Son writes a poem about his late mom for school, then discovers his teacher sent it to his stepmom thinking it's about her, stepmom demands he apologize: ‘She got her hopes up’

Advertisement
  • AITAH telling my stepmother it was never my job to apologize or make up for the assumptions of others?

    This argument happened three weeks ago. But the things we argued about happened years ago. I (22m) feel like it's unreasonable to expect me to apologize for the actions and assumptions of others but she feels like I humiliated her.
  • Tired Boy in a Hoodie Doing His Homework
  • My mom di d when I was 6. My parents were separated and I lived primary with mv mom.
  • My dad was already engaged to my stepmother when my mom di d. They lived together and I moved in with the two of them for the first time.
  • I spent some weekends at my dad's house before that and had met my stepmother twice before my mom di d.
  • She introduced herself as my mom to most people she met once her and dad were married.
  • I always used her first name and didn't call her mom or get close to her.
  • At school I was open about my mom d ing. I never called my dad and stepmother my parents.
  • But when I was 8 my teacher reached out to my stepmother and sent her a Mother's Day essay | wrote for my mom assuming that I wrote it for her (stepmother).
  • My teacher was basically saying she had to send it to her because it was so heartfelt and sweet.
  • My stepmother got her hopes up and had them crushed when she read what I wrote and realized it wasn't for her.
  • It happened a second time in high school when I was 15. Personally I think this one was handled even worse but whatever.
  • My teacher graded a poem I wrote for my mom really well and wanted me to read it in front of my English class.
  • I think this was supposed to be a part of my speech help because I had an IEP for speech issues and she was looking for an excuse for me to practice reading out loud.
  • My English teacher emailed my stepmother and asked if she could come into school and set it up for them to listen to me reading it.
  • The whole thing proved my English teacher never even read the poem because she also assumed it was about my stepmother and had her show up to listen to the poem I wrote for my mom.
  • Since I mentioned losing my mom in the poem it did click within a couple of lines but my stepmother took that one even worse than the first, probably because she was dragged to school to listen to me read it.
  • I also think it's just really weird to do and it wasn't discussed with me at all.
  • Woman Reading Letter
  • I didn't know about either of those things when they happened. I found out when I was 16.
  • My stepmother was really hurt and discouraged by them and our relationship was never close but grew more tense after I found out.
  • Now the reason for that is clear. It's because she believed I owed her an apology for those two incidents and she believed I should have tried to make it up to her when I found out.
  • While I take zero responsibility for those things because I didn't invite her or send them to her pretending they were for her.
  • She's the one who introduced herself as my mother. My teacher's are the ones who assumed despite me saying my mom was dad.
  • My stepmother went from upset to angry when she realized I didn't feel responsible and didn't feel I owed her any apology, etc.
  • She said she was humiliated twice and made to feel like she wasn't good enough for me repeatedly and I can't even try to make it up to her when what I wrote caused all this.
  • We haven't talked since the argument and I'm fine with that. My dad is not. He wants us to talk it out but I have nothing more to add.
  • NaturesVividPictures NTA. All I can say is you have some teachers of that obviously don't read or understand what they're reading so they shouldn't be teachers. But they're the ones who cause the problems by inviting her to be there the witness you reading it the second time and sending it to her the first time. Yeah you didn't cause the issue of them being out in public and feeling the way they did. The only thing you did was write it you didn't purposely give it to them or share it with them
  • OP Cobidair Yeah, it was crazy to me to realize all the praise those two assignments got and they clearly didn't read them correctly or at all. If the had they would've known the were not about living people.
  • AccomplishedCow665 Your stepmom, a grown woman, is demanding apologies for your grieving behaviour and two incidents at 6 and 16. When you were a child and well, still a child. Instead of opening lines of communication and helping you understand how to grieve, she's made it about her. She, and your dad, can get fucked. Sorry for your loss.
  • Doctor Whofan789eywim The main AHs in this story are the teachers.
  • NTA Odd-End-1405 It has been years and she is still whining about something teachers did back then? It was her own damn fault for misrepresenting herself to your teachers. Tell dad to talk to her as she is his problem. Maybe suggest therapy so she can learn to let it go.
  • Cybermagetx Nta. Teachers overstepped and refused to listen or read.
  • mimibelle1 Marjorie, I deeply apologise for the pain you suffered from the actions of the adults in my life when I was a child. You should never have been in that situation. I profoundly wish the adults had communicated our family dynamics better and taken the time to look at the works I produced before sending out erroneous invitations. It was very very painful for me as a 6 year old and as a 16 year old and I understand you were upset too

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article