Mom wants to cancel dinner with her best friend because she's too accommodating to her picky-eating child, instead of teaching the child to be grateful and eat what she's offered

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Nov 13, 2026 12:30 PM EST

A mom and her daughter regularly go to a friend's house for dinner. The daughter is a picky eater, so the friend is accommodating and makes a separate meal for her. The mom is considering not going anymore because her friend is too considerate and is making her daughter wonder why her mom doesn't cook a separate meal for her, as her friend does. 

Why is it that some parents blame others for their kids being spoiled when they are the ones who are not doing the parenting correctly? 

It's normal for children to be picky eaters when they are young, and it's the parent's job to teach them to eat a little bit of everything and be grateful for having food on the table. It doesn't mean they have to like everything; not even adults like everything. But there's a difference between not liking a thing or two and refusing to eat almost everything that you're offered. In this case, the friend of the mom whose child is a picky eater has no issue preparing a different meal for her, since she doesn't like what's on the table. But the issue is the mom's reaction. 

It's normal for a host to want her guests to feel welcome and well tended to, even if they are young children. What is not normal is for the mom to be upset when her friend is actively trying to solve a situation (that's actually not her responsibility) and blaming her good-natured gesture for her child's complaints at home afterwards. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10676461824
    via brookecagle

    The mom and her daughter. 

    Not actual story subjects.

  • 02
    My friend has us over for dinner every couple of weeks. My daughter is a picky eater and the first time she wouldn't touch
    via nomore_fear
  • 03
    dinner, my friend made her some buttered pasta. I appreciated it. She'd already cooked for everyone and still went back into
    via nomore_fear
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10676462080
    via lenscapewithme

    Cooking pasta.

    Representative only.

  • 05
    the kitchen to make sure my kid ate. The last time we went over, my daughter looked at her plate and asked for pasta before she'd even sat down. I told her there
    via nomore_fear
  • 06
    was bread and chicken on the table, both things she eats at home. She said, "I'll just wait," and sure enough, my friend went to put the water on.
    via nomore_fear

  • In that moment, what the mom should have said before her daughter's entitled comment was, ‘No, she’s not making you another meal. If you eat this at home, you'll eat it here. My friend is not your personal chef' or something along those lines. It's the mother's responsibility to teach her child to be respectful, and assuming she will be given another meal is not respectful at all. The friend is most likely trying to avoid a temper tantrum in her house, not spoil her friend's kid. The mom is the one who should have taken control of the situation and established the boundary. She didn't, and now she's blaming her friend for her daughter throwing tantrums and complaining. 

  • 07
    I asked my friend later if we could skip the separate meal next time. I usually make sure there's at least one thing my daughter likes on the table and she can
    via nomore_fear
  • 08
    leave the rest. My friend said she'd rather spend ten minutes making pasta than spend the evening watching a kid go hungry in her house. I get where she's coming from.
    via nomore_fear
  • 09
    After we eat there, we're back to arguing at home about why I can't just make pasta too. I know my friend is trying to be kind and it feels ride to tell someone what they can cook in their own kitchen.
    via nomore_fear
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10676462336
    via skv_creates

    Having dinner.

    Stock photo unrelated.

  • 11
    I'm thinking of suggesting we get together in the afternoon for a while instead. WIBTA if I stopped bringing my daughter over for dinner?
    via nomore_fear

  • The solution is not to cancel dinner with the friend, but to teach her daughter to be grateful for the meals she's offered and to be respectful in other people's houses, or, in short, to be a parent. Parenting can be uncomfortable and hard sometimes; it's a part of life and involves teaching young children to adapt and to be good and respectful members of society. The mom can't blame her friend for her daughter being disrespectful, and she can't leave the responsibility to deal with her attitude to her either. She either leaves her daughter at home, with her grandparents, or with a babysitter until she learns to behave, or she teaches her not to have that attitude towards people who are only offering their homes and cooking to her. 

  • 12
    teamglider After we eat there, we're back to arguing at home about why I can't just make pasta too. "Different houses have different rules. When you're here, you follow our house rules. If you aren't able to understand that, then you can't go to Auntie's for dinner."
    via teamglider
  • 13
    BulbasaurRanch I hate considerate people too!!! This is a really bizarre hill to de on. Stop bringing your kid. Your friends won't say it, but they'd prefer if you didn't always bring your child.
    via BulbasaurRanch
  • 14
    2 Much3636 Don't take your daughter. If she asks why she can't go, tell her the truth. Asking your friend, or anyone hosting a dinner, to make a separate meal other than what's offered is r de and insulting. Until she can behave properly, she can just stay at home.
    via 2_Much3636
  • 15
    TorusMandibularis "I'll just wait" from a child (I don't see anything about the age of the daughter) to their hostess to get up and make them a separate dinner is mouthy and really bad manners. Your friend is not the problem.
    via TorusMandibularis

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meals kids friends reddit story parenting dinner eating daughter Reddit picky eater children mom
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