Boyfriend asks his 47-year-old girlfriend if she can write her mortgage off on his taxes: 'What he's proposing is tax fraud.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Feb 20, 2026 8:00 PM EST

She needs to drop this boyfriend because he's bad news.

We all have a friend who needs to break up with her boyfriend. It's not because he's not good-looking enough for her, or they aren't a good match: it's because she's financing his lifestyle while he sits at home and does nothing. The same logic can be applied to any relationship! Any girlfriend who thinks that it's acceptable to sit at home all day and scroll on her phone while bringing no money to the household is not someone you want to build your life around. If you're a stay-at-home parent or have a condition that keeps you from working, that's one thing. But if you quit your perfectly good job for no reason and expect your partner to take care of you indefinitely, then you're probably just taking advantage of their kindness and desire to be there for you through your "troubles." 

Leeches make it very clear that they are leeches. They're not good at being subtle about it. They will ask others to do things for them that most of us would find incredibly shameful. I would rather do any job in the world than ask my romantic partner to foot the bill for my extravagant lifestyle without me having to lift a finger. It's unthinkable for most of us to ask our friends or family to help us commit illegal acts to get out of a financial hole we put ourselves in, and yet people do it every day.

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  • A person is filling in a tax form
    via Behnam Norouzi (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The boyfriend in this story is a typical leech. He spends money recklessly without thinking about where it comes from. Spoiler alert: it didn't come from him or his employer, because he doesn't have an employer. On top of all of that, he wants his girlfriend to break the law for him.

  • Am I overreacting because my BF wants to write off my mortgage on his taxes?

    I (47f) bought a house about 10 years ago in Washington. I paid $230,000 for it.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • After living in it for 5 years, I decided I wanted to move to Idaho. I put new floors, new countertops, new bathrooms, and redid the landscaping.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • I turned around and sold it for $407,000. I found a house I fell in love with in Idaho and bought it for $400,000.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • I put $160,000 down on my new house. I am a commercial insurance agent. I make about $6k/month take
    via u/Former-North6569
  • My mortgage is $1500/mo. After about 4 years of living here, in Idaho, I met my current BF.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • When we first got together, he lived at his friends house. He didn't make much money, but he had a decent job working for an electrician company.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • Shallow focus photo of man fixing steel cable
    via Anton Dmitriev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He wanted to move in after we were together for 6 months. It was better for him and his son.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • I provide a room for his son, and I pay almost all the bills since he moved in.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • Eventually he quit his job to go do door to door sales, for 5 months, because his friend sold him inflated promises.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • I told him it was a scam, he didn't listen to me and went anyway. Aaannd guess what...It turned out to be a scam.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • He lost thousands on travel costs, and expenses. He came back from sales de d broke. He decided to open his own company doing renovations and landscaping.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • He still hasn't made much and I am still paying most of the bills. Including his dental insurance, a tire bill he accrued, his half of a hot tub we were supposed to be paying for together, and an expensive gym membership we are supposed to be paying together.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • A hot tub sitting on top of a wooden deck
    via Clay Banks (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Recently, he came to me and said that he wants me to start giving him the money I put toward my mortgage, so that he can pay it out of his bank account and use my mortgage as a write off.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • I don't know why, but I feel very offended that he wants to use my house and the mortgage I pay as a write off.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • He truly has no idea why this would be offensive to me. He keeps saying it will save "US" money.
    via u/Former-North6569
  • Can someone help me understand this? Am I just too sensitive? Will this help us or will he most likely be the only one benefitting from doing something like this?
    via u/Former-North6569
  • 420Adhd1985 You need a new bf, like now!!
    via u/420Adhd1985
  • Teamtunafish HI no and don't do it. What he's proposing is tax fraud.
    via u/Teamtunafish
  • No-Atmosphere-2528 Jesus why is this still in your house. He's going to use your money to claim he was paying for the house down the line to try and steal your equity. You're under- reacting.
    via u/No-Atmosphere-2528
  • Spare-Management2847 girl leave him...... he is mooching off of you
    via u/Spare-Management2847
  • Foreign-Cow-1189 You are being 1000% taken advantage of. He's a lifetime "broke guy" who will always look for a way to squeeze a little more out of you.
    via u/Foreign-Cow-1189
  • Chazquas17 This guy sounds like a
    via u/Chazquas17
  • Dependent-Evidence71 No, no, and NO! Not over-reacting! Do not go along with this. If you ever break up he'll be able to show his bank statements that make it look like he was paying your mortgage. He also could possibly use this to take bank loans that he can't pay. If you go along with this you could be setting yourself up to lose your home. He's already shown you he can't be trusted with money, he doesn't hold up his end of an agreement. This arrangement has absolutely no benefit for you what
    via u/Dependent-Evidence71
  • I hate to say it, but he probably saw you as an easy mark. What do you know about his past relationships? What's your dynamic generally like? From your brief post I get the impression that he's probably pushy and talks you into things that you wouldn't normally consider, or that make you uncomfortable. Doing this would really be a horrendous mistake. Don't even consider it and give him a firm NO. Which is a complete sentence, by the way.
    via u/No-Masterpiece5906
  • Interesting Tie_4624 You sounds so put together... why is this the kind of guy you're attracted to?
    via u/Interesting_Tie_4624

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Tags

boyfriend broke insurance taxes girlfriend mortgage bills money unemployed toxic relationship
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