Professor asks male and female coworkers to share a bed on research trip to NYC, claim to have no other option: 'She was creating a big fuss about it'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 17, 2025 10:00 PM EST
a man and a woman share a couch in a fancy hotel room

Sharing a hotel room with anyone is an intimate experience, let alone your coworker.

There are certain decencies we expect when we're at work. Maybe there are certain boundaries that we don't feel we should have to cross. After all, it is your work life and not your personal life. There are a few jobs that require you to cohabitate with your coworkers, but you usually have knowledge of that going in. If you're not the type of person who wants to do that, then you're probably not going to sign up for that kind of job. But what if your regular job springs that on you? 

Work trips are common occurrences in adult life, and we all have our own ways of dealing with them. You generally have to go with the flow of what your company wants and can afford, but there are certain baselines that you probably expect. One of them is having your own room. Hotel rooms are expensive, but sharing them can become a huge HR nightmare quickly. But that didn't stop one employer from testing the limits. 

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  • At university research programs, funding can often be in short supply. That was the case in this cohort, where a group of researchers was planning a work trip to New York City. But one pretty big snag came up when the professor in charge asked two coworkers of the opposite gender to share a room together. Read on for the full story and see what you think. 

  • Research trip coming up have to share a bed with a female co worker...

    Hey guys, I have a research trip coming up in January. We will be going with 4 co workers and the professor. Now the issue is that 2 of the co workers are going to be married so they will be sharing the room, and the professor won't be staying as she has family in that city. We don't have much research funding,
    via u/Visible_Cut_7762
  • but the professor asked me and my female co-worker to stay together. Now I don't see any problem with it, but Im sure she is upset. She was creating a big fuss about it, but I respect it and i understand. We asked the professor for separate rooms but she said we don't have the budget.
    via u/Visible_Cut_7762
  • As it stands now, im rooming with my male co-worker and she is rooming with his partner. They are a little annoyed but they will get over it. I don't see the issue, except since we are going to be doing research all day the other 2 wont get to spend too much time together
    via u/Visible_Cut_7762
  • Note: Research is in NYC, professor doesn't want to spend thousands for a separate hotel room
    via u/Visible_Cut_7762

  • Commenters had some questions about how this all went down.

    Kenny_Lush What on Earth are you all "researching" in NYC that you have to be there in person?
    via u/Kenny_Lush
  • OP Visible_Cut_7762 Its a research presentation to get funding after christmas/New Years for the new year. Edit: More funding
    via u/Visible_Cut_7762
  • A pair of coworkers read books in lounge chairs in a hotel room
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • otter_759 Share a bed or share a room? Either way, I would not want to go but expecting to share a bed with a coworker is actually insane.
    via u/otter_759
  • OP Visible_Cut_7762 It is sharing the room, if it wasn't clear from the post but either way I don't like sharing a room.
    via u/Visible_Cut_7762
  • Lonely-Sound2823 Thousands? How many days is this?
    via u/Lonely-Sound2823
  • OP Visible_Cut_7762 5 days. Hotel costs around 600 a night which equates to $3000 for one room. If she gets another room it would be an extra $3K for 5 nights totaling 9K
    via u/Visible_Cut_7762
  • A man and a woman sit on a couch opposite each other looking at their phones
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Several-Light2768 I wont share rooms on work trips and I dont care if they are male or female. Your professor is an idiot and this is an HR nightmare waiting to happen.
    via u/Several-Light2768
  • luvbirdpod If there's no budget for 4 rooms, there's no budget to send 4 people.
    via u/luvbirdpod
  • Qahnaarin_112314 The married couple need to get over it. This is a work trip. If they didn't work together and one of them went on a work trip they wouldn't see each other. Thats how it works for 99% of couples when a work trip happens. I would rather share a bed with another woman than my husband so that she doesn't feel unsafe.
    via u/Qahnaarin_112314
  • 68Snowy You are working for a college? I'm sure there are HR rules around this. No way male and female coworkers should be sharing a room unless they are married. Imagine the potential issues that could arise. Bad enough if same gender have to share. Splitting the couple up seems only way to do it if forced to share.
    via u/68Snowy
  • Familiar-Flan-8358 What kind of lawsuit loving nut job would even consider two colleagues of opposite sex rooming together? This sounds like the premise for a trope porno.
    via u/Familiar-Flan-8358
  • enamoured_artichoke Sharing hotel rooms with a same sex coworker is not normal. Sharing rooms with an opposite sex coworker shouldn't ever happen.
    via u/enamoured_artichoke
  • Feeling-Carry6446 In a lot of companies and I know a university isn't a lot of companies - the professor as supervisor would be in deep shit for creating a toxic environment of sexual harassment. Honestly these are bad decisions the prof is making, or the department is making. It can go very wrong in a number of ways. Be a patient, branch-that-bends kind of person here. Offer to take the floor, etc. Listen more than talking, especially if there's anxiety, and try to emphasize comraderie.
    via u/Feeling-Carry6446

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