Family members expect stay-at-home parent to watch their newborn without asking them first: ‘You want me to give up my free time, but you won't?’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 4, 2025 6:00 PM EST

The holiday season uproots something in all of us; What is uprooted is dependent on a mixture of your nature and external stimuli that prompt you to unravel. Only family can manage to break us down in the way that they do, so it's only right that we at least let them know they are entitled, arrogant, and straight-up impolite.

When you have children (and you planned the pregnancy), it's crucial to do the math about living costs once your new bundle of joy is born into the world. If you don't, you will be blindsided by the cost of formula, diapers, and childcare—none of which are cheap in the slightest. Childcare is the most expensive of them all, especially if both parents of the child work full-time. Somebody has to watch them! This is not to say you should volunteer your stay-at-home parent family members to watch your baby without their consent. They will say no.

That's exactly what's happening in this next story, except the stay-at-home parent learns of their supposed nanny role through another family member at their Thanksgiving family dinner. Yeah. no. Scroll to read about the fallout. 

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  • 01
    woman in red and black plaid shirt holding a baby who is drinking milk from a bottle
    via Helena Lopes

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "AITAH for getting upset because family members assumed I'd be watching their newborn?"

    I am a stay at home parent. All of my children are finally in school. I now have the time to delve into my hobbies and learn some new things which i have been enjoying.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 03
    During Thanksgiving I overheard some family members talking about their new bundle of joy. They were asked about child care and unbeknownst to me they said I was going to watch the child.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 04
    They never even asked me! I looked at them and they just smiled. Like it was a privilege for me.I wasn't trying to make a scene at the holiday party so I didnt say anything just gave a look.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 05
    a group of people sitting around a table eating food on thanksgiving
    via Karolina Grabowska For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    I do not in any way shape or form want to do that. III watch the baby here and there but not everyday.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 07
    AITA? Edit: I 100% am having a private conversation with them. Which is what I would have wanted them to
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 08
    I can, and do stand up for myself. I was caught off guard and honestly pissed.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 09
    Didn't want to make everyone uncomfortable at dinner. I realize I could have simply said this or that, but it wouldn't have come out of my mouth very nice.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 10
    No, my husband didn't volunteer me. It's my sibling. UPDATE: I realized some of you were right.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 11
    I needed to tell them ASAP so they can plan actual daycare. I called him lastnight.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 12
    I calmly asked him if he really thought I would be watching his baby. He said yes because I was home all the time.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 13
    I asked him why he didnt ask me first and he said he didnt think he had to.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 14
    It really pissed me off. I said I have plenty to do and that if there is an emergency I will be there and help, but that I wasn't going to watch the baby everyday.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 15
    He then got pissed and said they planned for me to and now they have no idea how they will afford childcare.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 16
    (This baby was planned i should add) He is upset because he also needs to workout for 2 hours a day after work.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 17
    He feels now that he wont be able to and that will mess up his mental health.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 18
    They work from 7:30am-4pm and workout for 2 hours after that. That's around 10 hours I would have this newborn.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 19
    I said so your having a baby for me to take care of so your lives dont change?
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 20
    You want me to give up my free time, but you wont? We have talked about how happy I am in this moment with free time.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 21
    He said a child is more important than your hobbies. Which totally set me the rest of the way off.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 22
    I said mine are, because I had them. Your child is more important than the gym.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 23
    It's not up to you to decide what I do with my time, and you can workout at home.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 24
    I said i was sorry and hung up. Now its going to be super awkward but at least they know now.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • 25
    IAmTAAlways NO I'M NOT was the appropriate answer to give in the moment. When they ask again, it will still be appropriate answer.
    via IAmTAAlways
  • 26
    Sassy_Weatherwax "Oh really? This is the first I'm hearing about it." With a flat stare.
    via Sassy_Weatherwax
  • 27
    SillyMoose25 NTA - but you really should've corrected them in the moment or soon after. Easier said than done I know but now they think "you know" and agree. I would follow up on this quickly. Wild entitlement on the side of the parents. Edit: don't offer to watch the baby here or there until they get actual, proven childcare and have used them for awhile.
    via SillyMoose25

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family drama entitled parents entitlement reddit story parenting entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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