Daughter brings her barefoot “spiritual guide” to Thanksgiving, his chaotic energy-cleansing and cheating predictions spark full-family meltdown that ends with her being kicked out and Christmas nearly canceled: 'No one is respecting her journey'

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  • Spiritual couple
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  • My sister showed up to Thanksgiving with her “spiritual advisor,” and it blew up the whole night.

    So... you asked for some drama, my sister took the cake this year. Let me tell you how it went with the spicy details so you can feel like you were there.
  • Here we go: my family is already dramatic on a normal Thursday, so holidays are basically boss- level chaos.
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  • My sister has been "finding herself" lately: yoga, journaling, sage, we support it, whatever. But then she got this spiritual advisor, who she claims "helped her release ancestral trauma" after three sessions and $600.
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  • Cool. Love that for her. We all go to our mom's for Thanksgiving. Other family members could probably host, but her house is the biggest.
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  • Everyone knows to be there at noon. Some of us show up early. So, yesterday its 2pm, food's in the oven, everyone's arrived, we're just waiting on my sister.
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  • Family celebrating thanksgiving dinner
  • (She's always fashionably late, as she calls it, but never arrives in any type of fashion despite my mom's strict dress code of semi-formal) Doorbell rings.
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  • She walks in with this man, mid-40s, barefoot (in November!!), wearing what looks like a crocheted poncho and like forty necklaces.
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  • He introduces himself as "River Wolf". My mom, trying so hard to be polite, goes, "Oh, you must be a friend!" He goes, "No, I'm her guide." My dad's face: buffering icon.
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  • We dont even try to make smalltalk as its almost time to eat. So my mom tries in her best host voice to move us all to the dining room.
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  • We sit down to eat. Before anyone can touch a roll, River Wolf stands up and says he needs to "cleanse the table energy." He starts waving smoke everywhere.
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  • Walking all around us, in between us and across the table "cleansing" with this gross smelling incense.
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  • Man lighting candles and incense
  • My nephew starts coughing. My mom's upset because she thinks the turkey is going to taste like incense.
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  • Then River Wolf stops mid smoking and grabs a crystal from his pocket, holds it over my brother-in-law's head, and says: "You carry resentment for a woman who wronged you." My brother-in-law: "...which woman???" My sister yells at him: "Stay open." My sister-in- law yells louder: "STAY OPEN TO WHAT??" Now everyone is screaming because apparently River Wolf "felt" cheating energy in the house.
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  • He refuses to say who, claims it will "reveal itself." Chaos erupts at the table. My aunt immediately assumes it's her husband.
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  • Which made me laugh, cuz wtf? River Wolf ain't even over your husband. My uncle insists it's actually my cousin's boyfriend.
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  • My cousin starts sobbing, her boyfriend gets up and leaves. My sister-in-law is shooting daggers at her husband with River Wolf still standing over him in a trance.
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  • Everyone is yelling, accusations go flying. My aunt throws a roll at my uncle, misses and hits the drink table.
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  • The dog eats the roll, the drinks pour onto the carpet. The turkey gets cold. And im staring at my sister in shock.
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  • Spiritual woman praying
  • She doesn't move a muscle, just staring off into space. My mom is frozen in place watching the chaos unfold.
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  • No one is eating but my little brother who is laughing hysterically saying this was the best holiday ever.
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  • We try to get thru dinner and the rest of the night. Dessert time was awkward to say the least.
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  • River Wolf ends the night by telling my sister she needs to "disconnect from the toxins in her bloodline." My mom goes, "Are we the toxins?" He nods.
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  • My mom goes red with anger. My dad tells my sister she needs to leave and that she ruined Thanksgiving.
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  • My sister is offended that no one is "respecting her journey." Everyone else is offended that she brought a barefoot homewrecker to a federal holiday.
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  • She left in tears. My dad said he's canceling Christmas. Sister has been calling me all day trying to talk and I'm over it.
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  • Mom is done and dad is so close to disowning her. Can't wait for New Year's, that one is still on.
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