Job seeker finds out "networking" advice is useless after going to endless events full of empty promises: ‘This strategy doesn’t work, it’s just an opportunity for mid-career people to revel in having their egos stroked’

Imagine there's no job stress

It's easy if you try

No looming layoffs 

A place where we all thrive


You may say I'm a dreamer

Who hopes LinkedIn wasn't dumb

I wish someday they'll help us

So connections get things done.

After reading the direct, 100% fully accurate Lennon quote I used here, I'm guessing you pretty much know where I stand in this whole discussion. But I do have a caveat, and I thought, just to prove I'm not solely a pessimistic, cynical person, why not start with it?

So, there was a time in my life where, for business reasons I won't elaborate on here to not bore you all to a point of unplanned nap, I used to need to network basically on a daily basis. I had my own business then and was actually pretty amazed by how many other business owners were willing to help out and give advice, connections, and guidance to promote people in the same industry as them. It was always almost opposite to how you would think stuff like this would work out.

But my experience in that field is obviously the exception to the rule, as this wasn't the case in any other type of work I used to have or any other field of business. And the internet obviously agrees. In any other time in my life, gatekeeping seems to be the default behavior humans tend towards.

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  • “Networking” is pretty toxic job search advice, imo

    A diverse group of well-dressed adults socializing at a crowded indoor networking event or office party, chatting in small groups while holding drinks, viewed from above in a modern professional setting
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • And that’s why, in most instances, I completely agree with the frustrated professional who posted this. Telling less experienced players in most fields to just go out there and mingle with the big boys and girls in their game and you'll get all the help you need is just mean.

  • The amount of time, energy, and embarrassment it requires, with such uncertain and virtually nonexistent rewards, just makes the utterance of the word almost an insult.
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  • I know a guy who's been attending networking events in a major city every weekend and it's just an opportunity for mid-career people to revel in having their egos stroked.
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  • He's gotten nothing out of it and no one has bothered to vouch for him. How could helping someone else so far down the ladder help these people?
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  • We all live in the same world, and the same free market, the market that created the climate of self-brand, self-marketing, and self-improvement is its most sacred core. So, why would we expect others to put themselves in a possibly lesser position than anyone. 

  • If we see the situation for what it objectively is, they don't stand to benefit in any way.
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  • A crowded office networking event with diverse professionals mingling, talking in small groups, and holding drinks in a modern indoor venue, viewed from above, capturing casual business conversations and social interaction.
    via Rawpixel.com

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • As for me, I recently attended a networking event with alumni from the university I'm attending.
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  • There was a guy there who'd graduated from the same program several years earlier, who had the exact same research interests as me.
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  • The kicker was when he said: "Anyway, I don't want to give you any advice, it's your life." At a networking event he went out of his way to attend.
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  • If you’re not lucky enough to be part of such a utopian industry where there’s enough money, positions, and steps of the corporate ladder to climb for any and all of us, that would most likely be futile.

  • It's almost like these people have amnesia about the time in their life where they struggled to get their foot in the door.
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  • The empathy deficit is real. Basically, this strategy doesn't work. If we stretch the definition of what networking is, only former coworkers will go out of their way to open doors for you.
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  • I've heard plenty of stories of former coworkers helping out former coworkers. Everyone else will politely have you pound sand.
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  • And that’s what our guy is describing exactly, he’s just stating the almost obvious fact that the people you will end up engaging in small talk with, the ones who can help you climb said steps of the ladder, have zero reason to do so. Or in his words, “the empathy deficit is real.”

  • Lekrii Networking is by far the best way to find a job. Networking isn't effectively done by attending 'networking events'. Actual networking is talking to as many different people as you can. Talk to friends, talk to your friend's friends, talk to relatives, take a cooking class and talk to people there, volunteer somewhere and talk to fellow volunteers, call people you haven't talked to in five years, ask if you can go to coffee and listen to them talk about what they do for a living. Find ind
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  • OP deepad9 >Find industry events, go to them and meet people. Follow up with the people you met after you leave the event. That's exactly the kind of networking event I described in my original post. >Actual networking is talking to as many different people as you can. Talk to friends, talk to your friend's friends, talk to relatives, take a cooking class and talk to people there, volunteer somewhere and talk to fellow volunteers This is just "being alive" and having a normal social life, essent
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  • Lekrii Industry events are not networking events. Industry events are conferences, educational seminars, etc. "Networking events" are lazy, they're barely one step up from blindly applying on LinkedIn. Yes, this is basic socialization. Create a plan for it. 80% of your time spent job hunting should be networking. It's the only effective way to reliably find jobs.
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  • OP deepad9 > Industry events are conferences, educational seminars, etc. So the same thing under a different name.
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  • Lekrii Are you here to actually get help on how to find a job, or do you just want to complain?
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  • OP deepad9 I'm here to help other people not fall for bad advice.
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  • CareerCapableHQ For a more junior example: When I first started consulting, I took a client on that worked in the industry back when "loT - the Internet of Things" was popular. They hosted a "thinktank" after work for anyone from the area to come and talk about how loT was going to change the world. They hired people straight out of that thinktank to work for them.
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  • OP deepad9 When I say "junior," I mean people who haven't broken into a field yet-in this example, you'd already begun consulting
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  • CareerCapableHQ I'm trying to help you think outside the box. My career in the last example is irrelevant. A thinktank group (think finding events on evite or others) was hosted open to the public. It was just a free event to talk about topics of interest. An employer who hosted hired from that group. Merely going to a group and showing interest with others there built a rapport. Similarly my first example is just meeting someone and showing up to their events, building a relationship, and intro
    via deepad9
  • OP deepad9 How many years ago did these events take place? Just out of curiosity. They seem helpful but I've never heard of anything like them
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  • No_Lead_889 Networking is not a strategy for people without career capital already 99% of the time. Getting your foot in the door is 100% about demonstrating bridging an experience gap for a specific role not who you know
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  • OP deepad9 Yep, completely agree
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  • Ornery-Marzipan5497 Every social interaction is networking. My whole career started from networking. At the university: like chatting after lectures with the professors and guest lecturers, and getting invited for internships. Internships lead to job offers. Doing a good job building up my network and getting invited to another company (and a step up in seniority). Doing a good job at the next job, leads to getting invited (by senior management) to apply for a open senior position. I try to keep
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  • OP deepad9 What do you do for a living?
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  • broker965 The first sentence of this post clearly shows that you go into networking environments with a lot of anxiety and self- centeredness. If you flipped those to seeking interactions where the other person benefits as much as you do and going into it with a relaxed mind with no attachment to outcome, you might have different results.
    via deepad9
  • OP deepad9 The types of conversations I have are exactly the ones you've described
    via deepad9
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