Devoted aunt who regularly babysits her nieces, refuses to help out any longer after her sister starts dropping them off announced, sparking major family drama: 'You’re not their mom. Stop acting like you’re the one making the rule'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 9, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Being an aunt to two little princesses is a dream most women share…You get to have them for the fun, the dances, and the cuddles, and then you get to give them back to their parents when the overtired, hangry moments start to kick in…It's the perfect balance, at least until they are ready to have their own little princesses, or princes. However, this aunt is starting to feel as though the scale of responsibility seems to be tipping from fun-time to full-time… 

This mother has somehow convinced herself that it is okay to drop her two daughters off at her younger sister whenever she wants, with no prior request or warning. Just a simple doorbell ring and hope for the best…Her sister has always been willing to help out with whatever the girls need, but the problem arises when she seems to expect it from her…As if she has no other plans or purpose than being their aunt. When this aunt finally says something to her sister about the amount of overwhelming pressure she puts on her to always be available for the girls, and that she can't just drop them off unannounced anymore, their mother loses it, bringing even more hypocrisy into the situation. 

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  • This mother claims that her sister is acting like their mother, trying to make all the rules. Well, she wouldn't have to if their actual mother had some self-awareness when it came to other people's boundaries. It was never a case of not wanting to spend time with her nieces, it's a case of being taken advantage of by her own sister, and then blamed her for standing up for herself. 

  • Mother and two daughters sitting eating pancakes in the kitchen.
    via hrecheniukoleksii

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids anymore after she accused me of “acting like their mom”?

    I (28F) love my nieces, 6 and 8. My sister (32F) is a single mom and I've always helped out: school pickups, homework, babysitting, you name it.
    via EstimateMother1415
  • But lately, it's like she expects me to do it. Last weekend, she dropped the girls off at my apartment without asking first.
    via EstimateMother1415
  • Just texted, "You're home, right? I'll be back in a few hours." I called her, upset, and she said, "Relax, you love them.
    via EstimateMother1415
  • Don't act like it's a big deal." When she came to pick them up, I told her need her to start asking, not assuming.
    via EstimateMother1415
  • Woman waving goodbye.
    via gettyimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She got mad and said, "You're not their mom. Stop acting like you're the one making the rules." That stung.
    via EstimateMother1415
  • I told her if she feels that way, she can find someone else to babysit. Now she's telling everyone I "abandoned" her.
    via EstimateMother1415
  • AITA for stepping back after she said that?
    via EstimateMother1415
  • Past Cress_2052 NTA, your sister is abusing your time and kindness as her sister and sitter. Let her have to pay a sitter and find out what it's like to be responsible for her children. Don't let her use the kids to guilt trip you.
    via Past_Cress_2052
  • NTA. thewritingwand Absolutely not. She's right, you're not their mom. Which means it's her responsibility to care for her kids. I'm literally about to go pick up my 6YO niece in an hour. She's with me at least 2-3 times a week because that's how her mom and I work. My sister always asks first, acknowledges my efforts, and respects my boundaries. If yours can't do the same, she can find someone else.
    via thewritingwand
  • suggie75 NTA. You weren't setting rules for her kids. You were setting a boundary for yourself. You will not be dumped on without consent or notice. Your sister is confused or purposefully obtuse. Either way, she's biting the hand that feeds her, which makes her a dumbass.
    via suggie75
  • Two women arguing outside.
    via gettyimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • LadyJ-78 NTA. But what does this mean: "You're not their mom. Stop acting like you're the one making the rules." Is she literally telling you that you can't make the rules on when you will help out? Because that would be an automatic stop from me. I'd start sending "receipts" to how often you help out and let everyone know how she acts. The audacity is strong in that one!
    via LadyJ-78
  • Iheartchocolate37 She's an idiot. How does you asking her to respect your time and life have anything to do with supposedly acting like their mom.
    via Iheartchocolate37
  • rjtnrva LOL, what?? YOU make the rules about when YOU will babysit children who are NOT yours. Bitch, bye.
    via rjtnrva
  • Plus-Trick-9849 That does not even make sense. Her dripping them off unannounced has absolutely nothing to do with mothering them
    via Plus-Trick-9849
  • Karasine-Kabbage NTA. Stop doing stuff for free. Just don't answer your door if she comes over. Also, mom or not, you make the rules for your house
    via Karasine-Kabbage
  • Main-Yogurtcloset242 I'm confused as to how you're being told you're not their mom but expected to drop whatever you're doing to watch them like their responsibility. You may need to remind your sister that she can't have it both ways
    via Main-Yogurtcloset242
  • Neither-Investment95 Her argument makes no sense. No, you're not their mother, therefore your boundary is to ASK first. There are no "rules" in place. And if family thinks you are "abandoning" her, tell them that maybe they should put their hand up to help out
    via Neither-Investment95
  • Less_Storm_7670 Ummm what did it sting for?? It made absolutely no sense on why your sister said that. You told her start asking and not assuming ... and her response was " Your not their mom, stop acting like you the one making the rules " THAT GIVES YOU EVERY REASM TO STOP WATCHING HER KIDS. Ugh I hate when people have no spine
    via Less_Storm_7670
  • shotzi7 NTA. She's taking advantage of you. Stand your ground!
    via shotzi7
  • Key Assignment_9896 The response is the same as hers to you "I am not the mom, I have plans to do things without having to consider free babysitting that I have not agreed to. You are the mom, it is up to you to make sure you have arrangements set." And then stop being available except now and again.
    via Key_Assignment_9896

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family drama accusation drama available mother sisters siblings spending time entitled parent irresponsible parenting aunt entitled family Reddit caring for responsibilties nieces
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