Roommate asks for $60/month to do her chores, doesn't understand why other roommates refuse: 'We are all adults and should be cleaning after ourselves'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 8, 2026 10:00 PM EST

Most roommate disputes happen because something isn't clean.

You know this if you've ever been a roommate. Most of it can be avoided if the house were fully clean. But the minute there are dishes in the sink and dirt on the floors, issues start to arise. There is no perfect way to split up chores. One person is just going to end up doing more than the other, and that's just the way it is. It's simply the price you pay for being the one who cares a little bit more about how clean the apartment is. But if you're not okay with that, then you have to work something else out. It's not your fault for caring, but it is the responsibility of everyone involved to communicate. Communication is key, especially in roommate relationships. If you let that fall to pieces, then you're letting everything else fall to pieces. 

Some of this can be resolved through money. If you have enough disposable income to hire a professional cleaner, then this would probably clear up a lot of issues. If the place is clean, then there is little else you have to worry about, besides common courtesy. But if your basic needs are met, then you have more room for error. But what if the professional cleaner was actually one of you? Would you pay your roommate to do a little extra around the house, or is that a violation of the basic roommate code? That's what was being asked here.

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  • A woman holds a bucket of cleaning supplies going up the stairs in her home
    via Josue Michel

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • What started as a debate about cleanliness around the apartment turned into somewhat of a business proposal. Some of the roommates weren't picking up the slack around the apartment, and it was starting to cause some cracks in the friendship. No one wants to feel silently resentful when they're puttering around their own home. But this can happen when you share a space with someone, especially when sharing a bathroom. That would put unnecessary stress on everyone, so one roommate came up with what she thought was a simple solution. But her roommates weren't exactly game. Read on for the story and see what you think.

  • Am I in the wrong for not paying $60 a month for my roommate to clean after herself?

    I [F,30] moved in with my friend (chloe,28), her bf (jason, 32) and his brother (28). I told chloe if she has any problems to talk to me (surprise surprise there's problems). After moving in, I found out the brother got his own bathroom. So 3 of us share a bathroom. I started out cleaning after myself. Doing my own dishes, taking out the kitchen garbage, sweep/mop the floors.
    via u/AdTimely9869
  • After a few months, Chloe told me she would clean the dishes, sweep/mop the floors. She said she felt like the dishes and floors are clean only if she does them herself. After sometime, I felt like i haven't been helping enough. She told me i could help with vacuuming (which i do) and clean the shared bathroom. I agreed I could help out a bit more.
    via u/AdTimely9869
  • This is where I might be the asshole. I stopped cleaning the bathroom as thoroughly/often as i used to. Chloe and her bf use it alot more than me and it felt like they weren't cleaning it at all. Theres beard hair in/around the sink. I hardly use the garbage, yet it gets full in 2 days. Theres used
    via u/AdTimely9869
  • TP and feminine products, which i dont need/use because im on birth control. I feel like I shouldn't have to pick up a garbage full of used toilet paper and hygiene products that arent mine. So I stopped doing it. I clean the toilet every once in a while, and if I make it dirty I clean it.
    via u/AdTimely9869
  • Fast forward to this week. I get approached by Jason who says Chloe has been stressed with the chores and wants each of us to pay $60 a month so that she can do all the chores. I told Jason that I was able to help her out but she tells me she doesnt want my help because she wanted to do them.
    via u/AdTimely9869
  • We had a meeting about the chores today. I offered new ideas to help with chores like telling eachother when we do chores, Chloe she said she doesnt like the idea much. I said we could try a chore list/schedule, that was shot down right away. They brought back the idea of paying her.
    via u/AdTimely9869
  • I had said if we all cleaned after ourselves right away that I wouldnt mind cleaning the bathroom as much. I believed this would help with Chloes stress too. She said that is not realistic and our household doesnt work like that. I asked what her concerns were and she said it would defeat the purpose of cleaning the bathroom, that she
    via u/AdTimely9869
  • would be the one doing it. I tried to explain it would be scrubbing/deep cleaning instead of cleaning after everyones mess. She was not on board. So we went back to the idea of paying her. I said I would be more comfortable paying $40 a month per person instead of $60. She said she would think about it. They knew I am moving out next month but had just brought up the issue this week.
    via u/AdTimely9869
  • A woman in yellow gloves cleans a shelf in her apartment
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I feel this is such a simple problem that's been blown up. We are all adults and should be cleaning after ourselves. So im asking you reddit, AITA for not cleaning upafter my roommates? AITA for not wanting to pay $60 a month? TLDR: roommates want me to pay $60 a month for my roommate to do the chores that we should be splitting up.
    via u/AdTimely9869

  • Commenters gave their takes on the situation.

    nefarious_planet ESH. If Chloe insists on doing certain chores herself and refuses to allow others to do them, she doesn't have standing to complain and asking for money is ridiculous.
    via u/nefarious_planet
  • You asked Chloe to tell you what chores she wanted you to do, and she did....and then you quit doing it because you decided you didn't want to anymore, after previously complaining that you didn't feel you were helping enough. You and Chloe are both being difficult. I feel bad for Jason's brother.
    via u/nefarious_planet
  • Historical-Comp... Why are the women only doing chores in this house?
    via u/Historical-Composer2
  • Sami_George Wait you're moving out in a month?? Why is this even an issue, then? I don't know where she's getting $60 per person from, seems arbitrary.
    via u/Sami_George
  • And the fact that you've come up with reasonable alternatives and were shot down is just sketchy. If she wants to do it all herself, that's on her, but she doesn't get to demand profit from it if that's not what everyone else wants to do. NTA and this won't even be a problem in a month.
    via u/Sami_George
  • Wise-Matter9248 This is why they say "Be friends with your roommates, not roommates with your friends" It's a lot harder to be up front with someone who you don't want to damage a relationship with.
    via u/Wise-Matter9248
  • Ok-Star-5561 You're moving out. Why do you care!?? Paying a friend $120+ a month to clean is IMO ridiculous....i wouldn't. Weird dynamics there. Just as well you're out soon!
    via u/Ok-Star-5561
  • lordmwahaha Hard to judge, because tbh. she did give you a chore (a pretty light one, tbh) and you stopped doing it because you didn't feel like it was "fair" (never mind the fact that she does dishes, which is usually the biggest
    via u/lordmwahaha
  • chore in any house). At this point I understand why she doesn't really trust you to help. She trusted you once before and you kinda let her down. I'm not sure about paying HER to clean, though. It would be more reasonable if she wanted to pay for a maid and wanted you to contribute, since you ARE also contributing to the mess.
    via u/lordmwahaha
  • avatar_korra NTA. She is being controlling and acting like the only solution is to pay her. Don't pay her. Just move out and say you will manage your own chores. Keep in mind she has more ppl in her corner and they may gang up on you.
    via u/avatar_k0rra
  • AwooWooKaChoo You're moving out in a month and the problem solves itself. This isn't worth a long drawn out situation at this point. For judgement, ESH. There's such terrible communication from everyone.
    via u/AwooWooKaChoo
  • They should have talked to you if there was an issue from the start. Typically people sort out chores when folks move in together "alright so how are we doing housework" and then you stick to it and communicate if something changes.
    via u/AwooWooKaChoo
  • You could have asked him to not leave beard hair all over the sink or spoke up when you felt the arrangement wasn't fair. By not saying. anything and just stopping - I could see why they're suspect on a new chore arrangement and are over the whole thing.
    via u/AwooWooKaChoo
  • It's one more month. It shouldn't be too hard to find a temporary peace or decide you just dgaf and leave it behind in a month.
    via u/AwooWooKaChoo
  • Financial_Bowl9... Kinda? Only because you said you would clean the bathroom and decided to stop doing so because you didn't want to clean up after roommates when that was the deal you had made. Chloe is cleaning up after
    via u/Financial_Bowl9440
  • everyone else. I'm sure it's frustrating to her to have you ask to help and then not follow through. Or pick a different room in the house to clean? If you're moving out next month anyways does it matter?
    via u/Financial_Bowl9440
  • nasnedigonyat You're leaving. This isn't an issue that needs to be discussed. Don't pay and then leave and in the next place you live define the chores right away. Btw if Chloe wants 120 bucks a month to clean you're better off paying a service to come once a month.
    via u/nasnedigonyat
  • Murderous_Inten... I mean. NTA, but "no" is a full sentence. "Pay me $60 to do chores." "No." But I agree you guys do need to figure out "common courtesy" that if you make a mess to pick it up just to be respectful. I don't know if they'll agree to that. It sounds like it's a deeper issue.
    via u/Murderous_Intention7

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cleaning clean bad roommate living together bad roommates chores roommates money
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