Residents demand duplex neighbor soundproof their entire apartment after complaining they can hear every move, neighbor refuses: ‘They expect me to pay out of pocket’

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  • Stressed unhappy couple suffering from noisy neighbor.
  • AITAH for refusing to spend thousands more to soundproof my house for our duplex neighbors?

    A couple years ago my wife and I moved into one half of a newly built duplex.
  • The builder didn't have much experience building houses and there were a lot of issues with the property.
  • Our neighbors on the other side seemed nice enough at first, but a bit standoffish. A few weeks after moving in it was my wife's birthday, so we had a party.
  • We gave the neighbors a heads up that we'd have a musician playing guitar with some equipment.
  • During the party they came over and said the music was really loud. They were polite about it but clearly annoyed.
  • They were on their way out to a game so the interaction was short. After that it became clear that the bigger issue was the walls.
  • The sound insulation between the units was terrible. According to them they could hear us walking up the stairs or watching TV downstairs.
  • They started looking into options like going after the builder or contacting the city. I wanted to work with them, so I joined them in pushing the builder to address the issue.
  • After a long back and forth, the builder eventually gave each household $5k to fix the problem.
  • My wife and I used the $5k to insulate the shared wall between the units. The insulation was a little over $4k, and because the installers had to drill a lot of holes, we had to repaint the entire wall afterward for about $2k.
  • So we actually ended up putting some of our own money in to finish the job.
  • The day after the work was done they complained that I was walking too loudly down the stairs.
  • I said there wasn't really anything I could do about normal walking noise. They suggested I insulate the staircase.
  • I actually got a quote out of curiosity and it would have been about $4k. When I asked if they expected me to pay that out of pocket, they said yes.
  • At that point the situation started making us anxious in our own home. We were constantly thinking about how loudly we were being or whether the TV might bother them.
  • It got to the point where we didn't feel comfortable just living normally in our own house.
  • Duplex Doors in New England
  • There were also a few times where they slammed on the walls or floor out of frustration, which they later admitted to doing.
  • Eventually we stopped communicating because every interaction seemed to escalate and nothing was getting resolved. After that they wouldn't even acknowledge us.
  • If we waved they'd look straight past us. We just left it alone and lived our lives.
  • About a year later we got a puppy. Obviously puppies cry sometimes during the first couple weeks.
  • When she was in the crate we would keep her as far from the wall as possible to minimize noise.
  • During the first week we left them a gift card to a nearby restaurant with a note apologizing for any noise and hoping they could enjoy a night out on us.
  • They came over and returned it saying they wouldn't accept it because it "wasn't enough." They still refuse to talk to us.
  • So AITA for refusing to spend more money trying to fix sound issues in a duplex that we didn't cause?
  • Obvious-Block6979 What exactly did they do with their $5000 to soundproof? And does their noise bother you?
  • Difficult Ad8158 Original Poster's Reply They used the money to insulate their side as well since we have a firewall between the two properties. I believe they also paid extra to insulate between the first and second floor to minimize noise when walking around upstairs. Their noise does not bother us, here and there we might hear them walking up the stairs, doing house work, or moving things around.
  • rangersnuggles Also, you paid $2000 to paint one interior wall?!?
  • Difficult Ad8158 Original Poster's Reply Fair question. When they inject insulation they drill holes between each set of studs. Since several rooms in our house share that wall (living area, bathroom, stairs, master bath, laundry, bedroom), there were a lot of holes to patch before repainting.
  • different-take4u NTA, can you hear them? What did they do with the money the landlord gave them? Maybe complain to the landlord that they are loud and you don't think they did anything to insulate their side with the money the landlord gave them and ask the landlord to inspect both sides of the walls themself to see just be loud things really are.
  • Difficult Ad8158 Original Poster's Reply Sometimes we can hear them moving stuff around or going up the stairs but nothing that bothers us. We spend a few years in apartments so at this point it's background noise. They put the money to insulating their side of the wall and we both own our side of the property so no landlord to report this to.
  • jrm1102 NTA - No, youre not an AH for not spending thousands more. But youre letting this bother you way too much. Ignore them. Youre not doing anything other than living in your own home.
  • snack-scream-repeat NTA. They shouldn't live in a duplex and YOU should start living normally in your own home.
  • Pure-Ad-9802 NTA you did MORE than I would've. If they expect pure quietness they need to buy a house with no neighbors. Do not spend more
  • rangersnuggles Who complains about birthday party noise before they are leaving for several hours?! They seem whack.
  • Chetox373 Part of living in a duplex townhouse or apartment. As long as it isnt violating noise ordances it sounds like you did your part did they do it on their side as well with the money given? Can only so much if theybwant you to do more have them open their wallet
  • AbuZibda YWBTA if you capitulated to their demands. At this point, spending anything to meet their demands would be foolishness. Old me would start complaining to them about their nonsense. And I'd make a show of it. If you fix another thing, then there will one more thing. And then YWBTA.

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