62-year-old dad scolds 16-year-old daughter for buying a $60 hoodie with her own money because he's unemployed and getting his PhD: 'Seriously, in our financial state?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Feb 8, 2026 8:00 PM EST

It's her money, she should be able to do what she wants with it.

Teenagers are not known for making the best financial decisions. Famously, when I was 17, I commissioned a wig maker to create a wig that resembled the hairdo of the most famous real estate agent in my hometown. I don't remember how much it cost, but it was definitely around $200. I knew that if I asked my mom to buy such an item for me, she would never have agreed. But since I had money from working at a restaurant that summer, I was more than willing to blow a chunk of change on such an extravagant purchase. After all, it was my money, and not my parents. 

I wasn't a teenager supporting my parents financially, so I didn't think twice about spending my money on a frivolous item like a big blonde wig. But many teens don't have the luxury of spending their earnings on whatever they want. They spend their money on their own gas, car insurance, and food, and don't have a lot of it left over for wigs. Some teens have to explicitly ask their parents for permission before they're allowed to buy anything, which might seem a little strict, but could help set their kids up for a more stable financial future. That, or it could make their teenage kids annoyed that they don't have control over the money they earn from their labor.

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  • Young blonde woman wearing a hoodie
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

     

  • The parents in this story are in a precarious financial situation. The dad is 62 and is pursuing a PhD because he hasn't been employed for six years, and the mom is a teacher. When the mom found out that their daughter spent her money on a pricey hoodie, she freaked out. 

  • Am I wrong for buying a £45 hoodie with my own money even though my family is tight on money?

    For context, I (16F) have my own part- time job. I barely make £100 per month (this will be important later).
    via u/justmerfox
  • My dad is currently doing a PhD on international fees in the UK, so we're currently paying upwards of £17,000 per year for 4 years, as well as my subsidised fees (90% bursary) for my attendance at a private sixth form (academic scholarship).
    via u/justmerfox
  • Buildings at the University of Glasgow
    via Zhanhui Li

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My dad has no job (he's been unemployed since COVID) and my mum is an assistant teacher, which is barely enough money to pay for all of this, including rent, and their savings can only go so far.
    via u/justmerfox
  • I understand this. I always have. We've been tight on money since I was 11, when my dad lost his job.
    via u/justmerfox
  • But we were doing okay because we weren't paying outrageous university fees, and a result, we're now worse off.
    via u/justmerfox
  • One of the reasons I got a job was so I wouldn't have to burden my parents and be able to pay for my own things with my own money.
    via u/justmerfox
  • I'm not one to mindlessly spend my money on material things, but unfortunately, clothes are expensive.
    via u/justmerfox
  • I wanted to buy a hoodie from Urban Outfitters as I want a few more clothes, so I told my mum I was buying a hoodie and splitting it into 3 monthly payments (using Klarna) so I had to pay £15 upfront.
    via u/justmerfox
  • Apparently, she took this as the cost being £15 as a whole and not £45. This morning, when I went downstairs to get ready for school, she called my name.
    via u/justmerfox
  • This is how it went. M: calls my name Me: Yes? M: Are you out of your mind?
    via u/justmerfox
  • You spent £45 on the hoodie? You know about our financial situation and you're going around spending £45?
    via u/justmerfox
  • Older woman holding her stomach while sitting on the couch
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I thought it was £15! Me: I told you it was 3 monthly payments? M: I thought you meant it was £15 in total.
    via u/justmerfox
  • Me: Okay, I'll cancel it! M: Seriously, in our financial state? Me: I said I'll cancel it!
    via u/justmerfox
  • I went quiet after that and just ignored her. I don't understand, it's my money. As I said, I barely make £100 per month, so it's not a significant amount that could go towards aiding my parents in their finances.
    via u/justmerfox
  • They might ask me to pop to the supermarket a few times to buy something they've forgotten, but that doesn't even amount to £10 most times.
    via u/justmerfox
  • I guess she didn't like the fact I got upset, because she asked me why I was in a mood, in a bit of a harsh tone.
    via u/justmerfox
  • I didn't reply and just ignored her, pretending I didn't hear her (I'm deaf). She then repeated what she had said before about our financial situation and why would I spend £45 and she really thought it was £15, albeit in a softer tone.
    via u/justmerfox
  • We did talk normally after that (we take the bus together) but I'm still frustrated and it dampened my mood as that wasn't a great start to my morning, and I keep thinking about it, even on the bus, even in school.
    via u/justmerfox
  • So, Reddit, AITA? I do understand if I'm in the wrong, I just don't think my mum gave me sufficient explanation and thus am turning to Reddit for an unbiased explanation of my actions.
    via u/justmerfox
  • Thank you. Edit: It seems some of you are confused and I should've given further context.
    via u/justmerfox
  • My parents are not deadbeats, nor self- centered. In fact, the only reason my father is doing a PhD is so my brother and I can. have a better future in terms of our education and careers by staying in the UK.
    via u/justmerfox
  • He is not doing this because he is a selfish academic, nor because he doesn't care for his children.
    via u/justmerfox
  • Same goes for my mother. He is trying to find a job, but he is 62 and his age has been a barrier for the 6 years he's been trying to find a job.
    via u/justmerfox
  • He did his MA back in 2022 and still could not find a job. He has a myriad of experience in his field and this is no fault of his own, merely something he cannot control.
    via u/justmerfox
  • Edit 2: Thank you for all your responses. They are helpful. One thing I would like to clear up again - my father is trying to find a job as a teacher assistant but is waiting on a reply.
    via u/justmerfox
  • He also cannot do certain jobs as some of you have suggested since he has low stamina due to his age and present health issues.
    via u/justmerfox
  • A teacher is quite sedentary in their movements so it is a more suitable role for him.
    via u/justmerfox
  • Scared_Fox_1813 NTA. You said yourself that you got this job to be able to pay for your own things and not be more of a burden on your parents. That is exactly what you were doing with that sweatshirt, paying for yourself with your own money so you didn't have to ask your parents to buy you one. Your mom should be grateful that you at only 16 years old are so conscious of the household finances that you're doing what you can to be less of a financial burden on your parents.
    via u/Scared_Fox_1813
  • justmerfox Original Poster's Reply Thank you very much. I appreciate your kind words. :)
    via u/justmerfox
  • spine_slorper Honestly I'm really surprised Klarna allowed you to use it, under 18 year olds aren't eligible and shouldn't be approved. Did you sign up under your parents name? This is for the very good and legitimate reason that consumer debt is bad and getting into the habit of buying things you can't afford at your age isn't a good idea.
    via u/spine_slorper
  • justmerfox Original Poster's Reply Yeah, my mum's name.
    via u/justmerfox
  • Mansegate NTA. Your money, your choice. I would say, though, that your mother is clearly under a lot of stress at the minute. One of her worries could be that you might turn out as financially untrustworthy as your father. FWIW, I don't think you are, but she probably heard "credit" and "three times as expensive as I thought" and just flipped, because she's not in a good space. Cut her some slack, give her a hug.
    via u/Mansegate
  • justmerfox Original Poster's Reply I know. I feel bad for her, especially since she's the one that's going out for 6-9 hours a day working with children one of the most - exhausting professions ever. And I love her for that. I wish she wasn't so stressed though, but who could blame her?
    via u/justmerfox
  • nobelprize4shopping NTA Unless you have agreed to hand over your monthly earnings, it isn't your mother's business how you spend them, providing you don't spend more than you earn. UO is undoubtedly overpriced for what it is, but if it's worth having only £55 for other stuff for the month, that's your decision. However, do understand that your mother is probably incredibly stressed about money so cut her some slack. I'm surprised your father doesn't work at least a few hours part time a week to
    via u/nobelprize4shopping
  • justmerfox Original Poster's Reply I definitely understand her point of view, I think she could've just communicated better. My father's currently trying to find a part-time job on the side. Thank you for your comment.
    via u/justmerfox
  • Grawlix84 NTA. I see some of the arguments saying you shouldn't know about your parents finances but I'm in the camp of "the more you know". Knowing what your parents are going through is also a way to avoid what your parents are going through. But just because you know, doesn't mean you should be involved. You're working hard for your money and being upset over buying a sweater sets a wrong precedence. Where's the line; will you continue to work and support your parents all throughout their har
    via u/Grawlix84
  • justmerfox Original Poster's Reply Thank you - I think I'm old enough to know about finances. My parents are not expecting me to support them for every financial burden, and certainly not expecting me to abandon higher education to support them. In fact, they are doing this so I CAN pursue higher education by staying in the UK and getting a better quality of education. My parents are very proud of me for my job. I think my mum is just frustrated, but of course, I'm not saying that excuses her ta
    via u/justmerfox
  • No-Luck-1151 NTA at all. Send me a link to the hoodie on a wishlist and I'll buy it for you.
    via u/No-Luck-1151
  • justmerfox Original Poster's Reply You're too kind! But I think there are more important things than a hoodie and my mum had a point to some extent. Thank you though! :)
    via u/justmerfox

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hoodie dad daughter mom money united kingdom phd finances old people parents
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