'Saying I'm only considering her looks': Girlfriend pressures her former elite-swimmer boyfriend to get back in shape so she can "show him off", so he requests the same physical standards from her, sparking argument over double standards when she refuses

In any relationship, toxic or squeaky clean, most couples will still likely experience this little thing known as "double standards."

Now, it may sound daunting, but it's actually a lot more common than most people think. We're just so used to double standards in our daily lives that we unknowingly seem to sweep them under the rug. No questions asked.

How impolite of me…for those who don't know, a "double standard", according to the Oxford dictionary, is "a rule or principle which is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups." I'll put it in Gen Z terms so it's easier to understand. It's kind of like giving a friend boy advice, but then doing the exact opposite when it comes to your own dating life, and seeing zero problem with it. Rules apply to some but not to others.

As I discussed previously, this type of behavior is a lot more present in relationships than people are willing to admit. Often, a man or woman will behave in a certain way: leaving dirty dishes in the sink, staying out until the early hours without texting, or simply criticizing any of their partner's habits. But if their partner had to do the same…they'd be walking into a snakepit!

So who decides what's acceptable for one person, but not for another?

Here's a perfect example of a double standard in action:
This boyfriend, in his early thirties, has had a great history in the swimming pool. But we're not talking tanning by the pool with a Mojito, we're talking about a former Division 1 swimmer who almost reached the Olympics. So, yes, he was in pretty good shape during his prime swimming years. Despite no longer being in “peak” condition (aka rock-hard abs), he remains active and successful. His girlfriend has a newfound passion for trying to pressure him to “get back into shape,” just after her bestie began dating a fit personal trainer. Despite trying to explain to her that he has other priorities at the moment that do not allow him to spend 5 hours a day in a sweaty gym, she continues to push.
So how does he respond? In the most logical way he knows how, by committing to get back in shape if she does too. Not criticizing her figure, but her lack of fitness and stamina. Suddenly, she's accusing him of only caring about her “looks”… It's giving slightly hypocritical, don't you think? Or, for lack of a better term: Double Standards!
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AITAH for saying that my girlfriend needed to get in shape too if she expected it from me.

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