Parents pressure teenage daughter go to expensive out-of-state school instead of her in-state choice, call her a 'spoiled brat' for accepting their help: 'I want to know I can stand on my own two feet'

You know what they say, more money, more problems. This is a gross oversimplification of how wealth can corrupt us, but it remains true. Some people learn this the hard way. If you grow up without much, and then you suddenly are in a privileged position, it might still be hard to get rid of that scarcity mindset. That's the kind of thing that will stay with you for a long time. Or if you grew up with a lot and lose everything, it can take you a long time to rebuild your sense of inner worth. This all comes into even clearer focus when you become a parent. Because all of your problems start to become your child's problems, whether you want them to or not. It's important to figure out your relationship with money and to raise your child with a clear sense of it. Whether you insist on paying for everything for their whole lives, or whether you're going to push them to stand on their own 2 feet, it's important to be communicative about this. 

Relationships with children are also two-way streets. If they start to express discomfort with the way you treat money, then you should listen to them. It doesn't always have to be a top-down decision. This family was in the middle of that kind of conversation when their daughter was about to go to college. College is a huge financial burden for many people. But it's also one of the first times as a teenager when you get to assert your independence. 

Author image for JR Atkinson JR Atkinson
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