Ex boyfriend refuses to return $500 he 'borrowed' for Steam Deck he never paid back after tumultuous 5-year relationship: 'I even lowered the amount he owed me so he’d pay me 500 instead of the almost 700 my part actually cost'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 7, 2025 10:00 AM EST

When you're going through a breakup, everything can get messy. Your emotions get all mixed up, and you don't know up from down. It's hard to make decisions clearly, given the amount of emotional distress you're in. This is why we should avoid rash decisions in these states. Sending money is one of them. 

Questions of money are always bound to come up in relationships. You're sharing a life together, so it's only natural that you would share expenses. Each couple has its own way of divvying this up. Maybe you take turns paying for meals. Maybe you have a shared account. Maybe one of you takes on more of the financial burden because you make more money and don't mind spending it on shared expenditures. Either way, you'd better have a good system, because if the relationship ends, you might rethink everything. Especially money that you "lent" or "borrowed." Without a contract, these types of agreements are very hard to keep track of. And when emotions get involved, everything has a way of getting buried. That's what happened in this story. 

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  • A couple fights on the couch, the woman turns her head away.
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • When a couple was breaking up after 5 difficult years, they were both taking stock of the money they might have owed each other. In order to make things fair, the ex-girlfriend came up with a number (less than what she actually deserved). When the ex-boyfriend heard that number, though, he had other ideas in mind. 

  • Am I in the wrong for expecting my ex bf to pay back the money he owes me?

    We broke up 4 months ago after a really turbulent 5-year relationship. He used to spend a lot of money he didn't have, he's super impulsive. He even bought a Steam Deck once without having the money for it, and then basically pushed me into paying for it, telling me he'd "pay me back little by little." In the end I ended up paying almost all of it,
    via u/solellette
  • so I basically just gave it to him as a gift. Well, then he wanted to buy a TV that we absolutely did NOT need, for reasons that to him were super reasonable. I ended up agreeing to pay half for him because he was excited about it.
    via u/solellette
  • When we broke up I asked him to give me back the money that was mine because I really needed it, and he agreed. Later we had an argument when I had to stay at his place for a few days for medical reasons before I could move out (during that argument I said some really harsh things...
    via u/solellette
  • but I was hurting a lot because he had cheated on me 3 times, and he immediately started a situationship with the girl he cheated on me with the last time right after we broke up). This was a month ago, he blocked me everywhere so I blocked him too.
    via u/solellette
  • This Monday I requested a bank transfer through the app so l wouldn't have to talk to him, just for him to pay me back, and he immediately rejected it and only sent me half. Then he texted my sister asking her to tell me to unblock him because he wanted to talk to me, and that's when we had this conversation:
    via u/solellette
  • him: I'm not saying this in a bad way or trying to start an argument, but here's the thing. First, I already sent you 250 because supposedly it was going to be 500. Second, I never asked you to pay me back for the 500 euro mattress, the TV, or the monitor that stayed at your place. I'll see if I send you the other 250 or not, sorry.
    via u/solellette
  • me: don't worry, I'm not saying it in a bad way either. The TV was something you wanted, from the very beginning I only agreed because of you, and it belonged to both of us. The mattress and the TV, I insisted on selling them and you didn't want to, you said you were giving them away, so that's not my responsibility.
    via u/solellette
  • I need the remaining 250€, I told you 4 months ago, I'm broke so I expect them at least next month, thanks. him: Exactly, I didn't want to because I don't consider myself selfish enough to be asking for stuff back.
    via u/solellette
  • me: LOL him: Also, it's not my responsibility that you're broke either. Don't worry, I'll give you your other 250 and that's it. me: perfect, thanks
    via u/solellette
  • It might sound like a dumb question, but I feel bad, like I'm the one taking advantage. I don't know if it's just PTSD from this shitty relationship where he made me feel like the most miserable person in the world, or if I'm actually being mean. I even lowered the amount he owed me so he'd pay me 500 instead of the almost 700 my part actually cost. I don't know.
    via u/solellette
  • TL;DR: I feel guilty and like I might be taking advantage, even though he owes me money. I don't know if it's just trauma from the shitty relationship or if I'm actually being mean, especially since I even lowered the amount he had to pay me.
    via u/solellette
  • A couple argues on the sofa, the woman holds a tissue in her hand.
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Some commenters though that she should attempt to let it go.

    sweetbabyhone... • 35m ago NTA. But, girl, you need to run. If he has convinced you that 'saying harsh things' equates to putting your physical health at risk by cheating, let alone your emotional welfare, you need to not walk but RUN from this.
    via u/sweetbabyhoneypie
  • If you can live without the money, you should. This is not healthy at all and he has clearly started trying to break your spirit even further.
    via u/sweetbabyhoneypie
  • Puzzleheaded D... . 33m ago NTA for wanting money back but u won't get it. Don't loan money u can't afford to gift. U can expect all u want. If he didn't meet ur expectations while u dated, why do u think he will meet them now?
    via u/PuzzleheadedData3023
  • solellette OP • 27m ago I guess I'm a bit dumb and still had hopes that he wasn't a terrible person, but the way he treats me even after he messed up made me realize. You're right
    via u/solellette
  • ShotBad5603 • 22m ago If you did not get him to pay and tell him to pay each time but then lent more then it was all gifts. There was no contact for repayment because while together you did not enforce it Now that your broke up you want to get paid
    via u/ShotBad5603
  • solellette OP. 18m ago ? I did make it clear that the TV was ours from the start, because we bought it because of him.
    via u/solellette
  • Parsnip4872 .33m ago NTA your money your rule. But youre just bitter about how things rolled out (rightfully so), and is currently in need. You can either wait and receive the rest of 259 or decide that this extra 250 isnt worth the stress. Your choice
    via u/Parsnip4872
  • I had my ex asked me for €1- 2k for emotional damage lol which I (not) happily paid for but didnt make a big fuss either
    via u/Parsnip4872
  • solellette OP. 25m ago Oh, I'm not going to talk to him anymore, honestly, that's on his (nonexistent) conscience. I'm not expecting that money anymore, but the way he's treating me even though he's the one who treated me terribly really threw me off.
    via u/solellette
  • Parsnip4872 • 24m ago Yeah the other part is already enough reason to not dwell on it any longer. I believe your stress is worth more than 250!
    via u/Parsnip4872
  • AlwaysHelpful22 • 29m ago He agreed to pay you the 500, which is more than you should expect without a contract. You are stinging from the betrayal. Asking him to pay for a tv that you kept in the breakup seems unreasonable.
    via u/AlwaysHelpful22
  • TerriDIA 28m ago • You can hope he pays you back but in the end that money is gone. Lesson here is don't throw money at bad boyfriends. Cheaters will do just about anything to get what they want and they don't care who gets hurt, that includes taking financial advantage of GF's who put up with their shit.
    via u/TerriDiA

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steam long term relationship relationship advice aita relationship relationship status ex girlfriend money problems relationship-drama ex boyfriend reddit story relationships story reddit thread Reddit money healthy relationship
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