Manager excludes new hire from Friday pizza meeting until she has worked for 90 days, gets annoyed when she tells department head: 'Now there's no more pizza meetings'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jan 16, 2026 9:00 AM EST

It's never easy being the new person in the office.

There are twice as many things to remember as when you are established in a role, or at least, that is what it feels like. Along with trying to remember the training and not make any mistakes, you have to remember names, not get lost in the building, and try to get acclimated to the company culture. It is a lot to take in all at once while attempting to adjust.

As a result, it is a vulnerable time in an individual's career when they really need the support of their colleagues. They can't become part of the team without the team making an effort with them. Too many newbies find that one of the most difficult parts of the job is dealing with their coworkers, simply because they do not like to deal with having somebody else at work. 

Despite teamwork being a skill that most job descriptions insist on, it is not always something that is practiced in the workplace when it comes to welcoming new colleagues. Sometimes, the thing you figure out fastest when you start a job is who has issues and how they are going to relate to you.

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  • four coworkers sit at a table with an open box of pizza and glass bottles on it
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In this story, a woman who had just started a new job was left feeling confused and upset for being excluded from a weekly ritual that the rest of her team participated in. Every Friday, they would get pizza for a meeting where they shared the positives from that working week.

    When she asked her team lead if she could join, she was told that it was tradition to wait three months before a new colleague could join the meeting. The reasoning was that they needed to prove themselves first.

    The next time the meeting took place, the employee was sitting at her desk by herself when the department head saw her and asked why she wasn't with her coworkers. When she told her the truth, the meeting was disbanded, and she wondered if she had done the right thing.

  • Am I wrong for telling my manager I wasn't allowed in a meeting with everybody else?

    So I started this job about a month ago. Pretty normal office gig nothing crazy. I noticed early on that my team does these weekly friday afternoon meetings where they order pizza and go over wins for the week.
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  • Sounded cool. First friday comes around and I ask my coworker what time the meeting is.
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  • She gets kind of weird and says oh actually you cant come to those yet. I asked what she meant and she said the team lead decided new people have to wait 90 days. before joining the friday meetings because they want people to earn their spot.
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  • I thought she was joking but she wasnt. I asked the team lead directly and she confirmed it.
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  • Said its a tradition and that I needed to prove myself first before I could participate in team bonding.
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  • I asked if I had done something wrong and she said no its just how theyve always done it.
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  • high angle view of four coworkers sitting at a table with an open pizza box and glass bottles on it
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • So every friday for the past month Ive been sitting at my desk alone while the rest of the team is in the conference room eating pizza and laughing.
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  • They dont even try to be quiet about it. Someone told me I could order my own food if I wanted which felt like a slap in the face honestly.
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  • Last friday our department head popped in unexpectedly. She saw me sitting at my desk and asked why I wasnt in the meeting with everyone else.
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  • I just told her the truth. I said I wasnt allowed to attend until I hit 90 days.
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  • She looked confused and said thats not a real policy. I shrugged and said I was just told thats the rule.
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  • Apparently she went straight to the team lead after that. Now theres no more friday pizza meetings at all.
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  • The tradition is dead. And everyone knows its because of me. I didnt go out of my way to report anything.
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  • She asked me a question and I answered it.
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  • a young woman sits at a desk with flowers and a coffee cup on it, her face leaning on her hand
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Short-Wing446 a 90 day probation period before youre allowed to eat pizza with your coworkers is genuinely insane. and they deserved to get caught
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  • tiggergirluk76 I mean, it's not because of you at all. It's because of their rule which excludes and isolates new starters.
    via tiggergirluk76
  • Gold_Extension_1751 NTA...u didn't snitch, u literally answered a direct question from the department head. if a tradition dies because it can't handle daylight, it probably sucked in the first place...
    via Gold_Extension_1751
  • W1ldth1ng Not the jerk, they lied to you and deliberately kept you out of their little gathering. You were asked a question by a superior and so answered it with the information you had. They should have been more welcoming. I would suggest looking for a new job as they sound like a toxic bunch. Do your best and keep all communication in texts or e-mails so that you have evidence of your work. They may wel try to find a way to get even.
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  • Clear-Painting-1006 NTA. they played petty games and lost pizza privileges. that's on them.
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  • Remarkable-Bed7817 the fact that they were fine eating together while u sat alone kinda says everything. management finding out is a consequence, not ur fault. NTA.
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  • Turbulent_Guest402 It's not because of you. It's because of them. THEY chose to purposely being bullies in their workplace towards a new colleague. NTJ
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  • Duelntroduction6413 Fuck em, lol. Should make it a friday tradition to fart in your team lead's lunch, or the company fridge.
    via Duelintroduction6413
  • Independent_Soil_256 NTA this was childish hazing in the completely wrong place. People should have been demoted or fired here for creating a hostile work environment.
    via Independent_Soil_256

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terrible coworkers employee manager meeting pizza work coworkers supervisor workplace
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