24-year-old brother refuses to financially provide for his 16-year-old sisters' baby: 'She said I was abandoning her like her boyfriend did.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 5, 2026 12:00 PM EST

She needs to take the dad to court and get the child support she's entitled to. There's no world in which she doesn't get child support if her ex-boyfriend is the father, even if they have to garnish his wages.

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  • Beautiful young mother in kitchen holding her newborn baby son in her arms
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A teen mother holds her baby in her arms.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to help pay for my teenage sisters' baby?

    (This is gonna be a pretty long one, sorry.) So basically, I (24M) have always had a close bond with my younger sister (16F).
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • Even though I'm almost a decade older than her, we were pretty close growing up and played together a lot.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • The issue is that a behavior of hers that used to be kind of harmless has turned into a serious problem.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • She is really reckless. Two years ago I moved out and left her and our single mom in our old apartment.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • After I left, it seems like our mom went easier on her. A few months later she started dating a 16 year old athlete.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • A football player is walking on the field
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A high school football player walks on the football field

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • That might not sound terrible at first, but my sister had only just turned 14 a few weeks before they started dating, which worried me.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • Not long after that I went abroad to visit friends. I ended up getting a good job opportunity there and stayed for almost two years.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • That meant I was pretty detached from family life. When I finally came home this Christmas, excited to see everyone, I walked in and looked around a bit, only to spot my very clearly pregnant sister.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • She was standing in the kitchen in one of Mom's old sweaters, and it was obvious.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • A woman standing in a room with flowers
    via Colin + Meg (Unsplash+)

    An expecting teen mom holds her belly.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I asked how far along she was. Seven months. That meant everyone had known for a long time except me.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • Apparently the boyfriend bailed as soon as his parents found out. His family is well off and threatened lawyers the second child support was mentioned.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • Over the next few days I found out she had dropped out of school temporarily. Mom picked up extra shifts.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • They are already behind on rent and money is tight. On Christmas Eve Mom sat me down and said we needed to talk.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • She explained how expensive diapers, formula, hospital bills, and everything else are. She said I am doing well abroad and that family helps family.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • Eventually she asked if I could send a few hundred every month, maybe more if emergencies came
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • I said I needed to think about it. Later that night I talked to my sister alone.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • I was not even angry anymore, just tired. I asked what her plan was and she shrugged.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • She said she would figure it out, that Mom would help, and that of course I could help too.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • She said it like it was obvious. I told her I love her and I will always be there emotionally.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • I offered to help her look into school programs or job training and help her make a plan.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • But I said I am not going to financially support a child that is not mine.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • She started crying and said I was abandoning her like her boyfriend did. She said I got to escape and build a life while she is stuck, and that if I really cared I would not let my niece or nephew struggle.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211

  • She's a kid going through a lot right now. She's not being totally rational about what she's asking her brother to do.

  • Mom overheard and said I was selfish and that this is what older siblings do when fathers do not step up.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • I said that is exactly the problem. The father should be stepping up. Since then the house has been tense.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • I leave in a week to go back to my old life because they're both pressuring me about it while refusing to hear me out.
    via u/Emotional-Act2211
  • Antesqueluz You can pay court costs to pursue paternity/child support. That seems like the best way to help, imo.
    via u/Antesqueluz

  • This is the best way to go. If he promises to "support her" in a vague way, she might think that he's agreeing to support her the way a father would: every day for the next 18 years. If she's constantly asking him for financial support for every little thing, he might start to resent her, and that wouldn't be good for either of them. She clearly sees him as someone she can rely on for financial support, but not much emotional support. He's obviously a decent brother, but he probably already feels kind of weird about supporting someone who couldn't even call him up to tell her that she was expecting a baby. He's not a huge presence in her life. If he were, he would've been the first person she called. 

    If he tells her in no uncertain terms, "I will support your legal fees so that you can get child support, but I won't give you money indefinitely because you haven't sought child support," then she can either take that deal or leave it. She will get child support, even if the father of her child threatens legal action. If they take a DNA test and the baby is his, he won't have a case against it.

  • Ehy350 I'm not understanding how the boyfriend mentions getting lawyers involved and your sister backs off. Surely that would be in her and the child's favour.
    via u/Ehy350
  • youshouldseemeonpain It doesn't matter they threatened lawyers if she sues for child support. The law says he must support the child. Your sister needs a lawyer and if the family is wealthy they would probably take it on pro bono. Please advise your sister to find a lawyer and sue for child support.
    via u/youshouldseemeonpain
  • KingBretwald NTA Once the baby is born and DNA tests can be done, your mother and sister absolutely need to pursue child support. The only thing I would recommend is perhaps helping them with some of the lawyer fees. IF you wish. But no help for the baby ESPECIALLY if they don't pursue child support.
    via u/KingBretwald
  • Seamus77079 "Apparently the boyfriend bailed as soon as his parents found out. His family is well off and threatened lawyers the second child support was mentioned." Huh?
    via u/Seamus77079
  • Novel_Fox NTA but tell them fight for child support. The boys family are trying to scare you guys off but thats not how this works. The boy will have to pick up a job and pay for his mistake. That's life. This isn't your financial problem but you should at least encourage your sister to get child support or something. There are resources available aswell but refusing child support isn't one of them. If they don't pay the court will garnish wages and force it tone paid. They need to fight for it
    via u/Novel_Fox
  • quotidian_qt Dad needs to be paying child support, period.
    via u/quotidian_qt
  • Mermaid-Grenade I don't think a family can lawyer their way to getting their son off the hook for child support. That's bulls.
    via u/Mermaid-Grenade

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baby lawyer brother teenagers abroad moving sister financial support single mom Father
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