Grandma leaves $70k to one great-grandchild and $20k to others, dad worries about uneven split: 'This seems to be a recipe for resentment'

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  • an elderly woman sits on a bench on a pathway in a garden, next to a large hedge
  • How do I handle an extremely uneven inheritance between my kids?

    My wife's grandmother just passed away. According to her will, each of her grandkids is set to inherit 50k each, and each of her grandkids 20k each, with one exception: one child, we'll call her Kid 1.
  • Kid 1 is biologically the daughter of one of my wife's cousins, and was adopted by my wife before we got married, but we're raising her together.
  • Kid 1's biological mother has since passed. Because of this history, my wife's grandmother made the decision that Kid 1 should count as both a grandchild and a great-grandchild, which means both a grandchild portion and a great grandchild portion.
  • Great! One problem. My wife and I have 3 other children, my son from a previous relationship, and two kids together.
  • So of our kids, Kid 1 gets 70k, Kid 2 gets nothing (not related to her), and Kids 3 and 4 get 20k each.
  • This seems to me to be a recipe for resentment. How do I handle this as a parent?
  • Ninja edit: Pooling and splitting isn't legally an option nor do we view it as necessarily the right thing to do.
  • My wife's portion is also not available as we desperately need to start retirement savings for her.
  • We're in our late 30s. I have barely 10k in a 401k and she doesn't have one at all.
  • a mom, dad, and two young daughters sit together in a hammock in a backyard, the mom kissing one of the daughters on her head
  • Ok_Play2364 How old are the kids?
  • lookidceither Original Poster's Reply Kid 1 is 16, kid 2 is 17, kid 3 is 5 and kid 4 is 3.
  • New_Second_7580 Do your kids even know how much they're supposed to get? Just don't tell them and put it in a trust
  • lookidceither Original Poster's Reply Kid 1 knows. Kids 3 and 4 are too young right now. Kid 2 it hasn't come up yet but there's no way it never will.
  • SeatSix This. And if they are minors, do they get the money now? Is it in a trust?
  • lookidceither Original Poster's Reply All 3 are going in 529s.
  • basalgangliadecide Doesn't sound like they "count as a child and great grandchild" it sounds like they are getting their own inheritance and their deceased biological mother's inheretence as well. Dead simple.
  • brittanylouwhoooo Kid 1 doesn't "count as both a grandchild and a great grandchild". Kid 1's biological mother is deceased, so they also inherited their biological mother's share. The other 2 inherit their own share. Hopefully everyone can be empathetic for Kid 1s situation, since it seems they had a bit of a turbulent start at life and their consolation for having to be adopted by a family member and subsequently losing their own biological mother is inheriting a bit more money than the others.
  • 666icarus- Honestly man. Talk to the kids 1 on 1 when they're old enough to inherit the money. Don't tell them about what anyone who got more than them got. If they chose as adults to tell each other then that is on them to navigate and you can just be as supportive as possible without breeding resentment in young children who don't know better
  • LA-forthewin Your grandmother has the right to dispose of her assets the way she wants. Respect her wishes. Instead you can focus on saving up more for the ones that didn't get anything and look at it this way, instead of trying to figure out how to pay for college or whatever for 4 kids, you only need to worry about one.
  • Rioting Moon One kid lost parents and got that inheritance share. nuff said

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