Helicopter mother-in-law relentlessly begs couple to let her name their newborn son, couple refuses: ‘She's not joking either’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jan 10, 2026 2:00 PM EST

Baby names are a big deal, and future parents are tired of pretending like they're not.

Sure, you can always change a child's name if you end up disliking your choice when they're newborns, and the child themselves has the right to change their legal name when they come of age, too. Even still, there's something special about being proud of the name you give your baby (on your first try), especially if the specific name you choose holds sentimental meaning in your life.

How do you reconcile the fact that there are loved ones out there who disagree with your name choices? For the most part, we're sure that you don't care all that much. This choice is for you, your partner, and your child only. It's not fun when you hear whisperings (or screaming) coming from your in-laws. More specifically, your barely-tolerated mother-in-law. You might consider her your monster-in-law.

This next story features a couple who are expecting their son in a few months. The woman's mother-in-law is insistent that she name their newborn, and hasn't even asked them what names she and her partner have been considering. Though the couple urges the mother-in-law to stop, she is unrelenting. How would you handle a situation like this? Would you try to go low-contact? No-contact? Sound off in the comments after reading the full story below.

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  • pregnant woman resting on a sofa at home looking unwell
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "Overbearing MIL insists on naming our child"

    Basically what the title says. My MIL has said to us multiple times now that she has picked out a name for our son.
    via Troobaby
  • (her first grandchild and due in March) When she first said this to me I told her we have already chosen a name and she responded that "her's comes first" I just awkwardly laughed because I was so confused and didn't know what to say.
    via Troobaby

  • How does a daughter-in-law respond to her mother-in-law when her mother-in-law is making ridiculous requests? If this is happening before the woman's son is even born, what will happen when he is? Will the woman's mother-in-law relentlessly badger her and her parenting style? Will the mother-in-law call the newborn by the name she wants to call him, and not the name he was given by his parents? There are plenty of unfortunate possibilities here, but there is only so much one can do without cutting the phone cord and going no-contact. 

  • She's now mentioned multiple more times to her son that she's picked our child's name and will be naming
    via Troobaby
  • He very firmly said no every time. She still continues to casually say this and she's not joking either.
    via Troobaby
  • I'm not really sure what to do here because she has always been overbearing and controlling with him and it causes a lot of fights/tension.
    via Troobaby
  • She listens more to me than my partner but I don't know how to get it across to her that she doesn't get to decide these type of things.
    via Troobaby
  • senior woman upset with her hands on her head solemnly staring off into the distance
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I find the naming to be extremely disrespectful especially because I chose to give our son the same middle name as my grandfather, who I was extremely close to.
    via Troobaby
  • She hasn't even bothered to ask what name we picked. She's also said things about how we don't know what we're doing because I put books on the registry and not. a bottle sterilizer or diaper cream.
    via Troobaby
  • I don't intend on using a sterilizer or even bottles that much at first as I intend on breastfeeding.
    via Troobaby
  • We're also very much aware that babies use diaper cream I just didn't care to add every little thing to the registry.
    via Troobaby
  • I also just don't feel the need to explain/justify this to her or anyone else. Any advice on dealing with an overbearing soon- to-be grandparent?
    via Troobaby
  • ETA: My partner is a lot more strict with her than I am since he's been dealing with this since, well, forever.
    via Troobaby
  • We're fully on the same page about not telling her when I go into labor and things like that.
    via Troobaby
  • I've already gone NC with my own parents over 10 years ago at this point. He's been mentioning it with his own parents more and more lately and while it makes me sad considering the great relationship I had with my grandfather, I do understand that they aren't him and it can be unfortunately necessary.
    via Troobaby
  • Also, I do have bottles on the registry, I just think all the random gadgets like bottle sterilizers or wipe warmers are unnecessary.
    via Troobaby
  • Ok-Challenge-9712 There's honestly nothing to do or argue here. This is your child, not hers. She doesn't get a vote on the name, the registry, or how you parent. You and your partner have already decided, and he's been clear with her, end of story lol You don't need to justify your choices or explain your reasoning. The more you engage, the more room she thinks she has. Treat it like a no-brainer because it is. Overbearing people thrive on reactions and debates. Don't give her either. Set the b
    via Ok-Challenge-9712
  • Overall-Lime-134 If she wants to name a child she should have another one. That's crazy.
    via Overall-Lime-134
  • Superb_Being_1159 MIL can't fill out the birth certificate paperwork so there's no way she can actually name your son without you writing in the name. I wouldn't worry too much about it - ultimately she's going to be mad and will try to make the birth about her, but you already know this so make plans to limit her access to you and the baby, especially during labor. I would put a note with your doctor and birthing team that MIL is not allowed in the room during labor/delivery. When you are ready
    via Superb_Being_1159
  • Tall Guy4877 Be careful of her watching him and calling him by the name she wanted to use just to confuse him.
    via TallGuy4877
  • Individual_Ebb3219 "Until you learn to respect me, you will not be meeting my child."
    via Individual_Ebb3219
  • Majestic Cake0001 Make sure the hospital staff knows she is not to come into the birthing room, lest she find a way to access the birth certificate.
    via MajesticCake0001
  • ChattyKathy628 "You named your children. We'll name ours."
    via ChattyKathy628
  • tdscm there's a lot to unpack here but in terms of the question at hand you have the baby you put the name you want on the birth certificate that's quite literally it, there's no discussion, no debate, no letting her know, nothing and every time she brings up any unsolicited anything you either ignore, redirect, distract à la "oh that's nice honey, anyway..." she can do literally nothing about this.
    via tdscm
  • thefuzziestbeeb I'm amazed you haven't gone NC or at least LC. I'm sorry this sounds horrendous.
    via thefuzziestbeeb***

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family drama baby parenting mother in law
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