Mom scolds 18-year-old babysitter for giving her 7-year-old daughter a doll for her birthday because their family doesn't celebrate birthdays: 'I didn't even realize people don't celebrate birthdays.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 17, 2026 8:00 AM EST

She didn't mean anything bad by it.

Not everybody is comfortable with receiving gifts from just anyone. Think about it: would you feel comfortable if your least favorite coworker rolled up to the office on your birthday with a wrapped present in hand? No, that'd be weird. When you're just a regular adult, you need a certain level of closeness with someone before buying and giving them a present, even on their birthday.

There is a whole phenomenon of parents planning their children's birthday party with "no gifts" written on the invitation. It's one of those things that makes sense if your kid has an active social life and is attending a birthday party for a different preschool classmate or soccer teammate every weekend. But if you're only attending a handful of birthday parties every year, it's kind of baffling. What kind of kid's birthday party doesn't involve the birthday boy or girl opening presents and thanking their friends for their mother's purchase of Apples to Apples? Kids shouldn't be robbed of the chance to receive gifts just because their friend's parents overschedule them! 

Then there are those infamous communities who are not only uncomfortable with gifts but with celebrations of any kind. Most of us couldn't imagine a world without Christmas, Yom Kippur, Ramadan, Easter, or Rosh Hashanah, but there are communities that go through the entire year without a singular holiday for festivities. They don't even celebrate holidays that were specifically invented to sell greeting cards!

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  • Girl under cherry blossom tree
    via Karl Fredrickson

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The babysitter in this story works for one of those families that don't celebrate any holidays. She was well aware that Halloween and New Year's were off-limits, but she had no idea that every birthday was sacrilegious. She tried to be generous and give the girl she babysits a birthday gift, but her mother shut that down almost immediately. 

  • Am I the bad guy for getting a kid I babysit a birthday present?

    I (18F) have been babysitting a girl (7F) for like 6 months now. Very sweet kid.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • I have a form I require all parents I babysit for to fill out with general information like emergency contacts
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • As well as their date of birth. A few weeks ago I was contacted by the mother of the girl asking if I could babysit today.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • I agreed I had lost the sheet I keep of the emergency numbers for her specifically so went onto the document to write them down I then saw it was going to be her birthday on the day I babysat her.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • I thought it would be a nice suprise to get her a little birthday gift. I got her a cute little doll.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • When I picked her up from school I gave it to her. She asked if it's because it's her birthday.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • I said yes happy birthday. Looking back she didn't have a very big reaction but I didn't really notice at the time some people just don't have big reactions to things and I don't overthink peoples reactions.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • When we arrived at her house she played with the doll and I got her a snack and put on the Tv for her.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • After a few hours her mother returned home and asked where the doll came from. The daughter said I gave it to her.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • I said yes just a little something because I noticed it was her birthday. The mother was really upset and I was confused by her reaction.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • She took the doll off of the kid and said they don't celebrate birthdays. I felt so bad.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • I didn't even realize people don't celebrate birthdays. She told me to take the doll back so I did.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • She said to never do something like that again or she'll have to find a different babysitter.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • I told her of course and to send me a list of rules and I'll promise to stick to them from now on.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • She messaged me saying not to do anything related to Christmas, New Years, Halloween, Birthdays anything celebratory like that.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • Little kids trick or treating
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I said of course no worries. She then called me saying she knows I didn't know but in any circumstance it would be inappropriate to get a kid a birthday present without even consulting the parent.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • And it's weird of me to do. I again apologised saying I promise I didn't mean to upset them or go against their values.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • But she said I did anyway though and how would I like it if I had a kid and someone completely violated my trust by going against my way of life.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • Woman in front of a window
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I said I would hate that. And she said I should think before I do things.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • I said I definitely will in future. She hasn't yet paid me she usually pays right after I leave.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • Is it a common thing not to celebrate these things? I never knew people didn't celebrate birthday.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • I knew about holidays but birthdays I had no clue.
    via u/Narrow_Medicine_7283
  • Wen60s Seems to me the mom should have told you that in the beginning. How on earth would you know? Like what if you wore a Christmas sweater in December? If it's that big a deal, she should have told you in the first place.
    via u/Wen60s
  • Aggressive_Fly_8377 You're NTA, there's something weird going on there ●●
    via u/Aggressive_Fly_8377
  • pr0tectionspell NTAH at all and please get that woman to pay you !!!!
    via u/pr0tectionspell

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present birthday doll parenting babysitting trouble holidays boss daughter mom
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