Coworker presses colleague to attend company potluck on her day off: 'It takes me 30-40 minutes to get to the hospital so I don’t think it’s worth the drive'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 14, 2025 10:00 PM EST

Nobody likes to work on their day off, even if that "working" is actually a party at your office.

Getting there is half the battle. To work, that is. Once you're there, you might as well be there. But most of the hassle is in getting out of bed, running a comb through your hair, and making the commute to your place of work. This is why we avoid it at all costs when someone asks us to come in on our day off. Because half of the effort of working is getting there and clocking in, but that's what this employee was being asked to do on their day off. 

Office parties and get-togethers are a nice idea. It gives you a chance to debrief with your coworkers and develop bonds that might help you in the workplace. But if it comes at an inconvenience for you, then it's worth reconsidering. That's what happened in this story when an employee was constantly hounded to come in on the one day when they could stay at home and rest. 

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  • A woman holds a steering wheel on her drive to work.
    via Samuel Foster

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • They weren't sure if they were blowing it out of proportion, and they should just go anyway, or if it was reasonable to expect a little bit of grace on their day off. Read on to see what commenters had to say and decide what you would have done in this situation.

  • Coworker pressing me to attend birthday potluck on my day off...

    I work per diem at a hospital and my department does a potluck once a month in our break room to celebrate that month's birthday celebrants. I'm a December baby and the potluck is next week when I'm not scheduled. Ever since the end of November, my coworker, Daisy, has been asking me every time I come in if I'll be attending since she and another coworker
    via u/DontGetFrostbite
  • coordinates the potluck (usually getting the main dish, cake, and decor). I've been telling her I'll think about it and every single time she makes a point that this is a celebration for me and the other celebrants. I feel like she's been pushing it since she even texted me to ask. I've only been asked once by other coworkers and when I said I'm not scheduled that day, they were just like okay and went about their shift.
    via u/DontGetFrostbite
  • I honestly don't want to attend since it's my day off and it takes me 30-40 minutes to get to the hospital so I don't think it's worth the drive. However, since I've only been working here for only a year, I fear not showing up would come off as rude. I've been scheduled to
    via u/DontGetFrostbite
  • work on the same day as a birthday potluck in previous months and I do partake in it so it's not like I avoid them entirely. I've told another coworker and she said she wouldn't go on her day off either and to not let Daisy peer pressure me into attending.
    via u/DontGetFrostbite
  • Am I overthinking this? I am scheduled to work the day after the potluck and I don't want it to be awkward but I also don't want to be asked why I didn't attend. I do work 2 other jobs so I could use it as an excuse.
    via u/DontGetFrostbite
  • Edit: A few comments pointed out the constant asking could be for planning/logistical reasons and that I never gave a definite 'no'. I texted her that I won't be able to attend so hopefully this stops here haha
    via u/DontGetFrostbite
  • A woman drives a car while looking at navigation
    via kevin laminto

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters gave their advice on what to do here.

    more_pepper_plz • 8h ago Just tell her no. She's just being nice and also needs to plan what to coordinate. It's helpful for her to know you're not coming so she doesn't have to be considerate of your taste.
    via u/more_pepper_plz
  • msackeygh • 9h ago Don't go in. Say you already have plans on your day off. End of story.
    via u/msackeygh
  • asyouwish ⚫ 8h ago Daisy is nuts. No one wants to go to a work event on their day off.
    via u/asyouwish
  • OkAstronaut3324 • 8h ago Lmao. Just say no. I'm partial of a small group. They wanted to do a white elephant gift exchange. Someone brought it up in staff and asked if everyone was interested. Slowly they went around the room and people agreed with varying degrees of enthusiasm and reluctant enthusiasm.
    via u/OkAstronaut3324
  • Then it was my turn. I looked directly at the person who brought it up and said, simply, I don't have any interest in buying gifts outside of the budget Ive set aside for this year, please feel free to pursue this exchange without me. Just bought a house. Every dollar counts. Fuck peer pressure.
    via u/OkAstronaut3324
  • Various-Delivery-6... . 9h ago Nope! Daisy is not your manager and has no say to force you in on your day off. Why don't you come in on your time Daisy.
    via u/Various-Delivery-695
  • goddessofgoo . 8h ago This could possibly just be a planning thing. You say she's pressuring you, but it doesn't sound like you said no at all yet, you were just wishy washy. Tell her no. If she brings it up again after you say a definitive no, then you can complain she's pressuring. There's
    via u/goddessofgoo
  • absolutely NOTHING wrong with not wanting to go to your work on your day off! So I don't she cares one way or another in that regard and just wants to know if she needs to plan for you since planning the parties is her "thing"
    via u/goddessofgoo
  • TheseSir8010 • 8h ago Once I learned to say no to others, I feel life has gotten lot easier.
    via u/TheseSir8010
  • Inconsequentialish . 8h ago Many employers (including the hospital where I used to work) do not allow employees to be at work if they're not scheduled and clocked in. Odds are you're not allowed to come hang around anyway.
    via u/Inconsequentialish
  • . Imaginary-Friend-2... 8h ago Just say no. "I'll think about it" and other "polite" variants leave the topic open for a revisit
    via u/Imaginary-Friend-228
  • The_Blonde1 .7h ago Next time she asks you, don't say "I'll think about it" as you wrote in your post. Tell her straight that you're not working that day and you won't be coming in. Be polite but firm. Invent other plans, but make sure your 'no' is definite.
    via u/The_Blonde1
  • • Able_Resident_1291 · 6h ago I've been telling her I'll think about it That's not a no. Just say no if you're not going to go.
    via u/Able_Resident_1291
  • Literary67 • 8h ago "Sorry, Daisy. I'll have to skip this potluck as I'm off that day.". End of story.
    via u/Literary67
  • Rock3tSc13nc3 8h ago You are not overthinking this, your coworker is obsessed about minutiae that is ridiculous and something that an 8-year-old would care about. Stop interacting with this person, it's pointless. Their
    via u/Rock3tSc13nc3
  • entire worldview is juvenile and ridiculous. You can offer to attend a birthday celebration on a day you're actually there and just move it to a different month. You're not going to be coming in on your own time for a celebration, how is that a celebration for you? It just cost you money time and effort. Stay home, that's the gift
    via u/Rock3tSc13nc3
  • Laxit00 8h ago • When it's my day off I don't go in. Ppl don't even. Ask me any more because they know if I'm scheduled I go. If we have a meeting, Xmas party on my day off you won't see me there... I only work 8 mins from work let alone 30 to 40 mins. I'm not wasting my day of to go sorry. Maybe next year they will plan it on your scheduled day, if they don't no big deal
    via u/Laxit00
  • ConsciousSky5968 • 8h ago Just say no. It's your day off, you don't have to be anywhere near your work place.
    via u/ConsciousSky5968
  • . Usual-Journalist-2... 8h ago Don't go to worm that day, you are not being paid to be there, and you have no obligation to apologise, feel awkward for not attending or provide an explanation.
    via u/Usual-Journalist-246
  • . MeYouAndJackieMi... 8h ago I have never attended a single extracurricular at my job and I've worked there for 8 years. The only thing I'll indulge in is in office free food. My commitment to avoiding that bullshit even extends to calling off for the day if they go bowling at the end of shift.
    via u/MeYouAndJackieMittoo
  • There was a minor league baseball game that the company tried to organize on a Saturday and gave out free t shirts for. I snottily replied "no because I have a life" when asked about it and got a shocked look but no one got me in trouble.
    via u/MeYouAndJackieMittoo

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commute job birthday coworkers attendance working office party potluck
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