Freshly single mom tries to make her son pay off a $40,000 car loan she and her ex-boyfriend mismanaged, refusing to sell the car for $15k and demanding he cover the full amount: ‘She’s demanding that I drain my savings’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jan 22, 2026 3:00 PM EST

Boyfriend gifts mom a new car with a sky-high loan, only for her son to get stuck paying the full amount after the relationship falls apart, along with the arrangement.

The car was supposed to be a birthday present, but the numbers were never quite right. The original deal was that the son and his mom's boyfriend would split the monthly payments, but that lasted just three months before the son was left holding the bag. He's been paying $510 every month since, even though the car was never really his choice and the loan was way bigger than it should have been. When he tried to transfer the loan to his name, the interest would have added another $10,000, so they both agreed to leave it as is. Now, with bills tighter and a better deal on a used car, he's looking to move on.

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  • Man gazing into the distance with a concerned expression
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  • AITA for sticking my freshly single mom with $20,000 of debt.

    I, 19M have been paying off a car loan from my mom, 40F, since I turned 16.
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  • The mom, freshly single and struggling to find a job, is furious that he wants out. She insists he owes her for the “gift” and refuses to sell the car, even though she could get $14,000 to $15,000 for it. She’s demanding he drain his savings to cover a debt he never agreed to, blaming him for her own bad decisions. The son feels guilty, but he also knows he shouldn’t be punished for someone else’s financial mistakes.

  • She "gifted" me a new 2022, current year, Nissan Sentra for my birthday. I foolishly never asked how much she signed for because I had assumed that her financially knowledgeable boyfriend at the time would know what he was doing at the dealership.
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  • He did not. The original MSRP for my car capped at around $20,000, out the door they walked away with a $40,000 car loan.
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  • They put nothing down and had a 10% interest rate Becuase my mom's credit was bad and she had no job.
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  • But even accounting that the math never made sense to me. The payments every month was $510.
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  • Frustrated woman arguing with someone while driving
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I didn't care because the original deal was that me and my mom's boyfriend would split the monthly note.
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  • That lasted for all of 3 months until I was stuck paying the entire thing and have been since that day.
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  • About a year ago I went to the bank with my mom to try to transfer the loan from her name to mine but since the interest would be recalculated and would add about $10,000 to the loan we both agreed to not do it.
    via Mrmoneyman86
  • I moved out at 18 and live with a roommate but bills have been tighter. My girlfriend's mom suggested that I look for a new car that's more in budget and I found a used 2025 carola with 10k miles for $18k.
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  • A better car for cheaper than what I would be paying off of my current car.
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  • Woman feeling anxious while driving after a stressful day
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  • I told my mom that I was planning to get a new car and if she wanted to sell my current car it would be her decision and she lost her shit.
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  • The real issue isn’t just the money, it’s the responsibility. The son never agreed to pay off a loan that was the result of poor choices made by adults. The mom’s refusal to sell the car and her demands for repayment highlight a pattern of shifting blame. Sometimes the hardest part isn’t the debt, it’s watching someone refuse to take responsibility for their own decisions. The son’s guilt is understandable, but he shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s mistakes.

  • Saying how it's my responsibility and that it was a "gift" for me and how she "saved" me $10,000 by not transferring the loan.
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  • The biggest elephant is that she's freshly divorced and is looking for a job to support her two younger girls.
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  • I told her she can sell the car for about $14-$15k but she refuses and is demanding that I drain my savings to pay for a car that I never agreed to pay for and ultimately was their terrible financial decision.
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  • On one hand I don't feel like I owe her anything and never truly got along with my mom so it is what it is.
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  • On the other hand I feel guilty for kicking her while she's down. Looking for unbiased opinions.
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  • Thank you.
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  • dorepond Go park the Sentra in her driveway, hand her the keys, and walk away. You let her problems become your problems. This is your out.
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  • Mrmoneyman86 Original Poster's Reply God bless you
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  • wesmorgan1 As long as your name is NOT on the loan or title, it's not your car. It's her car (and her boyfriend's, if he's on the loan/title), which makes it her obligation. NTA.
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  • Mrmoneyman86 Original Poster's Reply Nope the car is not tied to me at all aside from my insurance that lapses tomorrow and it being in my driveway. God bless you.
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  • Noooo000000000001 How is it a gift if you're paying the full note? Nta
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  • Mrmoneyman86 Original Poster's Reply It's quoted for a reason, I know damn well it's not a gift but that's what she claims it to be. God bless you
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  • Strict-Amoeba 1791 Bills are tight so the solution is an $18k vehicle? Christ brother, get a clunker for $5k and drive the wheels off of it.
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  • Mrmoneyman86 Original Poster's Reply Very solid point but I can afford the corala comfortably and I know it's going to outlive me so in me eyes it's a solid decision
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  • PalmSizedTriceratops You might want to think about not letting the insurance lapse. If you do and you are uninsured for any amount of time (even when not owning a car) insurance companies count that against you and your rates will be even higher when you do get insured again.
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  • Mrmoneyman86 Original Poster's Reply You saying to reinsure my Sentra and then transfer it to my new car?
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  • Greenman_on_LSD Either you keep hearing someone sneeze or you're from the US Southeast. God, bless you
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  • Mrmoneyman86 Original Poster's Reply The latter
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  • facadelina If you expect the tantrum and the blowback that will come you can weather this storm. Mom was buying praise and adoration for herself.
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  • Mrmoneyman86 Original Poster's Reply I don't live with her so that block button will be calling my name
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  • PalmSizedTriceratops Yeah. Or ask your insurance agent about a cheaper policy for you when you don't own a car to maintain coverage.
    via Mrmoneyman86
  • Mrmoneyman86 Original Poster's Reply Sounds good. Thank you beast, god bless you
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  • Tassle15 That's a pretty big mistake to take on as charity. For your stage in life 20k is everything. 20k is a lot for anyone. If it's not in your name legally it's not your responsibility. Morally you never agreed to pay for it. But your past actions gave her hope you would.
    via Mrmoneyman86
  • Mrmoneyman86 Original Poster's Reply That's why I'm conflicted. I only ever paid for it because I didn't have a choice. She never talked to me about how much I'd be paying and at the time it was my only major expense so in my mind it was what it was. But I appreciate your comment, god bless you.
    via Mrmoneyman86
  • Charming_Garbage_161 If they get extras on the car like gap coverage, extra warranties, and amenities for the car like mud flaps, mats, etc. can easily drive the price up 10k or more and then add tax, temporary tag they always charge you for.
    via Mrmoneyman86
  • Mrmoneyman86 Original Poster's Reply Bingo
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family drama single mother car ex boyfriend family feud loan son
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