Couple temporarily living with husband's parents refuse to pay for the new kitchen appliances his mother ordered, after she secretly added them to the list of monthly expenses they usually split: 'We aren't going to pay for appliances we didn't need'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Dec 17, 2025 3:00 PM EST

This is a tricky one: on one hand, these parents have granted their young son and wife a favor by opening up their home to them, as they save up for one of their own. But on the other hand, they have certain contribution expectations that they feel the couple should be fulfilling. Due to this, his parents ensure that all the house bills are split equally between everyone…We think that's a pretty fair deal. However, due to the short-term status of their stay, there seems to be a bit of confusion around what is considered 'house expenses' and 'luxuries'…

When his mother ordered some new home appliances, the rest of the household all agreed that they wouldn't be responsible for the cost of this impulsive kitchen makeover…But when she sent out the monthly expense list, the couple discovered that the appliances had clearly been included in the final calculations. Sparking a whirlwind of household drama and a few very awkward conversations…So will this couple let a stainless steel stove come between their relationship with his mother, or will they find a polite way to compromise?

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  • Any conversation surrounding money is never a walk in the park…yet, sometimes they are necessary, even when it comes to family. It is important to always show gratitude to those who lend you a helping hand, but that does not mean that you are restricted from ever sharing your feelings and boundaries with those you love…

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  • AITA For telling my MIL we're not paying for her appliances?

    So I 25 F live with my husband 25M and his family. His family consists of his mother (who ill be referring too as MIL) and 2 older brothers (Kevin 30 and Alan 27).
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  • For some background, I would consider my husbands family being very close knit, being that they always had movie nights, game nights and dinner together the majority of nights.
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  • I also got along well with my MIL before this situation. We recently got married, and decided to move in with my husbands family because we want to save up for a house, while I also finish my education.
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  • Of course before making this decision we had sat together as a family and discussed what everyone thought and if everyone agreed.
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  • Additionally during this conversation we had specified that we would have a timeline to move out even if it weren't because we purchased a home.
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  • When I moved in (about 4 months ago) we as a family decided to split every bill equally and that MIL would send a text letting everyone know the total for the month.
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  • Well last month MIL decided to purchase some appliances for the home. This wasn't discussed as a family and most of us didn't even know until a few days before they arrived.
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  • When we found out about this my husband and Kevin both separately spoke to MIL to make sure this was an individual purchase instead of a family one, because none of our appliances were broken/non functional.
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  • She in both cases just stated that it was her purchase and left it at that.
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  • A month goes by and MIL sends the bill text and Kevin notices that the appliances have been added.
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  • He sends a text asking why its on the bill and that this needed to be discussed.
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  • MIL only reply to this is "since we all use the appliances we should all pay for it".
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  • Since Kevin, my husband and I were home, we have a conversation and decided to send the money excluding the appliance cost.
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  • To my knowledge Alan just goes with whatever MIL says and probably sent the full amount.
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  • Fast forward a few hours and MIL comes home furious but after some time we all just state that we aren't going to pay for appliances we didn't need and had previously clarified we weren't paying for.
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  • Worried couple sitting on the couch reading through their bills
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  • I left most of my commentary for my husband to handle so it wouldn't come off as me trying to attack her, or intrude on her home.
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  • However I did clarify at a certain point that it just didn't sit well with my husband and I that she would just add that to the bill with no previous conversation and never even motioning it.
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  • This being amplified because my husband and I trusted her completely and never looked at the breakdown cost she would include with the bills.
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  • We would just see the total and send it. She said we're being unreasonable and that we should be grateful because moving out would be way more expensive.
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  • Then after a few days just proceeded to ask my husband when do we plan on moving out and started sending passive aggressive text and rentals showing how expensive everything is.
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  • So AITA for basically telling her we're not paying for her appliances?
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living at home appliances expenses splitting-bills mother in law kitchen
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