Sister-in-law tells expecting 23-year-old single mother of 3 that she's selfish for having another baby: 'She has a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, and an 8-month-old; the older two are from a deadbeat.'

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  • Woman in red and black floral tank top sitting on gray sofa holding a toddler
  • Am I wrong for telling my sister-in-law she’s selfish for having another baby and getting angry when she asked me to babysit?

    My sister in law (23F) just found out shes 9 weeks pregnant. She has 3 kids at home (4F) (2F) (8moF) the older two are from a deadbeat- he's never had them overnight, hardly ever sees them, and hasn't paid a lick of child support for months.
  • He left in the middle of the night when her middle was only 6 months old to be with another woman.
  • Side view of handsome unshaved man in fashionable clothes driving his automobile
  • Her youngest is 8 months old and the baby daddy is in a different state- he is not coming back to home state because he has a warrant and his father just got diagnosed with a terminal illness and he wants to stay with him.
  • This guy isn't any better than the last, he is not supportive in anyway. He does not help with finances- if anything he wants her to pay him money and send him and his family food.
  • Red and green bags filled with groceries
  • Cheezburger Image 10610608384
  • So why bring another baby into this mess.. I know it's her decision and not everyone supports abortion, but there are other options.
  • I very nicely told her that keeping this baby is selfish. She's already struggling with severe anxiety, depre son, derealization, severe migraines, etc..
  • She will have 4 under 5, a single mother and no help from the baby daddies.
  • She asked me to help her so she can sleep once she has the baby (like come watch her kids) and it just made me mad.
  • SO AITAH?! Obviously I can't convince her to do anything she doesn't want to do, and I don't want her to resent me.
  • I want her to be able to come to me when she needs me, but where does it stop?!
  • 18k_gold Sorry I can't help and please don't rely on me. I'm sure you have it all figured out which is why you are having another child. Where is the latest baby daddy? edit thanks for the award
  • Exotic-Rooster4427 You can't stop someone like this. All you can do is refuse to support and call cps.
  • vengefulkohlrabi7 You don't enable her, because offering to help will only ensure that she has 1 more, 2 more, 3 more. Why stop when people will not hold you accountable? Anyone helping her is only hurting her, because it keeps her from waking up
  • No-Chicken3745 NTa she can't look after the children she has financially or emotionally. Everyone needs to stop enabling her, it's not doing her other kids any favours.
  • toastedmarsh7 NTA. If her mom wants to keep supporting her, that's her business but it doesn't obligate you to support her. I would be very low contact in your situation so she would never even consider being able to ask me for help.
  • ChampionEither5412 NTA Don't help this woman. She's just gonna keep having kids and they'll probably end up being. removed by the state. Then she'll have some more, and they'll get removed. I don't know if she's just incredibly stupid or what, but there's obviously a reason she keeps having kids and refuses birth control. Her life trajectory sounds awful, which is really sad, but there's nothing you can do at this point. Maybe one day she'll wake up and you can help her go back to school or you
  • NixKlappt-Reddit NTA Tell her, that's her decision to have a baby. But she can not decide how you spend your free time.
  • NutAli The only way it will stop is if she stops having s*x, so either gluing her legs together or the onset of the menopause. Those poor children!!! And her mum should stop giving her handouts, too, as she's just enabling her to have more and more children!!!
  • bythebrook88 Why is your SIL asking you, and not her brother/sister?
  • night_noche Wait, so your brother is the new father?

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