There are many moments during a marriage that can determine the outcome of that relationship. Some things you say cannot be unsaid. Some things you do might end up being the reason your relationship loses trust and care. Heck, some things you don't do can have the same effect.
Here, you see a husband putting a fun trip over the well-being of his partner. A woman who is only 4-months postpartum should not be left to figure things out on her own, period. You should especially not leave your postpartum wife alone with two very young kids. She is mentally putting everything she can into being there for all of the new and old lives in her life. Now, with her husband gone for 2-weeks, she will have to give all of her physical strength, too.
So far, he has been gone for a little less than a week, and she is “struggling." She wants to be the perfect mother who can do it all and is totally fine being left alone with her babies. She wants to be the cool wife who supports her husband's hobbies and what makes him happy. However, she is still just a person. A person who just went through insane hormonal ups and downs and an extreme physical change. How is she supposed to be the best wife and mother when she doesn't even have someone to take shifts with the baby so she can sleep for at least a little bit?
This mother seems to be confused. She is worried that she is being “lazy” or is “too dependent” on her husband for parenting help. However, the fellow parents in the comment section beg to differ!
Man in hunting gear outside leaning against a tree.
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Husband gone hunting and I’m STRUGGLING
This mother's call for help could have been avoided if her husband was simply there for her. Don't you agree?
We have a two-year-old and a four-month-old, and my husband has a two-week hunt… this particular hunt only comes around about every 10 years where we live (but he hunts every year, throughout the year, nonetheless). I don’t mind him hunting and doing what he loves, but in this season of life it is just SO much on me. I was crushing it and making the best of it the first 3 days… but now it’s day 4, baby has been up all night the last 3 nights, and I’m exhausted and miserable. For this trip, he’ll be gone 5 nights, then home for 3 nights, then gone again for 6. Luckily, my mom was able to come stay with me and the kids for the first 5 nights, but I am absolutely dreading the coming 6, and I feel like I just cannot do it.
Asking for a night off as a new parent is totally fine. Heck, even a weekend, sure. If you two plan well enough ahead, then why not?
But leaving your partner with two young babies for two whole weeks just to be in the woods with your homies? That is bold.
Mother with two children of different ages.
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It's already difficult to keep your confidence up when entering parenthood. Are you being a good parent? Are you doing everything you can? This is when a supportive partner would come in handy.
Should I be able to? Should this be totally doable, and I’m just… lazy? Too dependent?? I’m asking him to not go back out after the first 5, and if he wants to hunt during the day, then go for it, but I need him home at night.
I should add that we have an awesome marriage otherwise. We’re solid on literally everything else… BUT hunting. He’s crazy busy with work, but when he’s home, he’s helpful with the kids.
I don't know… I think I would be absolutely LIVID if my partner did this to me.
Father holding his baby, both wearing white.
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What could be a good compromise in this situation?
My suggestion for a compromise (just in this season of life while we have tiny kids at home) was to not have any overnight trips while we have a baby under 6 months, and then cap any other overnight trips at 3 nights. He thought this was an INSANE proposition. We are so lost. What am I missing?
A good marriage takes compromise.
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