New parents secretly change their 4-month-old's name after the husband's sister-in-law steals their original name choice and gives it to her 7-month-old: ‘First, middle, and last name’

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  • HIS NAME IS
  • "AITA for silently changing my son's name after my brother and SIL gave my nephew the name too?"

    My wife and I had our son 4 months ago. We had a name chosen early in her pregnancy. We kept that name to ourselves
  • but my SIL (married to my brother) found it out when she was still pregnant with my nephew (almost 7 months old).
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  • She never said how. She just told us she loved the name, congrats and she couldn't wait to meet him. We assume she snooped
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  • because she was not told. I even mentioned it to my brother and he said that his wife does like to browse through people's things like it was no biggie.
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  • Then when my nephew was born they announced his name and it was the name we chose. First, middle and last name. My brother
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  • called right after SIL posted the announcement and he told me to keep quiet because his wife had a rough birth and she didn't need drama and he knew we might not like it but she really wanted the name.
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  • Her reason? My brother and I have matching twin-like names and SIL wanted to connect our two boys by just giving them the same name so they were each other's namesake.
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  • My wife and I talked it over and we decided to pick a different name. But we'd pretend to keep the original name until there was
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  • zero risk of SIL changing my nephew's name (6 months after a birth is harder to make a change in our state).
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  • We only started telling people the true name last week. My parents and sisters said it made sense. Friends and my ILs understood
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  • why we did it. My brother told me I upset his wife by silently doing this sh and taking away her choice to match the boys. He told
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  • me it was a move. I told him his wife using the full name we chose was a move.
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  • I asked him if he considered how much tougher it would be with both boys enrolled in the same schools with the very same
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  • name. Not to mention banking, doctors, dental all kinds of stuff. He told me plenty of people have the same name and it's not a big deal and it's harder to mix sh up now and we're just trying to gatekeep names.
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  • I think he's cray. So does my wife. She said he clearly doesn't want SIL to be mad. But AITA for what I did? Like are we weird for thinking of this kind of stuff?
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  • LovingWisdom Definitely NTA: Your brother is outraged that you "took away SIL's choice to match the boys" What about the fact that she took away your choice to have an individual name? By invading your privacy? He's fine with that I assume?
  • DaikonCompetitive147 He acted like it was no biggie while I'm thinking I need to keep a closer eye on her in future.
  • LovingWisdom Of course he did, it's a big deal when his wife is upset, but when his wife upsets someone else he couldn't care less. You need to keep her out of your private spaces, you shouldn't have to watch her like she's a child.
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  • 24601moamo NTA. Skip the brother. Tell SIL she is creepy and she's not allowed around your son until she gets her behavior under control. It's creepy in my opinion.
  • Annual_Union8025 Your brother and sister in law are WEIRDOS. Not just for picking the same name secretly that you had already chosen (and then hypocritically getting mad at you for secretly changing your son's name), but also for being mad that they can't force you all to have the same name as their son. They also don't sound very bright.
  • DaikonCompetitive147 I'm shocked he isn't fighting it. But he seems to be willing to do whatever she wants.
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  • Wed_Penny Dreadful13 How did she find this info? She would never be allowed in my house or near my things.
  • DaikonCompetitive147 We had some blankets with the name and our best guess is she found them while snooping.
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