'And no, she won't be eating out': Vegan sister-in-law demands that her family cook her meals and peanut-proof their house while she stays as a guest, then they shut down her visit

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
May 11, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Hosting guests is taxing, but when it comes to family, most of us are happy to bear the burden of visitors. However, this woman knew that her nitpicky sister-in-law's visit would be particularly brutal, especially after she insisted that they cook, clean, and keep the apartment to her exacting specifications, while she "makes herself at home."

Well, Sis, you can "make yourself at home" at a hotel since you're demanding that your family members—excuse me, your indentured servants—bend to your every whim and vegan food specification. 

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  • Living in a small apartment makes it especially difficult to host guests. Largely a space issue, it's shove bags in a corner and still have ample space to pull out the couch into a bed every night. So in this less-than-ideal environment, it's understandable that this married couple was already uneasy about hosting their sister-in-law, but alas, she seems unfazed by her burdensome appearance. Keep scrolling to read how this couple put healthy boundaries in place to protect their peace from a demanding, picky eater. 

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for refusing to let myister-in-law stay at my house because she’s "a vegan with a peanut allergy"?"

    So, I (28F) live in a small but cozy two-bedroom apartment in a city where rent is sky-high. I've always loved having friends and family over, but it's usually limited to a
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  • weekend or a quick visit-long- term stays are pretty much off the table. My husband (29M) and I agreed that we'd keep things simple and comfortable, which brings us to the current dilemma.
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  • My sister-in-law, "Mara" (26F), is coming into town for a conference next week. She lives about 5 hours away, and while we don't exactly dislike each other, we're not super
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  • close. We've always had a bit of a tension between us. She's very... particular. She's vegan (which I totally respect), but she's also severely allergic to peanuts,
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  • which, no big deal, but she literally asks for separate pans and plates for every meal she eats. That's fine when it's a visit over lunch or dinner, but she's requested that I cook and serve every meal this way during her stay.
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    via wutzkoh

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Here's the kicker: she also requires that my entire apartment be peanut-free and vegan-friendly for her visit. She said she's "highly sensitive," so I should remove anything with peanut oil, peanut
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  • butter, or any trace of non-vegan foods in the kitchen. And no, she won't be eating out, because, in her words, "restaurants can't guarantee no cross- contamination."
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  • I work full-time and have a pretty hectic schedule, so I've asked her multiple times if she could just stay in a nearby Airbnb or a hotel. But she insists that since my place is so much more "comfortable and
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  • homey," she'll "just sleep on the couch" and make herself at home. My husband is neutral, saying it's up to me, but he has mentioned that "she's family" and maybe I should be more accommodating.
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  • I love my sister-in-law, but I don't think it's realistic to cater to every single one of her dietary restrictions in my tiny apartment. Plus, I just don't think I should
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  • have to turn my life upside down to accommodate one person for a week. I'm honestly starting to feel resentful that she thinks I should do all of this when she could easily stay at a hotel, but maybe I'm being too harsh?
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  • So, Am I the J let her stay? for refusing to
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  • Bargle-Nawd It is his sister, so your husband can do all the cooking and cleaning for her to make the house allergy free for her. Why is this your responsibility?
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  • Electrical-Heron-619 Why on earth would you be preparing all her meals?!?! Also fair for allergy reasons if she needs a place peanut free but expecting someone to go all-vegan in their
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  • own home just cos that's your choice is wild. I'm veggie and used to be vegan and would never dreeeeam of asking someone to adapt to my choices like that. NTA
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  • Araveni NTJ. Your spineless husband can do all the cleaning and cooking if he wants to accommodate his annoying sister.
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  • wonderfulkneecap Look, it's one thing to be vegan and allergic to peanuts. It's another thing to be vegan, allergic to peanuts, and cheap
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  • She sounds eager to inconvenience you to save money If you let her stay, you're not just down a guestbedroom. You're down a useable kitchen.
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  • NoView5165 My sister's friend is vegan and we aren't allowed to bring anything like a coffee frappe. Fair enough it's her house. But when this friend comes to my sister's house
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  • my sister eats and drinks what she wants. If it's your home you shouldn't have to not have any non vegan products just because your Sil is a vegan. She should respect you and your home.
    via NoView5165

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