Part-time employee gets promoted above dismissive colleague, then ignores colleague's attempts to become friends: ‘I'm driving her crazy by gray rocking her’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 24, 2026 9:00 AM EST

A revenge in the shape of a promotion.

It's almost impossible to get along with all of your coworkers, and that is okay. You don't have to be best friends with the people you see every day at the office; you don't even have to be friendly. What you do have to be is professional.

That is the only must when it comes to a workplace relationship. It doesn't matter if you absolutely love or hate each other; if you have to work together, you have to be able to act professionally around each other, no work will ever get done properly otherwise. 

When the colleagues in the story below started working together, things between them went quite smoothly; they shared an office, bantered, and maintained a friendly vibe while also successfully working with one another. At some point, for some reason, the dynamic shifted, and one of the colleagues crossed the uprofessional line. Instead of respecting her coworker, this employee started leaving her out of meetings and conversations, ignoring her requests, and altogether became outright hostile. 

This led her coworker to consider looking for another job, but before she managed to do that, she was actually offered a promotion. This was a great opportunity, so the coworker took the promotion, which led her to a role that was ranked higher than her entitled colleague. Safe to say, the colleague was not happy about the shift, but she no longer had the power to disrespect her coworker. 

Instead of giving the entitled coworker a taste of her own medicine, the promoted employee decided to do the exact opposite. She acted entirely professionally, but never friendly, towards the entitled coworker, and showed her exactly how you're supposed to act at a workplace, even if you do not get along.

After being on the receiving end of the cold shoulder for a while, it was clear that it was getting to the colleague, who all of a sudden returned to the friendly attitude she had when these two just started working together. Unfortunately for her, it was way too late to take all her entitled actions back and return to being friends…

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  • a woman standing in front of a window in an office
    via SJ Objio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I was promoted above my dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her

    I (F36) have a colleague Jamie (F43). I started 3.5 years ago at our org and she came on not long after.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • I began part-time in my role doing fundraising while was full-time in administration. We're on a team of 7 people, so pretty small, and I'm the only fundraising person there.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • Our org is probably around 50 or so altogether. At first things were good. We shared an office, bantered, talked about our weekends and little casual life stuff.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • Totally friendly vibes. Then a year ago, I started sensing a power dynamic shift. I was growing in my role and starting to take more initiative even being part-time.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • At this point she started leaving me out of important fundraising-related meetings and conversations, despite her not having any fundraising expertise and an entirely unrelated role.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • Any time I'd try to get information or remind her to include me, she would either talk around the issue, do it once and then "forget", or ignore me altogether.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • She would also put wildly inappropriate numbers in our budget and resist any feedback from me about how to adjust them.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • One time in a meeting Jamie spouted some completely inaccurate, wildly overblown fundraising numbers and I gently corrected it, saying something like "To clarify, we're still in discussions about these numbers so things might shift".
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • She turned to me with a nasty expression and shut me down by whispering something rude that only I could
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • For various reason I won't get into, going to our cynical, checked- out boss wasn't a good option, and HR doesn't really exist at our org.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • My part-time role meant I also had little power. I decided to start looking for a new job.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • But then a full-time person on a different team had to take medical leave, and I offered to step in and cover some of her work for a few months.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • Ultimately I was offered her job and moved into a full-time position. The org even let me help rewrite the job description so I could continue doing some fundraising plus her job, and have my own assistant to share the load!
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • It was a big promotion for our kind of nonprofit org. I even got my own office while Jamie had to keep sharing with two other people, which I'll admit felt good.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • And while I'm not totally sure, I'm pretty certain I'm making more than Jamie now too.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • Now Jamie only gets a half smile and a curt "hey" when I arrive at work.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • I don't even stop by her office to say hi or goodnight, and we only speak when necessary.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • I also started signing off all my emails to her with "Best" instead of "Thanks", and am completely boring and neutral- professional around her.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • Meanwhile, my new assistant (for whom I wrote the job description and got to help interview and hire!) is absolutely fantastic.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • I took her out to lunch the other day to celebrate her first few months here.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • As she was about to go back into her office she now shares with Jamie, she asked if we could do lunch more regularly.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • beautiful young woman talking on smart phone while working with coworker
    via Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I said, "Sure, let's make it monthly!" Jamie was in there to overhear the whole thing and I honestly hope she did.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • She ain't getting any lunch with me - that's something you gotta earn by being a good colleague, and she's been nothing but dismissive and disrespectful to me.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • I can tell it's getting to her. She has been over performing friendliness to me, fishing for me to get chummy again, and sharing news of any tiny donations coming in as if we should be jumping up and down screaming like children at recess.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • I'm always extremely calm and cordial to her, and always collaborative in meetings. She continues ignoring any emails where I remind of something or give a directive without a question.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • I know I'm getting under her skin and she knows I have more power now. I would never sabotage her but it feels good knowing she feels intimidated and unstable.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • She should! This is what happens when you're an insecure, rude colleague at work.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • consulent-finanziar This is the kind of quiet low effort revenge that works precisely because it stays professional and lets the other person sit with the consequences of their own behavior :-
    via consulent-finanziar
  • ThrowRAmangos2024 Original Poster's Reply Agreed! And I'm not doing anything to purposely get to her, I'm just being myself in my new role and have withdrawn the warmth she hasn't earned. The petty side of me is glad she's feeling thrown. Maybe someday I'll evolve enough not to even care lol.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • wakeuptomorrow It's also a great way to manage the energy you put into dealing with difficult people like that. You give them nothing +
    via wakeuptomorrow
  • ThrowRAmangos2024 Original Poster's Reply Exactly! Like, she completely lost access to my warmth. I'm really bad at faking warmth. I can be cordial and professional and respectful, but if you want friendly and warm me then you need to treat me like a human being. My colleague hasn't done that for almost a year, so gray rocking is honestly a self-protective strategy. Not gonna lie I have enjoyed the change in power dynamic and wallowed in that a bit, but I'm certainly not going to become some gia
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • iaMBictrochee I love it! This reminds me of a plaque my dad had in his office... "Be mindful that the toes you step on today might be connected to the ass you might have to kiss tomorrow."
    via iaMBictrochee
  • ThrowRAmangos2024 Original Poster's Reply Too true! I've never understood why anyone would want a colleague to not succeed on a project we're all doing together. WE ALL BENEFIT! But as it is, I'm really glad I no longer have to worry about being in a "lesser" position (never should have been made to feel that way anyway). And I will admit the side of me that was wronged over and over is glad that she is on her toes now.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024
  • Vivid-Topaz-731 isn't it so strange when ppl act this way? i mean everyone is on the same team, ya know? you'd think everyone wants the place to be successful.
    via Vivid-Topaz-731
  • ThrowRAmangos2024 Original Poster's Reply I know! Like if she kept making up fake numbers for fundraising it was going to hurt all of us.
    via ThrowRAmangos2024

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promotion boss workplace-stories employee manager job tales-from-the-workplace coworkers colleague workplace company entitled people
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