15+ Mall Santas who couldn't stop laughing at kids' bizarre holiday requests: 'I don’t want toys. I want a receipt so I can return my brother'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Dec 2, 2025 11:00 AM EST

Kids say the funniest things… just ask these mall Santas, who have heard every sweet and silly holiday request you can imagine. 

Quick, pretend you're a mall Santa: if a kid asks you for "elves" this year, what would you reply? Some kids will ask for easy gifts, like the child who requested pickles for Christmas. Easy! But what do you say to the 3-year-old who wants to find one of Santa's elves in her stocking? I imagine these mall Santas have some pretty good stock answers, and I bet they get really good at improvising their answers on the spot! 

As kids, my siblings and I knew that mall Santas weren't actual Santa, because he was at the North Pole making our presents, and because Santa couldn't be at both our town's malls at once, as we worked out. However, that never stopped us from being wide-eyed with wonder at the jolly guy with the white beard, who let us sit on his knee and tell him what we wanted for the holidays this year. 

Mall Santas have to do a lot of interpreting: when a toddler demands a snake and a goat for Christmas, they probably do mean the real animal, but we all know they're going to find stuffed animals under the tree instead. At least the whole process can help parents get some good ideas for what to gift the kiddos! 

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  • 01

    'Mall Santas of Reddit, what's the funniest thing a kid asked for?'

    Laughing girl in red crown is handed gift by Santa Claus
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    G... I was a Santa for a neighborhood event at my grandparents' house. We weren't originally planning for a, "Tell Santa what you want," thing, as it was mostly supposed to be me giving gifts, yelling "Ho-ho- ho," etc. but one of the kids wanted to, so we ended up doing it. And one of my cousins who was three at the time sits and my lap and
    via u/Guardian-Boy
  • 03
    goes, "I want [my real name] here, I miss him." And she said it so sad. She was the last kid, so I just said, "Well then, let me go get him, how rude of him not to be here!" and left the house, immediately removed my Santa costume, texted my uncle to distract her for a minute, then snuck back in through the side door, crawled partially into my grandparents' fireplace
    via u/Guardian-Boy
  • 04
    (don't worry, it wasn't lit) and then started making noise and pretending like I just got dropped down the chimney. Never seen that kid so happy. She's 20 now and doesn't really remember it, but I do and she loves hearing me tell the story.
    via u/Guardian-Boy
  • 05
    ItsKay180 Somewhere on the internet there's a post about a kid asking santa for a cat leg. The mom had to step in and tell the horrified Santa they had a three legged cat.
    via u/ItsKay180
  • 06
    JPlikesstuff I was a mall Santa for one night in 2002 or 2003 and I had a 15-17 year old girl whisper to me that she wished for her acne to go away. I, of course, had no training and was a dumb 22 year old. I just told her it would go away on its own. I don't know if I traumatized her or helped her.
    via u/JPlikesstuff
  • 07
    Opening-Taro3385 One kid once climbed onto my lap, looked very serious, and said, 'I don't want toys. I want a receipt so I can return my brother.' I had to keep a straight face while the parents tried not to laugh.
    via u/Opening-Taro3385
  • 08
    mela_99 Just a witness to my own. My two year old asked for "bwead." He asked if he was sure he didn't want anything else. He paused and said "butter?"
    via u/mela_99
  • 09
    peachy-carnahan I was a pet store Santa Claus for a few years. Very low-tech, low production value, but it was fun, and I got to hug dogs and cats and occasionally their human siblings instead of hauling 40 and 50 pound bags of food and litter. Anyway, this one lady brought in her cockatoo and insisted that this bird sit on
    via u/peachy-carnahan
  • 10
    my head for the (Polaroid) photo. That was fine with me, but the bird wasn't having it, so it took like a half hour of me bobble- heading and this goofy lady. choreographing and yelling at the bird to sit still. Eventually got the photo. No idea if she paid extra for all the effort- I was just a kid who got paid by the hour.
    via u/peachy-carnahan
  • 11
    J... My kid always confuses Santa. First year his infant brother wanted a banana for Christmas and he wanted a "meatball toy" Santa looked at me and confirmed that's what he said...
    via u/Jaci_D
  • 12
    Last year was a "turtle blanket" This year he wants a "snowflake turtle" that was a fun one to figure out, he's getting a snow globe with a turtle in it.
    via u/Jaci_D
  • 13
    Adding: little brother who is three is currently on a rainbow snake kick. Every child in our family/friends is getting a 6' rainbow snake with 3 baby snakes in its belly. I can't even say no, it's so damn cute of him.
    via u/Jaci_D
  • 14
    Kennadian My nephew asked one for "a jar of pickles" at about 6 years old.
    via u/Kennadian
  • 15
    VaderBinks My kid saw Santa for the first time this year, and his answer was "Elves" Santa did not know how to reply lol
    via u/VaderBinks
  • 16
    Cigaran Not a mall Santa but did it a few years for a local preschool. "Ho ho ho, Jonny! What do you want for Christmas?" "Mario's Brother!" "Do you mean Mario Brothers?"
    via u/Cigaran
  • 17
    "No, I want Mario's older brother. All I have is an older sister and she's ' ;." I absolutely lost it. Took me a good five minutes to recover.
    via u/Cigaran
  • 18
    12345_PIZZA I'm just a dad, but one year my kid asked Santa for a forklift. When I told him that the forklift would take up a lot of room and that Santa may not be able to deliver other kid's presents my son said "Dad, he can use the forklift to carry them"
    via u/12345_PIZZA
  • 19
    StrongMamaBear When my daughter was three all she wanted was a chocolate donut. That's what she told Santa. Last year (she was 4) wanted a real unicorn. Not a toy. Actual unicorn
    via u/StrongMamaBear
  • 20
    A... I was at the ice cream shop looking at kids' letters to Santa that had been posted on the wall. One kid asked for a pair of rabbit fur underwear. I have no idea where that could have come from.
    via u/AggressiveMail5183
  • 21
    Santa Claus puts arm around blonde girl in Santa hat while showing her paper list, behind them is a candle-lit mantle and fireplace full of logs
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 22
    SGPaladin314 My niece asked for a princess cut diamond ring when she was 3, and then a credit card when she was 4.
    via u/SGPaladin314
  • 23
    No-Television-5853 Not a Santa, but an Elf! There was a kid yesterday who asked for two pence :) there are so many families that just rush in to get pictures with Santa and don't even let their children talk to him :(
    via u/No-Television-5853
  • 24
    I-wish-i-was-trans Not a mall santa but mall elf for santa last November to December, most of the people brought their dogs for pictures, when it came to kids they asked for your usual barbie dolls and hot wheels. Not funny but there was this one kid who asked for his parents to divorce and a new set of parents and a lot of siblings because
    via u/I-wish-i-was-trans
  • 25
    his parents were always fighting. Another kid asked for snake for a pet or was it a goat, the kid was around 7.
    via u/I-wish-i-was-trans
  • 26
    Curly-haired child shows list to Santa Claus, who points at it
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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mall gifts presents kids santa family santa claus holidays children
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