Woman refuses to be godmother to pregnant best friend's baby, after demanding she buy $200 gifts for her baby and contribute $300 to a college fund every month: 'In my family godparents are expected to financially contribute, and you agreed to the role'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Jan 16, 2026 2:00 PM EST

Being asked to be someone's godmother should be a privilege, not a debt-collection. 

Well, this woman is beginning to have second thoughts after discovering her pregnant bestie's definition of "godmother." These two women have been friends for years, and when "Stacey" fell pregnant, she had no doubts in her mind that her high school bff would be the perfect person to ask to be her baby's godmother. Her friend was obviously ecstatic and quickly agreed, until Stacey pulled out her list of financial responsibilities that came with the role, a "tradition in the family," or so she referenced the unheard of "rules…" But after discovering that her dear friend expected her to act as the family ATM until her daughter is old enough to drink, drive, and get degreed…

She requested that her friend contributes $200 worth of gifts for every celebration and pay $300 a month towards the unborn child's college tuition. Laughable, we know! As you can imagine, she quickly veered off the road of agreement, merged onto the "forget this" highway, and sped as far away from her gold-digging "friend" as possible.

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  • Not only is asking a friend of yours to pay for your child an absolute cheek, but it reeks of entitlement. Maybe this is how god-parenting works in her family…but the rest of the world has never heard of anything so bizarre. The sad part is, her friend probably would have spoiled the baby regardless, and now not only has she lost a life-long friend, but also an aunt to her daughter. 

    Distancing yourself from a friend is never easy, yet it is sometimes a necessity…especially if they're unable to see your (very valid) points. And in this case, her friend's point is a neon yellow sign during a clear day: Impossible to miss. 

  • Woman holding a gold cross next to her little baby's feet
    via africa-images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITJ for telling my friend I won't be her son's godmother because she only asked me so I'd give expensive gifts

    My friend "Stacey" (32F) is having a baby in 2 months. We've been friends since high school.
    via Advanced_Rent4993
  • Last week she asked if I'd be the godmother. I (31F) was honored and said yes.
    via Advanced_Rent4993
  • Then she sent me a list of "godmother duties" which included buying specific expensive gifts for every birthday and Christmas (she listed exact brands and price ranges starting at $200), contributing to his college fund monthly ($300 minimum), and "being available for financial emergencies." I was confused and asked if this was a joke.
    via Advanced_Rent4993
  • She said no, these are "standard godmother responsibilities" and since I'm childfree and make good money I can "easily afford it." I said that's not what a godmother is, that's a ATM machine.
    via Advanced_Rent4993
  • She said in her family godparents are expected to financially contribute and I agreed to the role so I'm committed.
    via Advanced_Rent4993
  • Two young woman having a serious conversation in the living room
    via Karola G

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I told her I'm un- agreeing then. I'm not signing up to spend thousands on her kid every year.
    via Advanced_Rent4993
  • She got really upset and said I "backed out of a sacred promise." I said you didn't tell me it came with mandatory expensive gift requirements.
    via Advanced_Rent4993
  • She said "everyone knows that's what godparents do" and I should've assumed. I've been to other christenings where godparents give normal gifts, this isn't universal.
    via Advanced_Rent4993
  • She told our friend group I "abandoned her baby" and several of them think I should have clarified expectations before backing out.
    via Advanced_Rent4993
  • But she never mentioned money when asking! AITJ? TL;DR: Friend asked me to be godmother, then revealed she expects me to spend $200+ on gifts plus $300/month for college fund, I backed out, she says I abandoned my commitment.
    via Advanced_Rent4993
  • Future-Plan9072 NTA, she basically tried to trick you into being her personal bank account That's not godparenting, that's financial servitude with extra steps
    via Future-Plan9072
  • traciw67 Ntj. A godmother is responsible for the religious instruction to the child. That's it. No gifts.
    via traciw67
  • b761962 I'd back out too. Not the jerk here. The audacity of your so called friend is lol
    via b761962
  • Pregnant woman holding her belly while she lies in bed
    via sydaproductions

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • KBobbetyBobbins NTJ $300 per month college fund is insane!
    via KBobbetyBobbins
  • draetz1 I have several god children. These are not normal requirements. Your friend is nuts
    via draetz1
  • janeygigi Well this is patently ridiculous. You've not broken a sacred promise. You've rightly called her on her bs and stepped back.
    via janeygigi
  • Odd-End-1405 Being a godparent is about ensuring the child's spiritual journey, nothing to do with spend. Yes, a godparent would give gifts, like any other extended family adult. She is just looking for the money grab. You did not "abandon" the child. I am sure there are other members in her circle that help guide her kid through the spiritual stuff. If not, lots of people don't have godparents. NTJ
    via Odd-End-1405
  • Entire-Tonight-1463 Legendary grifter, this one.
    via Entire-Tonight-1463
  • lonelyronin1 If that is how it is in her family, she should look for a godparent in her family. I have never heard of any godparent doing anything more than agreeing to keep an eye on the kid if something happens to the parents.
    via lonelyronin1
  • foxyphilophobic You "abandoned her baby" girl that baby is HER responsibility not yours! This is not normal. She is using you as an ATM and is expecting you to just roll over and do it. Tbh I would end a friendship over something like this, but that's just me.
    via foxyphilophobic

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responsibility guardian gift-giver expensive god-parent entitled people
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