24-year-old girlfriend insists boyfriend clean the house on top of working 2 jobs and paying all the bills: 'The only money she receives comes from her parents'

Advertisement
  • A young man washes a dish in his sink
  • Girlfriend is annoyed that I don't clean the house while working 2 jobs.

    I (26M) have been with my girlfriend (24F) for almost three years, and we've had several rough patches. The first major issue came up when I told her I didn't want to move in together if I was going to be the only one cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, and constantly getting things for her on command, especially when she often refused to even cuddle with me.
  • Another rough period happened a few months ago. At that time, she was doing almost nothing around the house, not even cleaning up after herself. She spent most of her time playing video games and finishing college. In both situations, she talked me out of leaving by saying things would improve.
  • Right now, I work two jobs in a hybrid setup. I pay the rent and all the bills, and I do not ask her for any financial contribution. On top of that, I handle most of the household chores, including cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, and taking out the trash.
  • She is currently unemployed and working on a master's degree that is mostly online. The only money she receives comes from her parents. She said her contribution would be doing the laundry, although she insists on doing it her way. Sometimes she even runs the washing machine two or three times for a single piece of clothing. She also said she would sometimes clean the house, but only with my help.
  • Yesterday, she was very moody and sad, and I could hear it in her voice. I asked her repeatedly to tell me what was wrong. After several minutes, she finally said she was annoyed that if she does not do something around the house, then I do not do it either. She said she expects that if she cleans something, it should stay clean. She also said she would gladly clean the house if it were not so dirty, and that she feels like she has to carry the mental load of knowing what needs to be done in the
  • She also mentioned that she saw a post about someone who works remotely and still cleans the house. For context, she does not have a job, and her master's program is mostly online. She then said that if she eventually gets a job, she does not know what will happen to the house. She made it clear that she does not want to be a stay at home partner whose role is cleaning.
  • What shocked me most was that the only help I am asking for is basic cleaning, and she still complains that I do not do enough while I am working and supporting both of us, while she spends most of her day playing video games and studying occasionally. I ended up cleaning the house alone because I was annoyed, and I'm wondering what's the point of this relationship if Im the only one contributing in any way.
  • A man cooks in his kitchen while using his laptop
  • Commenters gave their two cents on the situation.

    Individual-Subject19 Is this your first real relationship? This is not how they usually are. Things will not remove and you'll be banging your head on the same wall years from now. She needs some to can make her their world no matter what. Can you be that person?
  • Wild_Series 1860 Original Poster's Reply 2nd long relationship, funny enough the other relationship was kinda the same in some aspects
  • Familiar Cheetah4792 I know long-distance diagnoses are wrong and bad, but she sure sounds depressed to me. Unemployed, courses mostly online both mean that she doesn't get out and may have no friends. She lives off her parents, so no job. Those conditions are almost lethal! For her own good she should make changes. Before you throw her out, perhaps you could find one or two services that could help her, therapists, whatever. It's too bad this has gone on so long your patience is exhausted and y
  • Wild Series 1860 Original Poster's Reply She was doing therapy but just stopped, claiming no money for it, told her that she can start therapy again cause we can afford it but thats it, Ive told her months ago that she can and should go for therapy but nothing from her side
  • arghp Is this what you want for the rest of your life?
  • coolkidfresh You definitely need to break up with her. If you're going to be handling everything by yourself then you might as well live alone. You're just helping her pay her way through school essentially. That needs to stop now. Fuck all the empty promises. Don't waste anymore time on this girl.
  • [deleted] For the love of god end this before you have children in this situation
  • Gandalf-The-Grey-- Sounds very much like a one way relationship. A relationship Should go both ways, with each partner doing their part and having enough respect for the person they love to pick up the slack where they can. To me, this person sounds self serving and does not respect you nor appreciate your contribution. You need to have a serious discussion with your partner and if things still don't improve, you may need to consider ending your relationship.
  • como_sellama I don't think you are. Sounds like she just being lazy. Nothing stays clean forever, that's why we have daily cleaning. If the home was cleaned regularly, it wouldn't get so dirty. Anyways, if you're not happy with her contributions to the relationship, then you address them and come to an agreement or start your exit strategy, or else you'll be on this same path for a very long time..
  • willyoureturnit Three years feels like a lot to throw away and then suddenly 25 more years have passed, and you've wasted your best years on a person like this. I'm telling you this from experience. This has nothing to do with cleaning or money. Or gaming or jobs. I see you mentioned quickly that early in the relationship she didn't even want to cuddle with you. Oh boy. Please leave her. You are at a great age to meet someone in the next few years. If you don't, you'd still be happier alone. Als
  • Then-Complaint-1647 "If I clean something, I expect it to stay clean" WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Is she stupid? That's not how that works, you clean things because they get dirty/dusty and then you clean them again. That's how life works. Are you prepared to live with a child for the rest of your life? One that doesn't even want to cuddle and likely either does or will keep you sexually frustrated as well? And treats you like you should feel lucky that she even lets you do everything for her... is t
  • fitz_newru LEAVE
Scroll Down For The Next Article