Husband lies about being vegan to his vegan wife for 11 years, 3-year-old granddaughter exposes his meat eating behind her grandma's back: 'She asked why she doesn’t come eat steak with me at their house.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jan 5, 2026 8:00 PM EST

He shouldn't have lied, but she shouldn't have insisted that he go vegan.

It's understandable to want to live in a household where everyone has similar dietary restrictions. I've seen online posts soliciting roommates who exclusively want to live with someone who is also gluten-free, kosher, or vegan, and I totally understand that. If you are gluten-free for health reasons, you can get sick from using the same toaster as someone who is not gluten-free. Let's be honest, who wants to have two toasters in their house? Roommates often share basic ingredients, and it's annoying to have to constantly double-check whether you're using the kosher ketchup or your roommates' decidedly non-kosher ketchup. Some vegans have ethical problems with living in a house with meat eaters. That's all well and good when you live by yourself or with roommates, but what about when you're married to a meat-eater?

In marriage, you're more willing to compromise and buy two toasters if that's what you need to do to keep both of you happy. It's not advisable to force your partner into a diet they have no interest in, even if you sincerely believe in it or need to follow it for health reasons. Forcing a diet on your partner might breed resentment in the relationship, and if they aren't committed to the diet, it might make it harder for you to stay committed. Food is deeply personal for everyone, and very few adults will give up the foods they've enjoyed for their entire lives because their partner decided to go vegan or cut out all sugar. It is easier to maintain a strict diet if "tempting" foods aren't in the house, but dieters should be committed enough to their dietary restrictions to handle their husband keeping cured meats in the home. 

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  • The wife in this story insisted that her husband go vegan, and he wasn't willing to fight her on that. Instead, he hid his meat-eating from her for 11 years, and now that she found him out, he's wondering if he was in the wrong.

  • Man smiles proudly beside a giant steak dinner
    via Jacob Mitani

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for lying to my wife for years?

    Back in 2015 my wife decided to go completely vegan no meat no dairy no nothing and she wanted me to go vegan too, I didn't want to but we kept arguing, I didn't wannal leave or divorce her because she's the love of my life but
    via u/Ok_Strawberry_6403
  • she kept insisting and I just lied and said fine. I don't eat meat or dairy in the house anymore but I do whenever I'm out alone or at one of our kids places, we have two adult kids a son and a daughter who were both already out of
    via u/Ok_Strawberry_6403
  • the house when she went vegan, my kids always let me eat meat and dairy at their houses and it was always our secret but yesterday my daughters little 3 year old toddler told on me to her grandma, she asked why she
    via u/Ok_Strawberry_6403
  • A little girl eating a donut while standing next to a man
    via Gloria Liu

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • doesn't come eat steak with me at their house, she lost it at me, and we ended up having a fight about it all over again but she just gave up and is avoiding me now. Was I an ass for lying to her about not eating meat?
    via u/Ok_Strawberry_6403
  • A woman standing on a dirt road in the woods
    via A. C. (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Truebeliever-14 Your wife has no business dictating what you eat. I am a vegetarian, my husband is not and I would never even attempt to change him. Your wife's inability to accept your right to choose caused this, I would have lied too. NTA
    via u/Truebeliever-14
  • Mrs_Jones_85 You need to be honest with your wife. You don't want to be vegan. She can do whatever she likes but it becomes unacceptable when it's forced on others. Stop lying and be direct. You're a whole adult, with adult children. She doesn't get to dictate your diet.
    via u/Mrs_Jones_85
  • Kooky_ice_3762 You're an ass for lying to her, but she's an ass for pushing an entire lifestyle on you with an ultimatum in the first place. You guys need counseling
    via u/Kooky_Ice_3762
  • VordovKolnir NTA. I get why most are saying esh, but I also understand why you went this route. But you had to know it'd happen eventually. But it's time to own it.
    via u/VordovKolnir
  • Gedoefte She should not dictate you, you should not lie
    via u/Gedoefte
  • Entire_Channel_4592 You shouldn't have lied. BUT. she can't dictate what you eat. If you don't wanna be vegan then don't. Its your choice.
    via u/Entire_Channel_4592
  • ESH. Wankyudo Yes, you're an ass for lying to her. She's an ass for forcing a lifestyle that you don't want on you.
    via u/Wankyudo
  • NTA tigershrimp1 I think your wife is an AH for forcing her lifestyle on you. I was a vegetarian for 4 years and my husband respected that and everything we cooked at home was vegetarian, which was fine for him. My husband continued to eat meat outside the house or bought some meat for himself for BBQ at home. I would never force my partner to live a lifestyle that I decided for myself.
    via u/tigershrimp1
  • Pelagic_One NTA but you should have just put your foot down and told her you would only go meat free while in the house.
    via u/Pelagic_One
  • Brilliant-Bother-503 NTA. It is a shame that you felt the need to lie because your wife was being so unreasonable and uncompromising. I think she is the AH here. Tell her that each of you can make your own choices about food, and no one needs to force their diet on the other one. Eat what you want at home and when you are out. Your wife has no right deciding what you can and cannot have for meals and snacks.
    via u/Brilliant-Bother-503

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wife lying granddaughter husband vegan food adult children meat
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