from my parents for college and I never knew what to say.
    via Kellixtry
  • I told them I didn't think so and then financial aid was discussed. I reached out to my birth parents a few months ago too (my parents gave me their names and info they had) and they don't want a relationship with me.
    via Kellixtry
  • My parents said they expected as much but figured it wasn't their place to say. They didn't comfort me or anything and my sister said I had four parents who didn't want me so I must be broken.
    via Kellixtry
  • Two weeks ago my parents asked me to speak to my guidance counselor about how busy they are and tell her she should talk college stuff with me and not them.
    via Kellixtry
  • I figured she wanted to find out about the money and that's why she wanted to talk to them.
    via Kellixtry
  • It got to me and I asked them if they had a college fund for me like they have for my sister.
    via Kellixtry
  • They asked me how I knew about it and got mad at me for asking the question.
    via Kellixtry
  • I asked them why they'd make sure she has one but not me when I'll be going to college first and they asked me why I was asking questions that are none of my business.
    via Kellixtry
  • It made me feel like shit and since that day there's a whole lot of tension in the house and my sister is rubbing it in that she gets a college fund and I don't.
    via Kellixtry
  • My parents never said either way but not saying anything is basically an answer, right? AITAH?
    via Kellixtry
  • ShapeShifterPlayz NTAH it is 100% your business whether or not you have a college fund and the fact that your parents are trying to tell you it's not is frankly quite bizarre. Whether they do or don't could drastically impact your life. They chose to be your parents the moment you were born. They don't get to just back out of important responsibilities that come with having a kid just because they had another one and I'm so sorry that they're enabling the behavior from your sister and cousins.
    via ShapeShifterPlayz
  • OP Kellixtry It is weird but I think it's another way for them to not outright reject me as their son but to not answer the question either. So instead of saying yes or no they say it's none of my business which kinda felt worse.
    via Kellixtry
  • ShapeShifterPlayz I hope you know that they have no right to be treating you that way. I hope you have some great friends in your life who bring you the warmth that your family doesn't <3
    via ShapeShifterPlayz
  • OP Kellixtry I have two really good friends who make me feel like that. Sometimes I still get insecure about our friendship but I struggle maybe a little less to fit with them.
    via Kellixtry
  • Neither Teaching_438 I am very sorry, OP. I wish you had been given to better people. Please try to not let all this have an impact on you. And try to be independent as soon as possible so that you won't have to spend one more hour in the presence of this family of assholes.
    via Neither_Teaching_438
  • OP Kellixtry It already has. I'm really insecure and struggle to feel like I fit anywhere because I feel like I don't. Being rejected by my birth parents only made it worse.
    via Kellixtry
  • coldcanyon1633 Do you have extended family you could reach out to? You mentioned cousins, could your aunts and uncles help you? Even if they can't, telling them about your situation and asking for their help will certainly shame your pos parents which is what they deserve.
    via coldcanyon1633
  • OP Kellixtry I won't get support. The adults in my family all knew how I was treated by my cousins and said nothing. I don't think it'll change because it's my parents being like this. If they cared they'd have defended me back then.
    via Kellixtry

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Tags

family drama aita adoption kids brother mother siblings college fund parenting adopted family sister college parents children Father
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