Mother tells 18-year-old daughter that her work Christmas party ends at 10 pm, but when she's still out at 10:01 pm, her overly-dependent daughter gets furious, spamming her phone and claiming she broke “promises”: 'She told me that I'm a mother first'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Dec 18, 2025 6:00 PM EST

We all know the term helicopter parent, but I think we've just established the helicopter child…Dependent, attached, and always a little bit stressed…These children struggle to be alone, often trying to exert more attention and control over their parents than the other way around. Perhaps these kids are less common than helicopter parents, yet they certainly exist! So, if you, too, have a child who wants your weekly schedule forwarded to them, alongside an attached picture of yourself, just in case they forgot what you look like during a grocery shop run, this story is for you! 

This mother informed her 18-year-old daughter about her work Christmas party coming up. When asked what time the party ends, she told her, 'around 10 pm', and they moved on with their day…Fast forward to the event. This mother was having the best time with her coworkers, finally letting her hair down for the first time in weeks. However, as 10:01 pm hits, she is bombarded with calls and messages from her daughter regarding her whereabouts. When she returned home within the hour, her daughter refused to look at her, mumbling something about 'broken promises'…

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  • The only broken promise happening is the unspoken assumption that children are supposed to be independent by 18 years old, yet it seems that promise, too, was unfulfilled …It seems as though this family has lost sight of who the parent and the child roles belong to…so we highly recommend sitting down and having that long-overdue conversation. 

  • 01
    A group of friends at a Christmas party, smiling and holding gifts
    via sydaproductions

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITAH? My 18 year old is upset I wasn't on my way home EARLIER from a party than it ended.

    Hi reddit. I'm (36F) currently in a major disagreement with my eldest kid (18NB) over events that happened last night, and I need an unbiased group of people to maybe help me understand my kid's frustration.
    via Plastic-Run-8313
  • 03
    I had Q (my kid) when I was 18. We did a lot of growing up together with me being a young mom, so we do a lot together.
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  • 04
    Q and I are definitely close, but when they're upset with me, it can get bad.
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  • 05
    And since we're so close, if I do anything without them, even just something for myself (I'm a mother of 4, so these are already rare), they get really angry.
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  • 06
    Now to the problem at hand: I had a work Christmas party last night. Q helped me shop for a dress the day before, gave me some advice on styling and accessorizing the evening of and it was a really nice bonding experience.
    via Plastic-Run-8313
  • 07
    My 2 younger daughters went to their dad's house for the weekend, so it was only Q at home with their brother (15), so no babysitting was involved.
    via Plastic-Run-8313
  • 08
    Q asked me when I'd be home for the night, and I replied "I'm not sure if I'll leave early or not, but the party ends at 10." They seemed satisfied with this answer, and off I went with my husband to the party.
    via Plastic-Run-8313
  • 09
    We had a wonderful time during the party. I did look at my phone every pretty often when I wasn't dancing to make sure I didn't get any emergency phone calls, and for most of the night I was clear.
    via Plastic-Run-8313
  • 10
    However, when the party ended at 10:02, I went to look at my phone to be greeted with 2 missed calls (one at 10:01 and the other at 10:02) and an incoming call from Q.
    via Plastic-Run-8313
  • 11
    Teenager lying on her phone in bed
    via pixelshot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    They berated me for not answering and yelled at me for not being home at this time.
    via Plastic-Run-8313
  • 13
    I calmly reminded them that the party ended at 10, to which they replied that I claimed that I was coming home early (I did not expressly guarantee that to them at all) and this was the third time they called because what if there was an emergency, and told me that I'm a mother first.
    via Plastic-Run-8313
  • 14
    They're currently still not talking to me, and when I tried to make peace, they snapped on me.
    via Plastic-Run-8313
  • 15
    I'm starting to feel like I shouldn't do anything at all on my own and I should stay home and just "be a mom." So, reddit, was I wrong at all?
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  • 16
    How could I have handled this better?
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  • 17
    greeneyedgal2 You prob shouldn't let your CHILD run your life and remind them you're the parent who is free to do as she pleases since she again is the parent. You're wild for thinking you cannot do as you please also get this child into therapy
    via greeneyedgal2
  • 18
    Mother shouting at her teenager daughter in the living room
    via dimaberlinphotos

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    ESH SQ_Madriel Your kid is controlling and thinks they can tell you what to do. You for seemingly never getting your child counseling to address their separation issues and lack of emotional regulation.
    via SQ_Madriel
  • 20
    ofmoranges This is weird. Your child needs help dealing with boundaries and attachment issues. You have every right to live your life
    via ofmoranges
  • 21
    International-Fee255 Ok so it sounds like you two are in a very strange relationship. This needs therapy now. There's no way an 18 year old should be so dependant on their parent and aso acting as parent towards them. Your relationship isn't normal and you will need professional help to sort this out.
    via International-Fee255
  • 22
    Front Tour1583 What's going on here? Your 18 yo child should not be so hung up on your schedule that they're freaking out at 10:01 and 10:02 and super angry at your afterwards for not coming home on time. This is concerning behavior and speaks to some unhealthy codependency of some kind. This needs to be untangled. You are the parent. You are an adult. Frankly so is your kid now. This isn't okay. YTA for letting this get to this point. Idk if you both need therapy or what but this needs to be ad
    via Front Tour1583
  • 23
    Babziellia I'm going with NTA for this Christmas party outing. But, OP, your oldest has an unhealthy attachment to you. What steps have you taken to encourage your oldest to detach from you? They're technically an adult now but acting like a toddler.
    via Babziellia
  • 24
    NTA GreekAmericanDom You need to set some healthier boundaries with Q.
    via GreekAmericanDom

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Christmas party work-event leaving early dependant Parenting FAILS young adult
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