35-year-old demands her 29-year-old sister pay up after she plans and books an expensive family vacation without input: ‘When I asked why it was so expensive, she said they upgraded to a nicer place’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jan 18, 2026 11:00 AM EST

Family vacations are supposed to be the rare time everyone relaxes together, which is why they so often begin with a spreadsheet and end with someone crying in a parking lot. In this case, the trouble started the moment a 35-year-old sister announced a big summer trip, added the whole extended family to a group chat, and presented it like a cute surprise rather than what it actually was, a completed purchase.

The 29-year-old sister lives in another city, got added to the chat too, and assumed she would help pick dates or at least vote on a budget. Instead she watched the decisions arrive like a weather report. Location chosen. Dates locked. Hotel booked. Not a single question directed at her, just upbeat updates as if she were a guest invited to applaud.

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  • Pensive young woman leaning on a couch and looking down
    via Gabriel Ponton

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My sister (35F) decided to organize a big "family vacation" this summer. She created a group chat with our parents, cousins, aunts, everyone.
    via RipoVexley77

  • Am I in the wrong for refusing to pay for my sister’s “family vacation” after I was excluded from planning?

    I'm 29F and live in another city, but I was added too. At first it sounded nice.
    via RipoVexley77
  • Then I realized all decisions were already made. Location picked. Dates picked. Hotel booked. I wasn't asked about anything, just informed.
    via RipoVexley77
  • A week later my sister messaged me privately and said everyone needs to send their share.
    via RipoVexley77
  • My part was not small. When I asked why it was so expensive, she said they upgraded to a nicer place because "family deserves comfort." I told her I wasn't comfortable paying for a trip I had zero input in.
    via RipoVexley77

  • Then came the private message that turned the whole thing from awkward to transactional. Everyone needs to send their share. Her share was not small. When she asked why it cost so much, she got a justification that belongs on a framed sign in a luxury lobby, the family upgraded because family deserves comfort. Translation: you are paying for someone else’s taste.

  • Young woman sitting on a couch and looking down pensively
    via Pablo Merchán Montes

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I would have suggested cheaper dates or even skipping this year. She got upset and said I'm ruining the vibe and being difficult.
    via RipoVexley77

  • The refusal was simple and reasonable. She is not comfortable funding a trip she had no say in. She would have suggested cheaper dates, a different hotel, or even skipping a year and doing something smaller. Her sister heard that as sabotage, accused her of killing the vibe, and treated basic budget boundaries like a personal attack.

  • Now my parents are calling me selfish and saying this is what adults do for family.
    via RipoVexley77

  • That is where the rest of the family joined in, because nothing unites a clan like pressuring the one person who says no. The parents called her selfish and said this is what adults do for family. But adults also ask before they volunteer someone else’s wallet, and they do not confuse surprise with consent.

  • I said adults also communicate before spending other people's money. Am I the jerk for refusing to pay and probably not going at all?
    via RipoVexley77
  • TL;DR: My sister planned a full family vacation without asking me anything and now expects me to pay my share.
    via RipoVexley77

  • If this trip is truly about togetherness, it can survive a conversation about cost and options. If it cannot, then it was never a family vacation, it was a group purchase with a guilt clause baked in.

  • I said no.
    via RipoVexley77
  • Solid_Mongoose9285 NTA at all, your sister basically went shopping with your credit card without asking That's not how group trips work - you don't just book everything then send everyone a bill like they're your personal ATM
    via RipoVexley77
  • Adelucas "Sorry sis, those dates and price don't work for me. Have a great time and send me lots of pics". End of discussion. Your sister sounds rude and entitled. Organising stuff without even checking people can take the time off on those dates and have the budget? Get out of here. Full family vacations at your age are a pain anyway. Someone (your sister) decides what activities you are going to do and you get no say. If you want to do things on your own you are made to feel guilty and end up
    via RipoVexley77
  • intolerablefem Another "ruining the vibe" bs Ai post on a brand new account.
    via RipoVexley77
  • silky_kisss A family vacation you weren't consulted on is just a group trip you're being billed for. Hard pass
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  • Popular_Math3042 Classic Al story
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  • Select_Draw3385 YTA for being Al
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  • reewrites Al slop
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  • HuffN_puffN If you didn't think this was Al reading it, the end cemented it as always. It's always someone who wasn't involved in the conversation that comes and goes banans on OP. While everyone on reddit agrees with OP. Good try, but nope.
    via RipoVexley77
  • runnerkim Ah yes, the old now my family is upset line. How many times are we going to see the same story?
    via RipoVexley77
  • FinnFinnFinnegan NTA go on your own vacation
    via RipoVexley77

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family drama tradition siblings family feud sister trip summer vacation vacation
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